Gransnet forums


What's in a name

(51 Posts)
Llamedos13 Wed 07-Dec-16 12:54:01

My sil finds it impossible to call me by my name, we get along great and I have asked him often to use my name but he says he simply cannot call me by name, possibly due to his upbringing where he was always made to call adults Mr or Mrs.Now that I am a granny to my dd and his grandson he calls me granny.Just wondering if any of you out there have the same issue.

Gagagran Wed 07-Dec-16 13:17:35

Yes I do! But it's my DS and DD who call me Granny - inlaws call me by my name!I don't mind at all.grin

ginny Wed 07-Dec-16 13:24:54

My Soms in law call me by my name with no problem. I however have never felt comfortable calling my MIL by her name and could never call her Mum.

sunseeker Wed 07-Dec-16 13:28:45

I always had problems with what to call my mother-in-law, she was a lovely lady but I couldn't bring myself to call her by her name and certainly would never call her Mum. Thinking about it I never actually used a name for her!!

hildajenniJ Wed 07-Dec-16 14:10:18

My mother-in-law used to be my boss before I married her son. I never knew what to call her either. I didn't feel comfortable calling her mum and I certainly couldn't call her by her name.😲 When the children cane along I called her grandma. My son-in-law calls me by my name, I asked him to.

jusnoneed Wed 07-Dec-16 14:22:41

I have been fortunate enough to of had two lovely mother-in-laws. My first, a 4'10" whirlwind from Yorkshire lol, I used to call Mam (she told my ex it made her day the first time I used it). My second, a lovely Welsh lady, I called Mum.
Mam was never called by her given name, everyone else used her nickname.
I don't remember my ex dil using my name, and the current dil we don't see but I suspect she would use my name.

PamSJ1 Thu 08-Dec-16 09:50:44

For some reason I have always found it difficult to call my MIL by her first name and although we get on it has never seemed right to call her mum. As my DH died recently this us the first Christmas I have boroughs her a card just from myself. I found myself standing in the shop unable to decide what to get! In the end I did get a mum one, although I always got a Mam one from the two of us. That just felt too much. I had the same problem getting other cards. Used to get brother and wife or family ones so eventually got to all the family.

Meriel Thu 08-Dec-16 09:52:26

My sil calls me Mil or Millie. Stands for Mother In Law (MIL).

maryhoffman37 Thu 08-Dec-16 09:57:12

I called my in-laws by their first names and now my sons-in-law call me by mine. No problem. My three Ds call me Mummy or by my family pet name.

goose1964 Thu 08-Dec-16 10:03:43

I call my parent in-laws by their first name & my children in law do the same

ajanela Thu 08-Dec-16 10:19:09

I had a problem calling my In laws by their christian names and never Mum or Dad or similar so when I did have to speak to or about them I said Mr and Mrs surname. As this was in Portugal it didn't sound so bad. In Portugal you often refer to people older than you as Senhor or Donna followed by their Christian name e.g. Donna Isabel or Senhor Carlos. This is respectful and more familiar.

My husband always called my father by his christian name (he never met my mother as she died)

I think this reflects my age and personality as I was a health visitor and I could never refer to a doctors by their Christian names. I was a very young health visitor having qualified by 23 when I was Mrs ...... even by the elderly, but when I retired at 63 all the mums called me by my christian name, which was not a problem as they were always very respectful in their manner and we had a good relationship.

BBbevan Thu 08-Dec-16 10:30:57

I called my MiL ,Mum and my mother was Mam My children also called her Mam which caused some raised eyebrows from people when she took the GDs out

michellehargreaves Thu 08-Dec-16 10:37:38

My husband always called my parents by their first names and my children's spouses call us by our first names. However, for the first 7 years of my marriage, I, and my sisters and brothers in law called our mother in law, Mrs Hargreaves! She never gave us the option of anything else! One day, the eldest daughter in law (not me) broke ranks and called her "Mother"....we all called her Mother after that. It seems so ridiculously old fashioned now!

carolmary Thu 08-Dec-16 10:38:23

Times change don't they. My sister's late husband always called my mother "Mil" or "Millie" too and I always thought that sounded rather nice. However my sister's DIL and my SILs have always called us by our Christian names as that is how they we were introduced to each other in the first place. My sister who was married in 1953 always called her MIL "Mrs ..." as in those days one would not dream of addressing an older woman by her first name. I'm 13 years younger than she is, and all my daughters' friends have always called me by my first name. Going off at a tangent, don't yiou get annoyed when cold callers on the 'phone address you by your first name. I do and usually tell them off!

Christinefrance Thu 08-Dec-16 10:39:18

Everyone related to me by marriage calls me by my first name, avoids difficulties I think. One step grandson does call me Nanny 2 .
I did however have a problem on meeting my birth mother when I was in my forties. I could never call her Mum or Mother so used her first name.

silverlining48 Thu 08-Dec-16 10:43:09

my 2 sons in law call us by our names, but i didnt feel comfortable using my in laws names as it seemed impolite. i do recall calling them mr and mrs but that seemed strange too so after a while i avoided referring to them by any name, sort of waiting to catch their eye, which was awkward at times. my husband called my mum mother, they were very fond of each other.

adaunas Thu 08-Dec-16 10:46:43

One SIL calls me by my name, the other calls me Madre-Spanish for mother I think. Both were offered my name. My MIL said, before our wedding, that we could sort out what to call her when we were married. She never did and I never called her anything except Nana once we had children. I called my FIL by his nickname. My husband called my parents Mum and Dad from the start.

Swanny Thu 08-Dec-16 11:06:17

I found it difficult at first to call my MIL anything, so used the 'catching her eye' method. I met her before meeting her son and we'd been introduced by first names. It seemed disrespectful to call her that after we were married but when her son and I divorced it was easy to go back to first names. She never said she objected, in fact used several variations of her name with people she'd known at different times in her life grin

LouLou21 Thu 08-Dec-16 11:09:38

My SIL accidentally called me Dolly when I first knew him and that's what he always calls me. My name is Carol so no connection whatsoever and now my daughter tells me that if the baby they are expecting is a girl they will call her Dolly too.

handmadedogsweaters Thu 08-Dec-16 11:43:55

I would rather not say what my SIL calls me and the feeling is mutual.shock

inishowen Thu 08-Dec-16 11:50:10

My son in law calls me by name and I'm happy with that. My daughter in law calls me nothing! I was in her kitchen recently and she used my name for the first time after five years. I blame myself for never telling her what to call me, and now it's too late to raise the subject.

Alima Thu 08-Dec-16 11:52:02

Only had a MIL for a few years and don't think I called her anything. DD's partner calls me my Christian name. Rather with he wouldn't as he usually comes across sneery. The moron when around didn't call us anything.

JackyB Thu 08-Dec-16 12:11:52

My husband was a teacher and one son has married one of his ex-pupils. Fortunately, however, there has never been any problem with her calling him by his first name. Ditto at Church - he is now on a level with so many ex-pupils, but they have all overcome the embarrassment of calling him by his first name, which in Germany, is even more of a hurdle than in the UK.

I don't care what people call me. But I am rather embarrassed to broach the subject.

Teetime Thu 08-Dec-16 12:12:13

One SIL calls me by my name and the other calls me 'your Mum'. Used to call my MIL 'your Mum' and my FIL Dad that summed up our relationship!

nipsmum Thu 08-Dec-16 12:22:20

My 2 sons in law call me gran which is what the children call me. At least that's when I'm there.