I'm suddenly feeling old!!

thatbags....yes, it's an interaction and I handled it well on the surface given the shock/surprise I was feeling. I didn't have to like it though.
Re lack of childhood friendships, that reply was actually to iam64's, Eloethan's and Ariadne's posts re friendships. It doesn't negatively affect how I react to kind gestures....probably the opposite if you want to analyse it.

Without wishing to appear too analytical, katek (though it may appear so, I know), I'm still puzzled as to why you were shocked, to use your word, by the gesture on the train. This is simply because I am never shocked by kind gestures and wonder why anyone would be. And if I'm surprised it's only ever in a pleasant way.

I suspect that that particular train conductor would have made the same gesture to anyone, of whatever age, who arrived puffing and fighting for breath on his train, always providing he happened to be on the spot at the time. Better to prevent an asthma attack or heart problem than to have to delay the train because someone needed an ambulance as a result of no-one heeding possible warning signs.

I just didn't see/feel/believe that I was either unwell enough or elderly enough to warrant help I suppose. I deal with a lot of physical issues on my own, maybe more than I ought to, and am very used to just getting on with things unaided. I don't expect help although, perversely, I'm the first to offer it. Maybe I just haven't had a lot of kindness shown to me over the years, and there's also a sense of invasion I think when you've been brought up to not let feelings/weaknesses show. All very complicated I know!

Maybe not invasion....embarrassment perhaps?

Intrusion? Do you suspect that this person has perhaps seen through your carefully-constructed defences and you slightly resent him for it?

Does that mean that you are ashamed of not being totally fit and independent, Katak ?

Why? It is not as though you did something terrible. You are a perfectly normal person, but not Superman. Someone giving you a helping hand - someone who would give anyone a helping hand - is not sneering at you for needing it.

If a child couldn't reach something and you helped them to get it, would you be intruding? If they kicked you in the shins after you had helped them, would you think that they were justified? If they even wanted to kick you in the shins, what would you think of their attitude?

But of course Ana! Spent a lot of time and effort building those defences!

Elegran...I don't kick people in the shins, not even metaphorically. Been kicked enough in mine to know that it hurts. Yes, I am ashamed in many ways and no, I'm not 'a normal person', I was born with a spinal condition which affects my appearance. I had a mother who tried to hide these things and when she couldn't she descended into a trough of self pity. I've been on the receiving end of a lot of sneering and sideways looks so I'm preternaturally attuned to any indicators of same. Bit like twitchy cat and I sometimes get it wrong, I know.

I'm with those who feel they gained from moving to new homes. We learnt so much and find new experiences easier than the friends who have always lived in the same place.

Katek Your mother was wrong to make you feel you should hide away, and you have suffered from it ever since. Break the mould and value yourself. The sneerers are in the minority, don't assume everyone is the same.

Here's a toast to you. Happy Christmas!

Hear, hear, elegran!

And here's another toast to you, katek

Ladies, I salute you! Thank you very much.....slainte!!

Another toast to you, katek

I made work friends with a young woman who described herself laughingly, as an "army brat" in a discussion about a difficult issue. She was a strong young woman and I liked her a lot. We compared notes about the positives and negatives in our lives that resulted from constant moves, linked to our (powerful) fathers work. Thatbags - there may be a phd in this

Oh yes, forces brats us - dragged around the world behind imposing fathers! Sure there would be enough material for several PhDs!! Slainte to you as well iam64 ! Thank goodness I don't have stairs to climb-starting to feel a bit tipsy!!