Any tips for coping with getting older?

Honestly when you think about it age really is just a number and you are no different from the person you were in your 20s o r30s. You perhaps couldn't climb Mount Everest, but as you didn't do it when you were young why kid yourself that you would do it now if you were younger. Think of what we have, access to good health care, shelter, enough food, warmth and the opportunity to do so much. Pin a picture of a child in the poor parts of the world and give yourself a mental slap every time you begin to feel sorry for your lot. Undoubtedly some of us have a lot to put up with but we need to never give in and concentrate instead on fighting the bugger, whatever your bugger is!!

Life is for living and if you were suddenly faced with the realization that you only had 6 months of it to live, it would certainly concentrate your mind on what is most valuable in your life.

I've tried u3a Bella and didn't feel comfortable with it, although I might try again. To be honest I find it's my daughters social set that are rather self centered and don't do much of interest . When I was their age [oh dear..how awful that sounds] I was very political and went on protest marches to save the world for them, but that world seems to now be a consumer based throwaway society. I guess I don't understand the world of the working mother and the stress that is involved.

Tegan - have you tried U3A if there is one within striking distance of where you live? They have many and varied subjects. I am learning a new language, there are walking groups and talking groups, art history and many other subjects to choose from. You do have a SO, so perhaps you could find something to do together. I know what you mean. I always feel my rather intellectual SIL finds us boring, but so what, other people don't. Tbh he can be boring too. We do get relegated to the back burner sometimes and you have to factor in that they are a different age so finding friends' chat riveting is more of an age thing. Go out "there" and do something different. I'm sure you will feel you have enriched your life. Seeing your ex slotting in so well I think adds to the feeling of being marginalised but start getting active and finding interests, and good luck with that!

Honda, I'm 75, mentally a lot younger. I giggle a lot with my daughters and do try to enjoy life. I now have pain in both knees and other health issues I don't want to bore you with. There is so much you can enjoy, even when old. I think it's a lot to do with attitude.

About the statins, I am told I have to take them following small M.I. 15 years ago. I would love not to take them because I do wonder whether lots of aches and pains are because of them. Memo to self to look into this.
Good luck to everyone with the ageing thing. It ain't that bad!

ruby - Thank you. What a lovely post. You are right of course. My DD is a good person who has done well with her life through hard work. I hope I don't make her sound like a bad person. I think self pity comes into play with me at times. Also kitty's post above puts things into perspective. I am fit and well (as far as I know) and we have a nice life here. for you ruby for your lovely words.

A sobering thought - I have just taken the details of someone in a nursing home with advanced dementia who is exactly one month younger than me!

Although I am rarely concerned with my age (excepting in a jokey way!) that really pulled me up short.

If I do get down thinking about it I cheer myself up by thinking it is going to come to everyone one day- the alternative to not growing old isn't one I would want!

You're welcome Tegan. I need to join stuff too but how do I do that when I have days I can't get out of the house? On a practical level it is a pain in the posterior to have these health problems.

Thanks ruby! I have a cunning plan, which is all to do with the S.O.s birthday later this week. Something I'm going to join that will, hopefully open up our life a bit [and meet more people]. And I've found a new racing club to join [albeit not as easy to get to as the last one].

Tegan and KatyK Please don't feel down and have low self esteem. You are invaluable to your friends on here and your posts make such a difference to each and every one of us. I know our children can hurt us, beyond words but they are only one person and I know that that person is the one we have loved all their lives and still do but we cannot chose how they turn out or what they will become and we are not, now that they are adults themselves, responsible for that. But you are worthy, you are special and you are thought a whole lot of by so many. Put a smile on your beautiful faces and think of yourselves, do the house up for yourself Tegan, tell yourself over and again that you are wonderful people, as we all are on here who go out of our way every day to help others and to make our own online community a worthwhile, loving place to visit.

I think that is a brilliant attitude, Leticia.

I cope by ignoring it.
I go for a short run everyday and I aim to walk 10000 steps a day.
I volunteer for lots of things, I join lots of things, I keep my mind active.
I realise that it can't last forever but I will worry about that later.
I am determined to keep off medication- all old people seem to rattle with pills!

The 60's is definitely a time of realising that 'old age' is looming.I think many of us are decades behind in our minds but the body tells us otherwise.I am lucky to be fairly fit and have an active life but I live alone and my only son lives abroad. No problem at all now, flights are reasonable and FaceTime and Facebook keep us in touch almost daily.He laughs at my life of dogs and horse and On my visits there I am always included in any activity( if my 7year old grandson can do it so can I)off roading ,quad biking,kayaking,swimming and later this year a tree walk on ropes!!!
Great, but in your sixties you are aware that active life cannot continue forever and then what...I have no family here and do worry what will happen in the future. I should downsize but am the queen of procrastination and that it such a biggy.What if my health fails?
In fact looking ahead can be depressing if I allow it.Most of the time I don't but on a sleepless night ????

@ bogoff

Spot on.

I went to get a shingles vaccination. Have had it and its not on my wish list at all
Nurse 'You dont have a flu vaccine'

'Im not here in the winter'

'You could catch the germs on the plane'

I think blood tests equate as money spinners for the practice.

My GP long time ago allied GPs as small businesses. Tell the punters you need xyz test to pump money into the practice.

