Baby showers for Grandmas - latest from US

I don't think you can lay the blame totally on corporate America.

Trends only take off if real, actual people follow them.

I agree with Maggie it's the sense of obligation to follow trends so as not to appear different from others that is the pernicious element.
We've had numerous threads on GN where people have been hurt by their DCs' failure to take them out on Mother's Day, upset because they haven't been invited to something or other, their wedding anniversary has been overlooked by their OH, or they have been expected to provide something they can't afford, when the event in question is an artificial, man-made construct that has led to unrealistic expectations and disappointment.

The best expressions of love and joy are those that arise spontaneously and with sincerity.

I would have had five showers! What if I next have a tribe of GGC?

Granny showers- No Thankyou! For one thing there's the question of how many you would have to have. Lets suppose you have 2 DCs and they have 2DCs each that's 4 Granny showers, because as we all know if you do it for 1 you have to do the same for the other one. I have 3 DSs and one has 3 DCs already. I don't need to point out that if things go on this way the showers will be a downpour!

My husbands once large family were good at that as well. After the funeral service lots of talk about the deceased, good memories laughter and anecdotes told about them.

One of my husbands cousins at the last one brought along the old cine films photos etc that were part of both sides of my inlaws family.

My MIL was the oldest daughter of her family and kept this stuff going. That role has now rather been taken over by my Sister in law.

annodomini Perhaps they did.

That's about it, absent. When we buried my uncle and aunt, I couldn't help thinking how much they would have enjoyed a good party!

Yes, annodomini, my family has always done a good wake. Cry your heart during the service and interment, then eat, drink, sing, share memories – lots of memories – reinforce family ties and, most importantly, laugh for the rest of the day.

absent, you might be on to something. All the family funerals I have attended have been rather pleasant gatherings where you meet people you haven't seen...since the last funeral. Could I have a wake before I pop off, please?

Lys60 It's the commercialism that is behind it all this that worries me. It's a gimmick by advertising gurus in business interests. It could lead to one upmanship in present buying and costs and the shops are the only one who will benefit.

This gets problematical like school childrens parties where each parent tries to outdo the previous one. IMO best not to be encouraged,

How come we have managed happily without them in the UK so far.

Baby Showers for Grandmas-so what? If people want to have such a little celebration-why not? It's personal choice.

Presents at the bridal shower(s) before the wedding, wedding presents on the day, presents at the baby shower(s) towards the end of pregnancy, presents when the baby is born – it's a consumer paradise.

What next – a pre-posthumous funeral wake?

I'm sure you're right Maggiemaybe, life isn't always fun or inclusive and I do take your point about tight budgets and the proliferation of potentially high cost baby showers, hen doe's, weddings etc. I didn't mean to suggest that being concerned about that aspect indicated a superior or negative attitude. My comments about the way my long standing friendship group of women are already passing on baby items to help us with baby sitting, child care when parents are working etc confirms I'm well aware of the costs involved.

I'm not convinced that showers are always fun and inclusive though, Iam64.Yes, I've enjoyed one or two myself as a guest. I also know that there will be young mums on tight budgets who feel obliged to attend those they're invited to, often travelling some distance to do so, who do not find it easy to provide what is essentially an extra baby gift. Like so many hen dos, stag dos and weddings, showers seem to be getting more expensive and competitive. I don't think being concerned about that is necessarily evidence of a superior or negative attitude.

I was equally snitty about the notion of baby showers until I was told I was hosting my daughter's by her younger sister, who is the family organiser. I found my superior attitude was quickly demolished by the arrival of a host of very happy young women friends of my own daughters. I'd known many of the guests since the girls all met aged 2 at our local playgroup, others from primary or high school. My sisters and other relatives arrived. We ate cakes and sandwiches, had cups of tea/glasses of whatever, played games and laughed a lot. The gifts for my daughter and her then unborn daughter were great, including of course baby stuff but also a massage for the mum to be.

That baby is now 7 weeks old and of course, adorable. My own group of friends are much more laid back and averse to huge doe's than the younger generation. Some of them are grans and there has been discussion of us passing round travel cots, high chairs etc in the same way we did when our own children were tiny. Grannie showers could mirror all those baby sitting groups we were part of as young mums, that is ensure items are used and re-used. I want to continue to grow old with a positive attitude where ever I can manage it and grumbling about something that harms no one is something I'm attempting to avoid - yours sincerely, Pollyanna

* nelliemoser*

Oh for **************** sake! N00000000000!

Yes! It's been dreamt up by retailers to get us to spend on things we don't need.
Corporate America at it again.

I am glad I am not alone kittylester, many a true word is spoken in jest

like your list Soutra
'wetting the baby's head' (is that something males do?) is fine especially if it is a nice 'bubbly'
further than that - it is making money for the baby goods retailers

Am I the only one who would be thrilled by the thought of getting presents?

Actually, each time my DDs have had a baby two of my 'oldest' friends have given me presents. They were either jokey or practical - champagne and ear plugs, 'bunnykins' bowls etc. I thought it was a really kind thought.

But, I agree, baby showers etc are slightly OTT.

Yes, greedy and absurd. And not at all the same as parents and grandparents wetting the baby's head with their friends - a time-honoured British tradition. Though to be honest I still haven't quite got behind the whole baby shower concept either.

Definitely something to avoid. As a rule of thumb, some of the ideas imported from America, not all, aren't always that great and don't improve our established way of doing things. I think many grandparents fork out for their grandchildren, not only at the beginning of their lives, but often, do what they can to help as the children grow.

These 'showers' are intended to mark 'a new phase in a woman's life'. As most of us are still working and have our own interests, when we first become grannies, this seems a bit presumptuous as if we're expected to drop everything to become auxiliaries to the parents. It's just a scam thought up by the manufacturers and retailers of baby equipment.

Just noticed the advert at the top ...Time to start potting up!

The retailers will be rubbing their hands.............. What next? Cards for baby has just used the potty for the first time!

grannya hope your dgd is doing well?

Soutra