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What to eat

(56 Posts)
Sar53 Mon 13-Feb-17 11:04:48

I have been with my OH for 9 years, love him to pieces, but the one thing on which we don't agree, and have the most 'words' over is what to eat.
He is very much a meat and two veg man, and everything has to have gravy. If I make a Shepherds Pie it has to be swimming in gravy, Lasagne cannot be dry. He will eat pasta occasionally under duress, only really likes red meat, will sometimes have chicken. He likes fish but it has to have a sauce.
I eat very little meat so often make him a meal and I have a jacket potato, which he won't eat. He is not a great lover of rice either.
I really struggle with what to give him each day and it is mainly chops, lamb and pork, lasagna, casserole. He likes offal, liver, hearts, kidneys, I cannot stand the smell let alone cook them.
He expects me to cook as I am at home and he is still working but I get so fed up with thinking of something different.
Does anyone else live with someone who is so set in his ways when it comes to food and does anyone have some ideas of different things I could cook.
I should say I used to cook and bake when my girls were at home, many moons ago, but I lived on my own for some time and got out of the habit. I don't enjoy it anymore but needs must.

GillT57 Mon 13-Feb-17 11:07:07

Do what my DM did, and buy M & S Liver and Bacon for Dad to save retching as she handled liver!

Riverwalk Mon 13-Feb-17 11:16:34

You could make and freeze mini pots of gravy and sauces, that way you can both eat the same meal and he can douse his plate as he sees fit.

I know this a foodie thread and I want to keep it 'light' but he sounds like a pain. Even if you're at home and he's at work, it's a chore to be the one who is planning and cooking all meals. Made even worse that he then complains and you 'have words'!

harrigran Mon 13-Feb-17 11:17:55

He would get seven ready meals from the supermarket to heat in the microwave. There is no joy in cooking for fussy eaters.

tanith Mon 13-Feb-17 11:45:52

You have full sympathy from one who's DH doesn't eat anything spicy no pasta or rice dishes, doesn't eat veg apart from carrots and peas, likes potatoes any which way thankfully.
So its pies, sausages,stews his with just meat potatoes carrots, onions and gravy, cook lots of veg separately and add to my stews and some days we cook two meals or he cooks himself something like sausage and mash or pie and mash or chips he cooks himself. A very unhealthy diet.

He is a nightmare if we go out somewhere other than a carvery grin but I love him and I'm used to his ways now. Sorry I don't have much advise other than let him do his own or grin and bear it..wink

JackyB Mon 13-Feb-17 12:08:32

I'm the opposite. I love my meat and my husband moans if we have too much meat. He prefers fish, or just veggies.

Having said that, you could decide on about 10-12 different dishes which you know he likes and rotate them every two weeks, having your baked potato or risotto with a tiny portion of whatever he has. Men don't notice if the same food crops up again and again. And the extra pots of gravy in the freezer is a good idea, too!

sunseeker Mon 13-Feb-17 13:07:37

My late DH used to refuse things like pasta, chilli, rice etc. and heaven forbid that I used garlic in anything. I gradually started introducing these things, after a while he found he enjoyed the different tastes and textures (in fact I used to have to make 2 pots of chilli as he liked his very spicy!).

Sar53 Mon 13-Feb-17 13:17:23

Thank you for your honest replies and kind words.
I forgot to say he will not eat ready meals, oven chips or frozen veg and he is allergic to garlic. An absolute nightmare. I have to check the ingredients on every thing I buy. We went to Barbados last year and everything had garlic in it. I actually felt sorry for him as it spoilt his holiday and therefore mine. The hotel were not very helpful either. If we go out to eat he has to check the ingredients of everything on the menu !!!
The last straw was yesterday when he agreed to have chicken Fajitas for dinner, I bought a kit from the supermarket without checking the ingredients first. It was not until we started cooking that I realised that everything had garlic in it. Bad mood for the rest of the day.

GillT57 Mon 13-Feb-17 13:43:52

Gosh, he sounds like a real fussy pants. Some ready meals are very good, our local butcher makes his own cottage pies, beef bourgignon etc., and although technically ready meals they are excellent. Maybe try to find something like that? There cant be much joy in going out to eat with someone who picks the menu apart.

NanaandGrampy Mon 13-Feb-17 13:59:43

I get that he has an allergy but why doesn't he like all the other things ?

Everyone is entitled to have things they prefer but if you have for the last 9 years catered to his whims then it will come as a huge shock to him to change now.

Having said that , my brother refused to eat anything but sausages ( and not the good sort) cheese, beans, potatoes , breakfast cereal milk and icecream for the first 45 years of his life. Met his new young wife, 5 years later we went out for a steak last night!!

He still doesn't like anything spicy but at least now they can eat out.

I think there are some good ideas above. I'd bulk cook and freeze and then do the whole individual sauce , gravy thing for him.

Ps Tell him he's lucky he doesn't live in this house wink

Deedaa Mon 13-Feb-17 16:25:21

After nearly 7 years of chemo on and off DH doesn't have a lot of appetite and his likes seem to have narrowed down to about half a dozen. It's a total nightmare everyday trying to come up with an idea for a meal. Most of the things I suggest will be turned down instantly and it seems to end up being the same meals day after day.

