Baby showers for Grandmas - latest from US

Eight years ago, some friends came for tea. It was in celebration for one of them upon the birth of her first grandchild, who was born thousands of miles away. We gave her bunches of flowers and a bottle of fizzy.

A year later, the same thing happened to me, as my first grandchild was born thousands of miles away. Neither of us had close family nearby.

So greedy and absurd, no.

Kindness and understanding from friends, yes.

grandchild thousands of miles away - having bunches of flowers and a drink or a cake is not the same thing as 'a baby shower' intending to provide necessaries for the new grandchild (second car seat, travel cot, toys?)
I think 'baby showers' for the mother is more than sufficient.
BTW - was not being controversial or accusatory in this which is why it is in 'chat' - just that we all managed without 'showers' and to extend it to Grandmothers (maybe grandfathers) seems 'absurd and greedy'

I think we are comparing apples and pears here. The article is talking about gifts for the Grans such as baby equipment.When a friend of mine had a GC born away we got together with a bottle of fizz to toast the baby and share her joy but gifts for her? No.

X post !

Suggestions for Granny Shower boxes:

New iPad to show baby pics on
Earplugs
Energy (Lucozade doesn't quite cut it)
Sleep
Duct tape to apply to mouth when tempted to give advice
Maybe gin?

Oh and an instruction manual for pram/ buggy/car seat/gro-bag zips/gro-clock/ and a manicure to repair the damage to nails by aforementioned items of equipment.

I agree it seems completely OTT and unnecessary.

However I do understand where ffinnochio is coming from. When our granddaughter was born 13 weeks prematurely in New Zealand there were no celebrations as it was touch and go for a long time as to whether she would live. As most of you know, she has survived and recently went home. [#stillcan'tquitebelieveit] Last weekend was baby's due date and so we invited ours and our son in law's family for a champagne party to finally celebrate her birth. Not quite a baby shower, but still we felt the need to mark her arrival/survival.

Soutra

The retailers will be rubbing their hands.............. What next? Cards for baby has just used the potty for the first time!

grannya hope your dgd is doing well?

Just noticed the advert at the top ...Time to start potting up!

These 'showers' are intended to mark 'a new phase in a woman's life'. As most of us are still working and have our own interests, when we first become grannies, this seems a bit presumptuous as if we're expected to drop everything to become auxiliaries to the parents. It's just a scam thought up by the manufacturers and retailers of baby equipment.

Definitely something to avoid. As a rule of thumb, some of the ideas imported from America, not all, aren't always that great and don't improve our established way of doing things. I think many grandparents fork out for their grandchildren, not only at the beginning of their lives, but often, do what they can to help as the children grow.

Yes, greedy and absurd. And not at all the same as parents and grandparents wetting the baby's head with their friends - a time-honoured British tradition. Though to be honest I still haven't quite got behind the whole baby shower concept either.

Am I the only one who would be thrilled by the thought of getting presents?

Actually, each time my DDs have had a baby two of my 'oldest' friends have given me presents. They were either jokey or practical - champagne and ear plugs, 'bunnykins' bowls etc. I thought it was a really kind thought.

But, I agree, baby showers etc are slightly OTT.

like your list Soutra
'wetting the baby's head' (is that something males do?) is fine especially if it is a nice 'bubbly'
further than that - it is making money for the baby goods retailers

I am glad I am not alone kittylester, many a true word is spoken in jest

Oh for **************** sake! N00000000000!

Yes! It's been dreamt up by retailers to get us to spend on things we don't need.
Corporate America at it again.

* nelliemoser*

I was equally snitty about the notion of baby showers until I was told I was hosting my daughter's by her younger sister, who is the family organiser. I found my superior attitude was quickly demolished by the arrival of a host of very happy young women friends of my own daughters. I'd known many of the guests since the girls all met aged 2 at our local playgroup, others from primary or high school. My sisters and other relatives arrived. We ate cakes and sandwiches, had cups of tea/glasses of whatever, played games and laughed a lot. The gifts for my daughter and her then unborn daughter were great, including of course baby stuff but also a massage for the mum to be.

That baby is now 7 weeks old and of course, adorable. My own group of friends are much more laid back and averse to huge doe's than the younger generation. Some of them are grans and there has been discussion of us passing round travel cots, high chairs etc in the same way we did when our own children were tiny. Grannie showers could mirror all those baby sitting groups we were part of as young mums, that is ensure items are used and re-used. I want to continue to grow old with a positive attitude where ever I can manage it and grumbling about something that harms no one is something I'm attempting to avoid - yours sincerely, Pollyanna

I'm not convinced that showers are always fun and inclusive though, Iam64.Yes, I've enjoyed one or two myself as a guest. I also know that there will be young mums on tight budgets who feel obliged to attend those they're invited to, often travelling some distance to do so, who do not find it easy to provide what is essentially an extra baby gift. Like so many hen dos, stag dos and weddings, showers seem to be getting more expensive and competitive. I don't think being concerned about that is necessarily evidence of a superior or negative attitude.

I'm sure you're right Maggiemaybe, life isn't always fun or inclusive and I do take your point about tight budgets and the proliferation of potentially high cost baby showers, hen doe's, weddings etc. I didn't mean to suggest that being concerned about that aspect indicated a superior or negative attitude. My comments about the way my long standing friendship group of women are already passing on baby items to help us with baby sitting, child care when parents are working etc confirms I'm well aware of the costs involved.

Presents at the bridal shower(s) before the wedding, wedding presents on the day, presents at the baby shower(s) towards the end of pregnancy, presents when the baby is born – it's a consumer paradise.

What next – a pre-posthumous funeral wake?

Baby Showers for Grandmas-so what? If people want to have such a little celebration-why not? It's personal choice.

Lys60 It's the commercialism that is behind it all this that worries me. It's a gimmick by advertising gurus in business interests. It could lead to one upmanship in present buying and costs and the shops are the only one who will benefit.

This gets problematical like school childrens parties where each parent tries to outdo the previous one. IMO best not to be encouraged,

How come we have managed happily without them in the UK so far.

absent, you might be on to something. All the family funerals I have attended have been rather pleasant gatherings where you meet people you haven't seen...since the last funeral. Could I have a wake before I pop off, please?