The Gransnet Olympics !

That radioactive axle grease has done for mine. They're looking shocking, all 12 of them.

Hang on a minute.....

don't touch me .....

P'raps no one will notice if you keep your fingers crossed Maggie

Anyone know how our Christmas jumper knitting squad are getting on? I understand the Mongolian team have been disqualified for using yak's wool. ?

The yaks are none too pleased either.

Or should it be neither ?

I think with the extra fingers I might be a useful addition to the knitting squad.

I should try for the 'Cat's Cradle making' event, Maggie

I tried to get into the cat's cradle team but kept dropping the string on the change over.

I am so upset, I was disqualified from the 100 metres breast stroke because I had mega problems getting on to the platform (did not make it) and they would not allow me to jump in from the floor. No allowances are made for the less able on dry land. I am a whiz in water if I ever get there.

Shame nobody told you about the platform shoes Charleygirl that was clearly gamesmanship!

An hour's training a week for 4 years has gone to pot. I will be on the first plane home, provided I do not pick up the Zika (sp) virus en route. I am a few weeks pregnant so I cannot be too careful at my age.

I was going to enter the breast stroke, but I misunderstood the event.

They used to have a euphemism for that, 'sprained her ankle' I think it was. P'raps it was just as well you didn't find the platform shoes then, eh?

GandTea you are going to get yourself a reputation, not sure what for but we will think of something ?

I think I've just won gold in the 10 metre dash with legs crossed after reading this thread!

GandTea I really think that you should be disqualified from all swimming events. especially the mixed breast stroke 100 metres. You do not understand the rules.

Mixed breasts, is that one D cup and one B cup ?

Luckily (for me) it was a while before I realise my misunderstanding.

Get a reputation ??? thought I already had one.

BTW, I only enter the drowning events

Having read this thread perhaps there should be a leg crossing while wiping the tears from the eyes event. I'd do well in that one. Best laugh I've had in ages. OH and DS watching Olympics and wondering why I'm laughing hysterically giggling in the corner.

Time for bed and some practice for the breast grope stroke event.

I hope Mrs P is a very understanding lady!

If there was a medal for adjusting your underwear Rafel Nadel would get the gold - can't he get underpants to fit properly?

GandTea you can have as much practice as you want for the mixed breast stroke but please let me explain what it means. We ladies swim faster than you lot so hence the word "mixed". To stop any hanky panky, the men will be at one side of the pool, you will be in either lane 8 or 1 at the poolside as you are high risk and there will be two empty lanes in the centre so that no man drifts into a female lane. Mrs.P has agreed to act as an extra judge at the poolside to make sure that men do not drift out of their lanes.

Just awarded myself the Gold Medal for almost succeeding in stopping my 5 and 3 year old grandsons from knocking 7 bells out of each other. Most of the time they play reasonably well.

I hear our Morris Dancing Team are doing well, however most of the other countries think we are quite mad when executing some of the dance moves. It is all the little bells ringing that can be so annoying.

Liaise I see you got a silver medal in sherry drinking, hope you have recovered and not got too bad a headache.

GandTea there seems a bit too much breast stroking going on from my perspective, it is a family Olympics you know.

Tizliz Rafa Nadal can do no wrong in my eyes. Even if he fiddles too much.

Well only a few more days to go. Keep up the hard work, remember you are representing the very best of Gransnetters so let's add a few more medals to our already excellent tally.