The Swede that wouldn't die!

And here's me thinking you had just done in a Scandnavian person!

Ooh err, phoenix
I'd like to make a witty retort but I'm just left puzzled

Perhaps it's really a mangleworzle?

Yes, roses, I thought this was going to be about a Swedish person with extraordinary survival powers!

The Rasputin of turnips! respect!

Sorry to disappoint! This is a quiet Devon village, we don't go around boiling and mashing foreigners!

Why not? You have to make your own entertainment in the country

In the good old days when I used to buy swede to put in our pasties I nearly amputated several fingers trying to hack the skin off. I usually ended up chopping them up and giving them to the goats!

Deeda I top and tail them, then slice, then peel. Far too much hassle to try and peel them whole!

That's how I do them phoenix. I have encountered rather unforgiving swedes in my time, but the one you have is exceptional. I only hope it tastes good after all the cooking it has had.

October SW magazine: 'The Singing Swede' is a no mash recipe. Take one medium swede (no need to peel, chop or prick) and microwave on high for 15-25 minutes, turning half way. It will whistle as it cooks!
Cut off top and scoop out mash!

That could revolutionise swede cooking Elrel! Too late for this week, but worth bearing in mind!

You still cook swede?! You can buy it ready mashed you know. Or just ready chopped if you feel the need to cook.

That is how I did swede for twelve (or was it 14?) at the Burns Lunch some of us Scottish gransnetters held. It was magic! You do need to mash it a bit, though and add some butter as you do.

It was two swedes, one after the other, and I think it was glassortwo who did the actual mashing, so she is the one to tell you how much effort it was. There was certainly no peeling or chopping. It doesn't work with small turnips though - they burn.

The other magic on that day was the frozen mash - three cheers for Auntie Bessie.

You would burn your fingers scooping it out if you used Elred's way. Or have to eat it cold. Don't go there. I don't believe it anyway.

Surely you'd use a spoon to scoop it out...

Yes, but you would have to hold it steady.

I love swede! All soft and buttery and mashed to perfection! Bliss!

A foreign friend was staggered to see us eating it and said it was cattle food where she came from.

I think you have a rogue swede!

I use to layer sliced sewed with rashers of collar bacon in a saucepan and cook it slowly with some butter. You had to remember to put it on shortly after breakfast.

You hold it in a teatowel, jings, and it does work - come to the next Burns lunch and see. We'll let you do the scooping.

I cook swede in the pressure cooker these days ever since I snapped the masher trying to put a bit more force into my efforts to pulverise the stuff. I get it out the way as early as poss then reheat it in the microwave with an extra knob of butter.

When I was a child my mother used to give me the job of mashing the swede with a fork! I don't remember it being so tough in those days though.

I love swede and I am going to try it Elrels way as I can never peel or cut it.
Hope it doesn't explode in the microwave! (Are you sure you don't have to stick a skewer through it first like you do with potatoes? )

I thought phoenix had done something to Wallander - or that new chap in River!

They seem to vary a lot in toughness I wonder if its down to growing conditions. the last one I cooked was very tough. The other half of it decayed at the bottom of my veg box and went all furry.

jings I've only seen the swede carrot combo ready prepped?

Rosequartz you trim the base a bit to make it stand straight, but you don't pierce it.

I don't pierce potatoes to microwave them either.