The roof of my car, Iris 
We did our usual Saturday social, meeting up with friends at the pub for Racing Club (it'a actually the only time we ever seem to go out.) I have non alcoholic ginger beer, and Mr P has a a pint or three.
When we got into the car to come home, it was like an oven in it as I had forgotten to park in the shade. So, to stop getting all hot and bothered, himself decided that we would have the roof down. Pressed the button, whirr click whirr, down it came. We drove home, admiring the beautiful hedgerows, wild honeysuckle blooming, lovely smell of the meadow sweet etc.
Parked up outside, pressed the button to put the roof back up, & nothing. Mr P checked the hydraulic fluid and found it was low. Luckily we had some, but putting it in is a right pain, involving a syringe and a length of plastic tubing 
The angle of approach involved all sorts of contortions. It did not go down well that my main concern was centered around how much bottom cleavage that he appeared to be revealing. 
I think he said "Darling don't worry about that!" , but I may have misheard, due to the fact that the boot lid had just come crashing down on him.
Somehow Mr P managed to drop the cap of the thing behind the reservoir and couldn't get his arm in to retrieve it. I then had a go, as my arms are thinner. I could just feel it, but as I tried to grip it, it fell further down.
Mr P had an idea! 
He would use one of the 2 magnetic blocks that he uses to clean the glass on the aquarium. I dashed in to get them. Unfortunately, as he squeezed his arm into the gap, he dropped the magnet. He then decided to use the OTHER block to retrieve the FIRST block, and the metal cap of the tank for the hydraulic reservoir.
The area in question is now home to TWO magnets, and of course the original missing cap.
Our car mad neighbours from either side came out to laugh try to help.
They offered various potential solutions, one of which involved a THIRD magnet on a string. Simon produced a magnet, a garden cane and some string. It reminded me a bit of one of those "hook the duck" stalls one sees at the fair. Simon proceeded to dangle, and discovered that it was attracted to anything metal that it came across, such as any bit of the car. Richard suggested disconnecting the battery then reconnecting it. I suppose it is the equivalent of the "turn it off, then on again" theory.
For some reason, the whole thing had started to remind me of that song, "Paddy McGinty's Goat", as in "pushing it, shoving it etc". Call me uncanny, or hypersensitive to others feelings, but somehow I just knew that now was not the time to start singing. I went indoors and had a glass of wine.
Feeling guilty, I went out with cans of beer to refresh the troops. By now they were running out of ideas, but they did all come up with a plan for removing the damn ash trees that blight our gardens. It involved a chainsaw (of course) and some sort of bosun's chair slung between the trees. I didn't ask HOW they intended to sling it, but no doubt all will become clear next weekend. I may well go out that day.
So Iris is still roofless, but we did manage to use a motor bike cover (supplied by Richard) to cover her up so that when it rained (which it did) hopefully none will get in.
Please cross things that it doesn't rain tomorrow, as I can't quite see myself driving to work holding an umbrella over my head.
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As usual, you tell a good tale, Phoenix! 
Hope DH manages to get it up 
!
Where are all the "Borrowers" when you need them?
My guess is the chaps will want to go through the whole head scratching, sucking of teeth, head shaking rigmarole before deciding that when up the creek without a paddle all else fails, read the bloody instructions!
Iris obviously didn't want her top back on - hussy!
Iris is clearly an attention seeker!
Ana at the risk of seeming over anthropomorphic, I refer to it as taking her hat off!
Anyway, news! Mr P went out for "one last try" before dinner, and lo and behold, she put her hat on without a murmur! Mr P was very relieved, and the neighbour that was home joined him in the happy dance! Well, the male equivalent, which seemed to consist of the Wimbledon air punch accompanied by a speeded up version of a soft shoe shuffle!
I think I may have to forgive him for getting yogurt instead of clotted cream ice cream from the village shop this morning I just fancied some of the locally made ice cream to go with my stewed gooseberries, but I suppose yogurt is a healthier option!!
Luckygirl you could always borrow our Digby! For reasons best known to himself, at around 8 o'clock this morning he launched all of the just over a stone of himself on to the foot of the bed, where he sort of bounced onto Mr P, before taking a flying leap onto the chest of drawers that also serves as Mr P's bedside table. Mr P made some noises that I have never heard him make before
We are still not entirely sure what made Digby leap and bound (as he certainly doesn't have the physique for such movements) but an intelligent guess has narrowed it down to him spotting a fly or moth on the wall behind the chest of drawers. If this was indeed the case, we can rest easy in the knowledge that whatever it was, it lived to fight another day.
Oh phoenix I've laughed myself quite sick at this ! I even tried quoting some of it to DH but he didn't seem to appreciate the whole men failing to fix things bit I should book yourself a nice spa weekend when they decide to tackle the trees.
Batman our biggest cat doesn't launch himself at us often (fortunately!) but if he jumps off a windowsill upstairs the whole house shakes - he's a big boy!
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