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Granny's nightmare

(55 Posts)
DaphneBroon Mon 21-Nov-16 23:23:45

Twas the month before Christmas
And throughout the land
We've started our shopping
With help from broadband
The toys come from Argos, the clothes from JL
Cos shopping in person
Is the Ninth circle of Hell
There's a jumper for DH, for SIL, gin
But where should they leave it
If I am not in?
I sit up with Amazon ordering books
For cyclists and sports fans
And children and cooks.
My cash card is tingling, the urge is still there
Without M&S or Ocado
I haven't a prayer.
In the shops like those jingle bells
The cash tills will ring
But here by the fire I am spared all that thing
Of jostling and crowds and nowhere to park
Then driving back home in the cold and the dark.
I love Christmas shopping, the spirit is here
And as I'm not driving, don't stint with the cheer.winewine
But where would I be - I would weep I would frown
If my nightmare should happen
My wi-if was down? 😱😱😱

phoenix Mon 21-Nov-16 23:28:50

Book tokens, HTH grin

ninathenana Mon 21-Nov-16 23:52:08

Well done Daphne

Bellanonna Tue 22-Nov-16 00:06:00

Excellent !

Pippa000 Tue 22-Nov-16 05:59:49

Love it grin

Jane10 Tue 22-Nov-16 06:11:14

GN poet laureate?!

Alima Tue 22-Nov-16 06:32:01

Brilliant poem Daphne, I can tell it comes from the heart! (Never fear, if your wifi were up the creek there's always a secure hot spot somewhere. Nothing can stop the need to shop!)

Anya Tue 22-Nov-16 07:07:19

Nice one Daphne

kittylester Tue 22-Nov-16 07:22:55

Brilliant, Db!

cornergran Tue 22-Nov-16 07:28:14

Happy shopping, daphne. Brilliant poem.

Izabella Tue 22-Nov-16 08:24:03

Lovely. ☃

Christinefrance Tue 22-Nov-16 08:27:53

Love it Daphne and so true.

NanaandGrampy Tue 22-Nov-16 08:33:52

Love it !!!

shysal Tue 22-Nov-16 08:49:39

Love it. I did all my shopping on line in an hour one day last week.

DaphneBroon Tue 22-Nov-16 08:57:33

Way to go shysal!! smile

Charleygirl Tue 22-Nov-16 09:09:59

Very good and very apt.

jacqui67 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:19:18

Love this made me smile

radicalnan Tue 22-Nov-16 10:21:58

Brilliant.

GandT Tue 22-Nov-16 10:24:05

Wonderful poem. Doing exactly the same kind of xmas shopping except visiting JL in person for free coffee & cake. cupcake

Omaoma57 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:26:57

Thank you Daphne, made me really giggle....xxx

cheneslieges132 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:34:13

Dear DaphneBroon - What a brilliant poem! Can I copy and paste it onto Facebook? My friends would love this - so very talented!!

Nanevon Tue 22-Nov-16 10:48:52

That's brilliant!! Me too. Well done.

Greyduster Tue 22-Nov-16 10:52:09

Excellent - wish I could write poetry!

Kim19 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:58:28

Nomdeplume suggests, of course, you're Scottish. Please tell me this is so. What with your poem and Matthew Wright my day is off to an absolute flyer. Thank you so much. Talent will out!

Yorkshiregel Tue 22-Nov-16 11:29:52

Great poem DaphneBroon. Best way to shop I think.