Empathy

Generally yes.
Do you Penstemmon ?

Sometimes I do then other times I really want people to get a grip. Bit low on tolerance my husband says.

Well on a 1-1 personal level I occasionallyI fee a bit guillable as I always try to look for the good in people and maybe over empathise sometimes. E.G. if someone is rude/angry etc I try to understand why etc. But I prefer that way tha n always believing the worst of people or reacting negatively and then finding the reason for their behaviour is a result of somethig dreadful.

In the bigger context I do work hard to see things from others' perspectives but even when I understand their position I might still disagree with their behaviours and attitudes. I am a bit of a softy really!

Empathy, empathy. They've all got it empathy.

A much overused word these days.

Are you confusing empathy with sympathy? If you can empathise with a person and understand them then you can also form a opinion that they should 'get a grip' as you say.

What you are lacking is sympathy. You don't feel sorry for them. Empathy is the abilty to understand another person, to accept where he/she is coming from (to use the jargon).
What you then do depends on your experience and knowledge of their personal situation.

Some people are to blame fo their own messed up lives

When someone is in a situation that I have experienced myself, yes, I can emphasise. Otherwise it is sympathy.

Merlot the best line from Carry On Cleo,' Infamy! Infamy! they've all got it in for me!'
Empathy and sympathy do get mixed up.

Like Anya, I find it easier to empathise with someone if I've experienced what they're going through. But I sympathise with someone who, for example, is going through awful financial difficulties, and is struggling to find a way through. Good question though, it's got me thinking.

So.... is it empathy or sympathy that we feel when we see refugees, homelessness or tragedies unfolding on our screens? I haven't experienced any of these but I know that I feel bad for them. Which is it, sympathy or empathy?

I can empathise with how a person may be feeling.
I dont often give sympathy
I find sympathy can be most unhelpful.

Feeling sympathy....isn't the same as 'giving' sympathy. How can you give sympathy??

I don't know, but I can feel the pain of someone who may be on the television and has lost a child, is a very young refugee fleeing horrors.

I can't give them sympathy, I don't know them but I can imagine what they are going through.

Is that empathy?

Exactly Jalima . I only know that, when I see a young child who is suffering, for example, it tears my heart in two. But it seems wrong, patronising almost, to say "I sympathise with you". So is it empathy that's felt?

Well you can give a sympathy card
Anya
People often say you have my sympathy.

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Well, I can't truly understand, I suppose, if I haven't been through the same pain but I can imagine what it must have been like.

I thought empathy was being able to stand in another's shoes and to experience pain or horror etc as they might have done so that it's about use of imagination and seeing things from their perspective.
Sympathy is surely offering kindness, reassurance or recognition of the other's difficulties without necessarily identifying with them.

Christinefrance "Sometimes I do then other times I really want people to get a grip."

Precisely. Some people have a larger sense of entitlement than I can stomach.

I think there is tendency these days to use the word empathetic as if it means you, in a kind of generally personal way, are more sensitive and understanding than if you are merely sympathetic. The words do have different but related meanings that have become somewhat blurred. I think sympathy has also become confused with pity.

I've had some personal experience of trauma and loss, which I believe help me empathise with others with similar experiences.

Therapists and others who work closely with individuals who have suffered significant trauma have to manage their own feelings. if they can't do this whilst working empathetically, I'm not convinced they can effectively help their 'clients/patients' begin to process their own experiences.

Empathy isn't sympathy.

Empathy ....I understand your pain
Sympathy ....I am sorry you feel your pain

have I got that right?is how I have understood and used the words

Yes, I've heard that phrase too often Cherrytree, it's a bit like 'I'm sorry for your loss'. It's is expressing sympathy in a situation where words aren't enough.

Iam while counsellors, etc, may have to control their own feeling during sessions, they all must have a fellow counsellor to help debrief them and talk about their reactions to such situations. It's part of their job description. Otherwise as you recognise this could be too much for them.

Yes Anya, clinical supervision an essential component for any therapist.

Indeed.

If they are reachable...a Hug...if not...a prayer!!