I posted on another thread that our meal today would include mashed swede. Reader, I may have inadvertently lied 
As we have a large, late breakfast on a Sunday, we have our main meal around 6pm. I prep my veg in advance, and cook the swede (if we are having it) and put in a dish to heat up in the oven later.
I find it always a bit of a bu**er to chop, but wield my large knife, slice it up then peel and chop it. This one had an odd feel about it, a fact that I mentioned to Mr P.
I set it to boil, and gave it extra time as I had already marked it as a potentially awkward beast. I prodded it with a sharp knife, then topped up the water and left it for another 10 minutes. I prodded it again, topped it up again, and left it again.
Eventually after a considerable amount of time and much electricity, I decided that surely it must be cooked by now, and made a small quantity of vegetable stock to mash it in (NOTE, less calories than butter, and with the addition of plenty of black pepper no one has ever noticed the difference 
)
As Mr P had blotted his copy book by "suddenly" remembering that there was some washing in his suitcase, just after I had finished the last load, I set him on mashing duty.
Mr P is a big strong chap, and well able to wield a masher in such a way that most vegetables quake at his approach.
After a few minutes bashing away, the curses started. That was when I knew, that for the second time in our marriage we had encountered....."The Swede that wouldn't die"!
It was decanted into a dish, covered in cling film and subjected to a severe microwaving. We took it out, lifted the film and set to again.
Still it resisted! Back into the microwave it went, this time on a higher power setting. Confident that we had finally blasted it into submission, we took it out and applied the utensil.
It then went into the food processor 
. This of course caused more washing up. It still looks as if there may be some fight left in it.
I think we might be having dinner without swede.
Gransnet forums
Chat
Ooh err, phoenix 
I'd like to make a witty retort but I'm just left puzzled
Perhaps it's really a mangleworzle?
Yes, roses, I thought this was going to be about a Swedish person with extraordinary survival powers!
Why not? You have to make your own entertainment in the country
In the good old days when I used to buy swede to put in our pasties I nearly amputated several fingers trying to hack the skin off. I usually ended up chopping them up and giving them to the goats!
You still cook swede?! You can buy it ready mashed you know. Or just ready chopped if you feel the need to cook.
Surely you'd use a spoon to scoop it out...
Yes, but you would have to hold it steady.
I love swede and I am going to try it Elrels way as I can never peel or cut it.
Hope it doesn't explode in the microwave! (Are you sure you don't have to stick a skewer through it first like you do with potatoes? 
)
I thought phoenix had done something to Wallander - or that new chap in River!
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »