Mum's evasive answers to my questions.

My granny had a similar saying, 'Pride must abide' (yes, usually while vigorously brushing the knots out of my hair!)

'What's the time?'
(Looks at wrist)
'Two hairs past a freckle!'

"If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about!" was a frequent threat from my mother, bearing in mind she was usually the one to make me cry in the first place.

Also, "You'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute." What on earth was that supposed to mean? I did know it was another threat that soon I would be crying again though!

Grandma2213, I got both of these on a regular basis.

So we weren't supposed to cry and we weren't supposed to laugh either, were we!
However did we manage to grow up normal??

Trisher,
I too suffered with having my hair combed roughly and pulled with a comb when it was in knots. ('Ow mum, you are pulling it!!!')

Mum said, 'you will thank me when you are older. Don't you know, a woman's hair is her Crowning Glory!!

mrsmopp, I'm not sure I did grow up normal. Maybe I acquired the gift of levitation when I was told, 'Don't walk on that floor. I've just washed it!'

If we were being annoying but not enough for a slap, Mum would threaten to snickersneeze us or tell us that we would make a parson throw his book in the fire.

One of my sayings....and I have no idea where I picked it up ...is kind words butter no parsnips. I have a feeling it may have been a Victoria Wood sketch

She might have used it vampirequeen but it isn't hers I heard it when I was little and never understood it really-we never got butter on our parsnips anyway!
We might not be normal but we must have been tough. I think even the most loving home had that element of threat. Crying, complaining and laughing all got criticism. As for pulling a face about what was happening-well "The wind will change and you'll stay like that".

Asking for anything was always a minefield, wasn't it?

'Them what ask don't get .... and them what don't ask dont want'.

In other words ... the answer is 'NO'.

'Do you think I'm made of brass?'

Any spendthrift who had more money than sense was described as 'having more brass than brains'.

I was always told if I pulled faces "you'll stay like that". I have lots of fun pulling faces with my toddler grandchildren and they roll about laughing.

@Gillybob - There was a music-hall song, 'Keep Your Hand On Your Ha'penny'! No doubt the saying came first.

When we didn't have bread and pullet, we often had bread and scrape...

My Granny used to say 'Shit and sugar' in response to 'What's for dinner?'. She was a naughty Granny who was always telling us to swear.