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Sugar daddies

(42 Posts)
BlueBelle Mon 19-Sep-16 07:55:52

Having just watched on morning tv while eating my breakfast a piece about Sugar Daddies something I had come across before but brought it back to my attention
Basically it's used by mainly students which involves them being kept or paid through university in return for either their company or their favours by richer men
I m not being particularly biased against this but the two girls and the man interviewed all insisted it wasn't protitution but I m blowed if I can see the differences
What do you think ?

Iam64 Mon 19-Sep-16 08:14:23

Didn't see the programme. Hate the idea of anyone being involved in a sexual relationship because it provides them with cash (except Lilian in the Archers.....)

ninathenana Mon 19-Sep-16 08:18:51

It's definitely a fine line Bluebelle

Alima Mon 19-Sep-16 09:03:12

I didn't see the programme either but from what you say it is a bit dodgy. Have often thought the same of the middle aged/old men who bag themselves a Thai or Eastern young girl as a bride. I suppose the same could be said of anyone who marries Bernie Eccilstone (sp).

BlueBelle Mon 19-Sep-16 09:36:02

Haha Alima like the Bernie bit
It was just these young girls who saw it as a great way of getting through uni had NO idea why it should be considered prostitution because basically they choose to do it and aren't pushed by a pimp or a madam or owner of an escort business The well spoken ' rich' man who used the site and was in an open marriage implying his wife did similar but obviously wasn't proud enough of it to have his face shown Is paying £1000 a month to have a sexual relationship with a young girl

Although they are consenting adults they are young and obviously swayed by money. ( isn't that prostitution by another name ) and I would have thought open to abuse

Ilrina Mon 19-Sep-16 09:54:44

I didn't see the programme, but then I don't watch tele. Sex in exchange for money. Sounds like prostitution to me!, and yes I agree with BlueBelle about it being open to abuse. I also don't get these " Open" marriages, kind of contradictory to the vows wouldn't you think?

trisher Mon 19-Sep-16 10:10:47

Sounds like prostitution to me, but I suppose they could argue they follow a long tradition of courtesans who catered for rich men. I do wonder what mummy and daddy think their daughter is doing to pay her way through Uni-stacking shelves in Lidl?

harrigran Mon 19-Sep-16 10:19:47

I saw a documentary about this subject, it is prostitution but because they are mainly middle class girls they prefer to call it working their way through college hmm

miep Mon 19-Sep-16 12:44:06

'harrigran', you said it! They are 'working girls'!

BlueBelle Mon 19-Sep-16 12:45:09

Trisher according to one girl ( there were two interviewed) her mother and father knew about it and were perfectly happy with the situation, of course we only have her word for it As a parent I would be terrified they would meet someone horrid and not be safe

Harrigran I think you are right if it's done by well spoken young ladies it's not prostitution I just found it so unbelievable that none of them the girls or the man could see it for what it was selling themselves, whether it was for company or sex

goose1964 Mon 19-Sep-16 13:09:03

There's a term for it, light hooking. You don't get paid cash for sex but get paid in kind

M0nica Mon 19-Sep-16 13:11:07

Prostitution is being paid to have sex with someone. What is difficult to understand about that.

The question to ask the participants is, would (the girls) be prepared to sleep with this man if he wasn't paying them, in other words, would they be happy to be in a committed relationship with him instead of him paying them for sex? For the men, would they be prepared to have a proper committed relationship with the girl as an alternative to paying her?

I am pretty sure I know what the answers would be - and that makes what they are doing prostitution.

gillybob Mon 19-Sep-16 13:24:37

You do see it a fair bit don't you? Young beautiful (model type) married to wrinkly, old, rich man.

What on earth did she see in him? grin

trisher Mon 19-Sep-16 13:35:51

If he is a 'serial marrier" (don't think that's a real term but you know what I mean) does that make it better? Thinking Murdoch and Hall.

Wobblybits Mon 19-Sep-16 13:55:59

So often you see older men with young attractive women on their arms, and I think, what does she see in him, ah yes he is rich hmm. One in particular springs to mind, but I would be silly to name names. Am I jealous ---- I'll think about that one.

lizzypopbottle Mon 19-Sep-16 14:38:40

Apparently, what attracts people to a potential partner is different for men and women, generally speaking. In primitive terms, men are attracted, subconsciously, to younger women with symmetrical faces and wide hips because these features i.e. youth and beauty, indicate natural health and fitness to reproduce. Women are attracted to marry men they see, subconsciously, as good providers for their children so money and power often negate the craggy appearance of some older men. There's evidence that suggests women often choose one type of man to marry and a different type to father their children!

www.theguardian.com/society/2005/aug/11/childrensservices.uknews

Elegran Mon 19-Sep-16 15:09:46

And a third type to provide them with a comfortable lifestyle and finance their further education in exchange for sex? It still sounds like prostitution to me.

Nannanoo Mon 19-Sep-16 15:15:10

How can it possibly be prostitution if you're a nicely spoken, middle-class girl? Really! grin

VIOLETTE Mon 19-Sep-16 15:24:44

As Caroline Ahern said when interviewing Debbie about her marriage ....tell me, what was it that attracted you to the balding, middle aged MILLIONAIRE ....?

Say no more ....but at least they did get married. I wonder how many balding, middle aged men on benefits attract a 20 something .......?

lizzypopbottle Mon 19-Sep-16 15:33:06

Certainly, the old fashioned idea of the 'kept woman' was disapproved of as just another form of prostitution, just not selling to multiple punters on the street. I've often heard of women within marriage using sex to get things bought for them and, in the days when women gave up work when they married, they were kept, financially, by their husbands. The husband got sex (and housekeeping of course). That's a kind of trade, isn't it?

I suppose more recent generations see sex simply as an activity rather than putting it on a pedestal. (Does that sound bit athletic? 😀) Perhaps it's just a sign of the times. Attitudes began to change with the advent of the pill. Saving yourself for marriage was, after all, the surest form of contraception. Now here we are with rampant STIs and one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in the developed world! Sex isn't special. That's progress....apparently.

Elegran Mon 19-Sep-16 15:35:16

Indeed, Nannanoo, and what pleasure could a rich middle-aged or older man possibly find in spending his money on a young, intelligent girl who is willing to go to bed with him in exchange for access to his credit card, with no hanging round dodgy houses of ill repute and hoping he won't get his pocket picked or find he has gone home with more than he thought he was buying.

Wonder what the same girls would say if their own father was emptying his bank account on some gold-digger?

Sheilasue Mon 19-Sep-16 16:41:53

Well maybe if they got a decent grant they wouldn't have to do it.

Elegran Mon 19-Sep-16 16:47:10

Maybe if they some decent respect for themselves they wouldn't do it.

trisher Mon 19-Sep-16 16:56:33

I'm still wondering if I would have done anything like this if I hadn't had a grant when I was at college. I'd like to say a definite 'no' but if the bloke wasn't too bad I'm not sure. I did some shitty jobs in the holidays that I would have been pleased to walk away from.

grandMattie Mon 19-Sep-16 17:13:56

A very vexing situation. If the girl feels happy and at ease with what she does, and if she doesn't do it for many men, is it being a "mistress" or "courtesan"? arm candy? who knows?
I saw an interview of a girl and her mother, the mum was perfectly happy with the situation...
I'm not sure I would have done it, or perhaps if all was needed was company - if being a hot-water bottle was involved, I think I would have not done it. I was fortunate that my parents could afford my fees, etc...