Mrs, Miss or Ms

In Scotland there is no need to use deed poll to change your name. It is legal simply to notify everyone relevant and, perhaps, publish a notice in the newspaper.
As long as there is no intention to defraud or suchlike, all is fine.

Leticia did you mean that militant feminists have told you that you should be Ms or else you are a disgrace to womanhood?
If so, of course they have no right to tell you that.
If not, where did you get the idea?

That is what I was told. I was told that it wasn't a personal choice and I had to have Ms in support of all women- which is why I started this thread.
I think it is personal choice and people should respect it- not coerce me to their way of thinking.

All my sons call their bosses by their first name at work, Ana, in 3 very different fields and always have. As a teacher I called the Head Teachers by their first name.

Inequality bugs me more than the title. I call my hairdresser Sarah and she calls me Leticia. It would be wrong for me to use Sarah and insist on Mrs for me.

If you are French, you are Mlle until your twenties or so, and them Mme. Marital status has nothing to do with it. Similarly in Germany, young women are Fraulein, maturity brings you the name of Frau.
This once used to be the case in this country too, Miss was a young girl (or a prostitute) and all grown women were called Mistress, abbreviated Mrs.
I am divorced, but see no reason to use an invented title.

Actually that isn't entirely true. I know a few older unmarried women here in France who insist on being called Mlle.
I became a feminist in the early seventies, but had been Mrs for a few years by then so never bothered to change. I have never experienced any kind of dogmatic attitude about Mrs / Ms. I also stuck with my married name out of habit and was quite surprised to find that my maiden name was used so frequently here in France as I had almost forgotten it by the time we moved here. I do like the use of Monsieur, Madame though.
For surnames I like the Spanish way, where married women keep their original names and the children have father's first surname followed by mother's first surname. Seems to work fine.

Cari isn't it the point of Ms that you don't need to explain why you use it? It's not just for divorcees, or people who don't want to be Miss, or even just for radical feminists . It's (stating the obvious here) for any woman who thinks her marital status does not need to be announced by her title.

So no explanations necessary and certainly no need to duck!!!!

Well,it seems not everyone feels hostility toward me,thank you for that.
The ones that called me smug,not a nice thing to be,I hope I'm not that.
Proud of my friends and family,yes. I know it hasn't been all ups for any of us.When I see so many broken families.
Complacency,never,"there but the grace of "ect.
Leticia,call your self what you like.Whats in a name? Everything apparently,Ever tried searching your family tree.

I'm a Ms now I'm divorced but I don't object to letters addressed to Mrs. The only one I'm not happy with is a company who still address me as "Mr and Mrs". The change of surname question is interesting, specially now there are more possibilities. A young male friend took his husband's name when he married.

I'll try to remember to ask my lesbian friends what they prefer for titles. Including one complicated household where one of the (four) members is a Mx.

Hey Cari Gransnet - welcome to this discussion, particularly given the views you express.

Nightown - many thanks for stating the obvious at 10.09 this morning. It's been stated a number of times on this thread but somehow the thread keeps meandering back to the notion that those Ms 's amongst us are the dreaded, terrifying, life changing Radical Feminists. Or maybe even a Monstrous Regiment of Wimin

So presumably the only reason for people to have titles at all is to differentiate between the sexes?

(for official forms and applications etc., I mean)

Just to put a spanner in the works.....I am married but use my maiden name. I always have despite being married before. I was cabin crew for years and could not be bothered to send my passport away for a name change in between flights. After my divorce I adopted 3 children (on my own) and they took on my name. I tend to use Ms as I am not my mother and I am not single. One of my children ended up at the same school as one of DH children. The ex had remarried and had taken on her husbands name......keeping up????... so it would have meant I had the same name as stepchild but not my child. All amicable and no child or any one in the extended family had a problem with this.

Tangled web and all that

I don't mind what I am called Mrs Ms Miss. My dh could not care less. And now, as most of our children are married, we all have different names anyway. Phew!

I should make the effort to use his name but the thought of changing everything is too much.

Do Women only have three choices; Mrs, Ms and Miss? I personally do not know anyone who calls themselves Miss anymore. I do however, know Women who use the term Ms. when called on to use a title, and many who like to call themselves by their married title of Mrs. However, although married, If I'm using any title at all, I prefer to use my title of Dr.

I do research my family tree - does that have something to do with it?

themoll you say :
I should make the effort to use his name but the thought of changing everything is too much.

Why should you do that, if everything is fine?
I wonder if any of your relatives (including your DH) are telling themselves they should make an effort to change their name to someone else's, perhaps to yours.

Leticia,I'm trying to research my family tree,I find it complicated.Do you use one of the online genealogy sites? If so which one,and do you recommend it?
Thank you.

hello FarNorth - I hear what you are saying but everything is fine thank you and to be honest its not really important to us. Why would any other relatives change their name to mine? Aunts, Uncles nieces and nephews are ok as they are. Quite happy with their own names.

I just wanted to point out that there are often reasons why names and titles can be complicated.

Ms. I do not use my husband's name nor is my second name my father's name.
It is my mother's given name. It is important to me!
Sounding a bit militant feminist now!

I would recommend either Find My Past or Ancestry, MarMark1
It is easier to follow if people follow traditional naming patterns- just in that you know what you can most likely expect.

Also only use Ms if anyone asks for a title other wise I just say my name.

I am not proud to be married. I am very happy to be with my DH. He is not marked as my DH by the title of mister.
My DD1 chooses to be Mrs, other DD uses Miss and her DDs take her (& her father's /my DH) second name. Genealogist nightmare ��

I expect that when people are choosing names they have no interest in helping their descendants 200 yrs in the future!