What to eat

Decant the ready meals into your own pots and pans whilst he is at work and then he may never know. You will have to be a bit canny about the recycling though!

What about sausage and mash, you could have veg ones, toad in the hole, burgers in buns with chips, again youcould have veg ones, make a batch of gravy as some people suggest. Spare ribs and rice but he gets chips? You can get nice sauces to put over chicken or mince. Would he eat those if you pretend you made it, add fresh herbs . Pies? You could make individual ones, a batch, mince and gravy in his and cheese and lentils in yours.

He doesn't want anything different. Tell him to write out his menu for the week and give it to him. If it's repetitive that's what he wants. You eat what you want. When my OH retired he cooked but could only manage salmon and quinoa I went with that. It appears that your oh likes a lot of foods and that you are the one that has a limited palate. Cook his meals up for the week and freeze them. Job done. Make a big jug of bisto, job done!

Mine says fish and chips!

Love your idea of Man Food!

True IMO about many men not minding the same every day - a bit like dogs, they never complain about the same every day, do they? Just woofle it up. Shame you can't get big tins of Man Food!

My dh is not at all fussy, thank goodness, but he'd happily eat shepherd's pie every night of his life. In the past, when we had guests coming and I would be racking my brains about what to cook, he would invariably say 'shepherd's pie' if I ever asked what he thought.
It turned into something of a family joke.

Just have a day once a week when you cook up big batches of his sloppy preferred foods and then freeze everything. From the sounds of it his favourites are the sort of things that will freeze easily anyway.

These kinds of meaty meals often leave a nasty after-smell too, so it will cut down on that too.

And perhaps he could take you out once a week?

sar I really feel for you. I love food and so does MrA and I would find it so depressing if he didn't enjoy the things I make.
When I was working I sometimes used these ready meals www.lookwhatwefound.co.uk/about
They really are just like home cooked food. There are one or two spicy things but most are plain English stews but very tasty.
jackyB Men don't notice if the same food crops up again and again Spot on

I'm very lucky. DH has always been as adventurous with food as I am. We both cook and I don't think there is anything he won't eat.

A few months ago when I realised I was going to have to go on a gluten free diet to ease my IBS symptoms (it did away with them completely) he just shrugged and said, 'I'll join you'

We're going for a carvery lunch tomorrow. I don't expect him to leave off the gravy

Give him ready meals that have gravy on and cook proper meals for yourself.

Seriously - I do this. I never eat red meat but eat poultry, veg, fruit, salad, pasta and loads of fish. All my OH wants is bacon, steak pies, beef vindaloo etc. He is much happier with his ready meals on a sort of cycle - it all looks ghastly and unappetising to me, but it is what he wants. I do of course cook him some of these things myself sometimes, but I seriously gag at cooking red meat. I do him fried egg and sausages etc.

He is very happy with this arrangement. And I am not frustrated by giving him a balanced diet and having him turn his nose up at it! I have given up hope of getting "1-a-day" down him, let alone 5!!!

I have to say that in truth I am pretty bored with cooking, except when we have family round and I enjoy making a lovely meal for them - I know they will appreciate it! I sometimes try and work out how many meals I have cooked since I married and I have run out of ideas!!

Oh the joy of living alone!!

I agree with JackyB One of the best things I did when I was still working was to sit down with my son, who lives here at home, and make a list of all the meals we both like. We then slotted them into a fortnightly grid, later extended to a monthly plan, and included a couple of takeaways as well. My son does by far the lion's share of the cooking, which he enjoys, so the occasional planned takeaway gives him a break but isn't frequent enough to be unhealthy. It's made shopping much easier, I've stopped impulse buying and we hardly waste any food.Perhaps you could adapt that idea and have a cooking day every so often and freeze ahead. You could include the things you like that he doesn't and dish up accordingly. It sounds as if he'd hardly notice having the same thing on the same day of the week as long as there's plenty of gravy!

"there is your mistake right there"

Your husband sounds quite similar to mine as regards food.

But when I once said to him, "what would you like that is different/" he said to me the words "there is mistake. Who siad I wanted anything different?"