Izabella Mon 13-Feb-17 16:55:17

I'm afraid if he lived in this house he would be shopping for himself and making his own meals. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

mcem Mon 13-Feb-17 17:27:50

It certainly is harsh when OP has explained that he is a clever and lovely man who is being robbed of his abilities by PD. Have a heart! OP need a space to have a 'rant' but is looking for support not condemnation.

mcem Mon 13-Feb-17 17:28:27

Sorry posted on wrong thread!

Auntieflo Mon 13-Feb-17 18:07:15

Oh how I sympathise . As your husband is working, could he not buy his main meal at midday, and just have an easy snack later on in the day?. I must say, after 55 years of planning, budgeting and cooking I am fed up with the whole thing. Luckily DH is a star, doesn't mind being a guinea pig if I am experimenting, not often, but will eat anything put in front of him.

Barmyoldbat Mon 13-Feb-17 18:56:33

First of all if he was in this house he would be sorting his own meals out, even if he is working! He needs to understand that you have to compromise in life, you can't have everything your way, why won't he eat ready meals? Why not give him a jacket potatoes,, salad and a pot of gravy? My husband hates spicy food, the compromise, he will eat it now and again with out a fuss if its not to spicy and he has plain yogurt with it. Me, I hate potatoes, but we still have meals with them. Sorry but I just wouldn't put up with him , his fussy ways and being a bad tempered person when he doesn't get his own way however lovely he is.

Sar53 Mon 13-Feb-17 19:31:35

After reading all your honest comments and having a little chuckle I am trying to decide whether to show the results to him. Not sure how he will take them. It has made me realise that he can be unreasonable when it comes to food.

Sunny75 Mon 13-Feb-17 19:32:38

My view is that he is being quite selfish. He could get his main meal out as he's working seems a good idea. Why do you have to cook if you are at home ALL day. You may like to enjoy your days without stressing about his dinner. Or he can ask you to purchase what he wants for him to prepare later. Or plan your weeks menus together.
What's wrong with ready meals they can be very nice. Try buying the ready meal liver and bacon, decant and see if he notices.
What is his allergy to garlic, or is it so long ago he can't remember. Seems a bit attention seeking!
Find things that you enjoy doing together let him fuss about his food alone.

Ankers Mon 13-Feb-17 19:42:25

Your husband sounds quite similar to mine as regards food.

But when I once said to him, "what would you like that is different/" he said to me the words "there is mistake. Who siad I wanted anything different?"

So I realised I could make him the same things over and over and he wouldnt/doesnt complain!

A bit boring for me, but he is happy, and I just have something else when I get fed up.

Have you actually asked him if he wants something else different?

Ankers Mon 13-Feb-17 19:43:17

"there is your mistake right there"

lizzypopbottle Mon 13-Feb-17 21:38:05

I agree with JackyB One of the best things I did when I was still working was to sit down with my son, who lives here at home, and make a list of all the meals we both like. We then slotted them into a fortnightly grid, later extended to a monthly plan, and included a couple of takeaways as well. My son does by far the lion's share of the cooking, which he enjoys, so the occasional planned takeaway gives him a break but isn't frequent enough to be unhealthy. It's made shopping much easier, I've stopped impulse buying and we hardly waste any food.Perhaps you could adapt that idea and have a cooking day every so often and freeze ahead. You could include the things you like that he doesn't and dish up accordingly. It sounds as if he'd hardly notice having the same thing on the same day of the week as long as there's plenty of gravy!

Jayanna9040 Mon 13-Feb-17 21:54:35

Oh the joy of living alone!!

Luckygirl Mon 13-Feb-17 22:14:41

Give him ready meals that have gravy on and cook proper meals for yourself.

Seriously - I do this. I never eat red meat but eat poultry, veg, fruit, salad, pasta and loads of fish. All my OH wants is bacon, steak pies, beef vindaloo etc. He is much happier with his ready meals on a sort of cycle - it all looks ghastly and unappetising to me, but it is what he wants. I do of course cook him some of these things myself sometimes, but I seriously gag at cooking red meat. I do him fried egg and sausages etc.

He is very happy with this arrangement. And I am not frustrated by giving him a balanced diet and having him turn his nose up at it! I have given up hope of getting "1-a-day" down him, let alone 5!!! grin

I have to say that in truth I am pretty bored with cooking, except when we have family round and I enjoy making a lovely meal for them - I know they will appreciate it! I sometimes try and work out how many meals I have cooked since I married and I have run out of ideas!!

merlotgran Mon 13-Feb-17 22:28:26

I'm very lucky. DH has always been as adventurous with food as I am. We both cook and I don't think there is anything he won't eat.

A few months ago when I realised I was going to have to go on a gluten free diet to ease my IBS symptoms (it did away with them completely) he just shrugged and said, 'I'll join you'

We're going for a carvery lunch tomorrow. I don't expect him to leave off the gravy grin

janeainsworth Tue 14-Feb-17 07:12:53

sar I really feel for you. I love food and so does MrA and I would find it so depressing if he didn't enjoy the things I make.
When I was working I sometimes used these ready meals
They really are just like home cooked food. There are one or two spicy things but most are plain English stews but very tasty.
jackyB Men don't notice if the same food crops up again and again Spot ongrin