However as many of you here will concur, if you need good specialist treatment it is available, and FREE

My tip, stay away from doctors !. Needed a replacement inhaler, so went to see the nurse, she wanted to do some tets to see if I was on the correct one. Had test today, now I have to have chest x-ray, then see doctor to see why I have an obstruction (I was not aware I had an obstruction) DOH!

Tegan - it made me that you feel that having work on your house will make people see you differently. It shouldn't make any difference but I know what you mean. I have tried everything to make my DD as impressed with me as she is with her friend's mum but it hasn't worked. Anyway, onwards and upwards

I don't mind being there at the drop of a hat either Tegan. I would do anything for them. It's just a shame that my DD doesn't include me in much, but her friends mums (and now her mother-in-law, who has treated her appallingly in the past) are all included. It would be nice if she said 'mum would you like to come over for a cup of tea/chat/lunch, just you and me' but I realise it's never going to happen so I'm letting it lie. When I suggest it to her she is usually busy. It is what it is. I'm not going to stress over it any more.

I think we all have to face up to being marginalised in our childrens lives to some extent. DH is beginning to feel like that now that our grandson is getting older and busier, and whereas when he was younger, we used to be included in family outings, eating out, etc., now they tend to go with friends who have children the same age. This is perfectly normal as far as I'm concerned; better for GS and his parents, but my husband is not all that happy about it, although he doesn't say much. He muttered something recently about having to book in advance to go out for a walk with them! We talked about this when GS was small and I said the day would come. We still pick him up from school two days a week, but unless they come for Sunday lunch, we don't expect to see a lot of them. (He'll have to get used to it because in a few years time we won't even be needed to pick him up from school). I know if we need them they'll be there, and vice versa, but I don't want us to clutter up their lives into our old age.

I do think that people treat you how you let them treat you, and I have low esteem as well. DD's eyes have a way of glazing over when I talk about a lot of things. I'm having a lot of work done on my house soon, which I hope will make people look on me differently ie mums dumping ground of a house is going to become one that has to be respected more. I sometimes say that I'm not going to be there at the drop of a hat when needed but when I am I'm straight there. I don't mind that really; it's what mums are for...it's just the being thought of as boring that gets to me [believe it or not I don't actually spend all my time whingeing in the real world..it's just that, on here I know pople can switch me off if needed!!]

I will be 66 this year. The pluses are - I don't get any aches and pains, I can run for the bus, I'm only slightly overweight (maybe half a stone), I am only on medication for high blood pressure, but have been on this for over 10 years. My DH had cancer last year but is making a good recovery We have some lovely holidays, in the UK and abroad. We are OK financially and have no mortgage. I have a lovely family.

The minuses - losing all my hair 5 years ago as whinged about many times on GN (but I have a lovely hair system now and no one would know). My DH's cancer last year was horrendous. I do feel marginalised from my DD's life, as Tegan says above, I am contacted when they need help. I thought my DD and myself were close, so it has come as a bit of a shock. I have worried and stressed over this, upsetting my DH when I threaten to 'say something to her' as he is afraid of us losing contact. I have decided that I won't. I will just get on with my own life and she can come in and out when she chooses. You can't make anyone do what they don't want to do. I have very low self esteem, so I think I take everything too personally when it is not meant. I have also decided that I am OK. I am a decent, kind person who has had some horrible knocks in life and I've picked myself up and got on with it, so I'm going to give myself a break in my later years and look after me and DH.

Late to this thread. I was diagnosed with high cholesterol, tried reducing my butter intake and converted to Benecol, was amazed how much my level came down in a few weeks, but my Dr. wanted it lower and put me on Simvastatin. I have taken it for some years now and find no side effects that I am aware of and I don't really bother about my diet now.

Thank you to those who commented on my doubts about Statins.
Your opinions are exactly why I am very doubtful about taking them.
I think instead I will continue with those margerines/yogurts etc. which contain natural plant statins, and buy some other natural products which I have seen advertised.
Thanks girls.

I'm having a post-class glass (or two) of wine while I catch up with Gransnet. I may even get round to having something to eat – I didn't have any of the birthday cake and haven't had any supper. I am neither fat nor a lady, but I haven't heard one sing yet. However, we id spend the last half hour of my class singing waiata, which would be hard for my gin-sodden vocal chords at any time, but our teacher pitches serious soprano. Thanks for the good wishes.

Happy birthday Absent, though, by my calculations, it will be almost over now!

I share my birthday with Gransnet but I am 61 years older (i.e. 65 today). I have looked after a three-year-old throughout the day, doing pretty much all the things that I did when absentdaughter was three years old, and then entertained three other grandchildren after school, s well as having a lengthy cuddle with the newborn. In addition, I have made and iced a carrot cake to take to my language class this evening for a little celebration during our coffee break – and worked extremely hard during the class. I have received lovely home-made birthday cards and some jolly presents. Frankly, I always reckon that the next year will be even better than the one that has gone before – and I'm looking forward to it.

I know exactly what you mean about worrying - or at least trying not to. I also lost two friends in a year around the same time as my Dh passed away. All three of them were about the same age, middle to late sixties. I often wonder why I'm still standing - but I am, wobbling about on some days