Ageist 'compliments'

To me it sounds like someone who is remarkably active for their age.

No thanks.

Of course there are those who are just waiting to be offended,sad little things,For me,it's not so much what's said,as how it's said.if I think they are saying it good naturedly I don't take any notice of it.Sarcasim,no no, I don't tolerate that.

Is that your old feller jingl

looks rather like Jimmy Saville!

No. Not mind. Just a random one off the net.

mine not mind

What gets my goat is being called "Dear"! I used to get called "Dear "by my parents and parents-in-law and when I was a young woman, I never thought anything of it.

Now, at 66, I occasionally get called 'Dear' and as I am still working full-time & hold a position of responsibility, I feel being called 'Dear' is patronizing and inappropriate!

Grrr!

It is the 'ah, bless' that really gets me.

And I am in my 60s and I am not elderly.

Is that a pic of Wayne Sleep?

One of my Grandma's used to say proudly 'I am eighty two years young!'

I always thought it sounded naff.

I don't think it's being churlish or unduly grumpy to dislike some of the examples described.

As a 65 year old woman, I would feel rather humiliated if a waiter/waitress said to me, "What can I get for you today, young lady?" I also think the "she's 75 years young" thing is patronising and silly.

In fact I think most of the examples given are irritating and encourage older people to see themselves as in physical and intellectual decline and to reinforce the idea that such a decline is inevitable.

I don't mind being called pet, love, darling, sweetheart, etc., or being addressed by my first name - but I don't see why such a big thing should be made of a person's age.

Our new middle aged dentist refers to me as this young lady. It makes my flesh creep for some reason. The previous one was a woman who looked too young to retire.

Oh God! You couldn't really use a put-down on your dentist could you. Too risky.

I don't think there should be birthday cards with landmark ages on them after 30! I am sixty this year and I certainly don't want to be reminded of it.

I thought the article was amusing, and not meant to be taken as serious 'political correctness'. I wouldn't be too bothered by any of the remarks (life's too short) but, for some reason, I do hate to be called 'lovie' or 'dear' by young women who may be doing my nails or serving me in a cafe. That is condescending to anyone actually, now I think of it, no matter what age you may be.

Any ageist remarks I respond with I would never want to go back to any younger age. Each decade gets better and better, except for aches and pains, but this is compensated for by all the knowledge and experience that you gain from growing older.

Recently I was stuck in and ePassport queue late at night at Gatwick. It was heaving and full of young people coming off package holiday flights and though not drunk had definitely had a few. When I remonstrated with one little charmer for queue jumping he said well at least we've got longer to live. to which I replied well maybe you will learn something along the way. That shut him up.

I detest the "Ah bless" thing whoever it refers to. I think it's lazy and irritating.

Very few of the examples given particularly bother me. I agree the '75 years young' one is patronising (unless talking about yourself ). I noticed a comment about someone's DH being addressed as 'babe' by a waitress. Yes, that is probably inappropriate, though not offensive, just rather amusing.
But I found myself thinking, if I were a waitress and I couldn't address my customers as 'dear' or 'young lady/man' in case it was patronising, and I couldn't say 'babe' because it was inappropriate, and I couldn't say 'love' or 'pet' or 'sweetheart' in case they found it offensive, then I might feel as if I were suppressing my natural friendly approach, which would in turn prevent my engaging with the customers in any 'real' way.
We all tend to hate the kind of scripted conversations common with faceless call centres, and I fear that if this so called 'ageist language' is promoted as offensive and people we meet in bars, restaurants, cafes, shops etc. are trained not to use it, our lives will just become even more sterile and sanitised.

It's annoying that people don't have fresh water, that government's don't listen to their people, that are wars driving people from their own country. A flippant comment annoying? Get real lol

Up north, where I live, terms of endearment are used frequently in shops and so on. Pet, sweetheart, darling is common in our Morrison's. Be on your guard though, if you are a male, and someone calls you "bonny lad" because it is usually a forerunner to an altercation as in " did you just spill my pint ? bonny lad"

indinana you're right about the waitress' dilemma of how to address customers.
At one time it was simple - customers were always sir or madam.
Presumably that would now be considered elitist, though it's common to be addressed as sir or ma'am in the US.
I quite like being called madam.

harrigran

It depends on the context. I play in a string group which, because we rehearse on a weekday afternoon mainly consists of elderly, retired people. Some are much older then me - in their 80s or even 90s. When i pass some of the old men a cup of tea in the break some say 'thank you young lady' with a twinkle in their eye and I quite like it as I am one of the younger ones at 71! Some of them cant walk without sticks/zimmer frame and i feel quite sprightly! But people my age or younger who say it are quite annoying as its obviously false flattery.

In Germany I am always called Frau B. where as my daughters would be addressed in the familiar form. I don't mind that at all. After all I am older than they are. What I find annoying is being treated as if I was a kindergarten child and my answer when I'm dealing with young Computer people is to tell them I was surfing on the internet in the last century (1998). That shuts them up.