So I realised I could make him the same things over and over and he wouldnt/doesnt complain!

A bit boring for me, but he is happy, and I just have something else when I get fed up.

Have you actually asked him if he wants something else different?

My view is that he is being quite selfish. He could get his main meal out as he's working seems a good idea. Why do you have to cook if you are at home ALL day. You may like to enjoy your days without stressing about his dinner. Or he can ask you to purchase what he wants for him to prepare later. Or plan your weeks menus together.
What's wrong with ready meals they can be very nice. Try buying the ready meal liver and bacon, decant and see if he notices.
What is his allergy to garlic, or is it so long ago he can't remember. Seems a bit attention seeking!
Find things that you enjoy doing together let him fuss about his food alone.

After reading all your honest comments and having a little chuckle I am trying to decide whether to show the results to him. Not sure how he will take them. It has made me realise that he can be unreasonable when it comes to food.

First of all if he was in this house he would be sorting his own meals out, even if he is working! He needs to understand that you have to compromise in life, you can't have everything your way, why won't he eat ready meals? Why not give him a jacket potatoes,, salad and a pot of gravy? My husband hates spicy food, the compromise, he will eat it now and again with out a fuss if its not to spicy and he has plain yogurt with it. Me, I hate potatoes, but we still have meals with them. Sorry but I just wouldn't put up with him , his fussy ways and being a bad tempered person when he doesn't get his own way however lovely he is.

Oh how I sympathise . As your husband is working, could he not buy his main meal at midday, and just have an easy snack later on in the day?. I must say, after 55 years of planning, budgeting and cooking I am fed up with the whole thing. Luckily DH is a star, doesn't mind being a guinea pig if I am experimenting, not often, but will eat anything put in front of him.

Sorry posted on wrong thread!

It certainly is harsh when OP has explained that he is a clever and lovely man who is being robbed of his abilities by PD. Have a heart! OP need a space to have a 'rant' but is looking for support not condemnation.

I'm afraid if he lived in this house he would be shopping for himself and making his own meals. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

After nearly 7 years of chemo on and off DH doesn't have a lot of appetite and his likes seem to have narrowed down to about half a dozen. It's a total nightmare everyday trying to come up with an idea for a meal. Most of the things I suggest will be turned down instantly and it seems to end up being the same meals day after day.

I get that he has an allergy but why doesn't he like all the other things ?

Everyone is entitled to have things they prefer but if you have for the last 9 years catered to his whims then it will come as a huge shock to him to change now.

Having said that , my brother refused to eat anything but sausages ( and not the good sort) cheese, beans, potatoes , breakfast cereal milk and icecream for the first 45 years of his life. Met his new young wife, 5 years later we went out for a steak last night!!

He still doesn't like anything spicy but at least now they can eat out.

I think there are some good ideas above. I'd bulk cook and freeze and then do the whole individual sauce , gravy thing for him.

Ps Tell him he's lucky he doesn't live in this house

Gosh, he sounds like a real fussy pants. Some ready meals are very good, our local butcher makes his own cottage pies, beef bourgignon etc., and although technically ready meals they are excellent. Maybe try to find something like that? There cant be much joy in going out to eat with someone who picks the menu apart.

Thank you for your honest replies and kind words.
I forgot to say he will not eat ready meals, oven chips or frozen veg and he is allergic to garlic. An absolute nightmare. I have to check the ingredients on every thing I buy. We went to Barbados last year and everything had garlic in it. I actually felt sorry for him as it spoilt his holiday and therefore mine. The hotel were not very helpful either. If we go out to eat he has to check the ingredients of everything on the menu !!!
The last straw was yesterday when he agreed to have chicken Fajitas for dinner, I bought a kit from the supermarket without checking the ingredients first. It was not until we started cooking that I realised that everything had garlic in it. Bad mood for the rest of the day.

My late DH used to refuse things like pasta, chilli, rice etc. and heaven forbid that I used garlic in anything. I gradually started introducing these things, after a while he found he enjoyed the different tastes and textures (in fact I used to have to make 2 pots of chilli as he liked his very spicy!).