Help with a friend who has dementia

Have a look at Alzheimer's Society website here for help and suggestions. Maybe get them to send you some leaflets that you could give her husband. Music is also good as well as old photos - Age UK have a radio station called The Wireless which plays music of previous eras. Well done for trying to help your friend

You might find "Contented Dementia" by Oliver James helpful. I heard him on the radio a while ago and what he said made such sense to me. I think it might give you some ideas for the times you spend with your friend as well as explaining what is happening to her.

Thanks a lot. I thought I had shown the photos too often but obviously things can be repeated. Her husband is the problem as althoough I know him very well he will not discuss her case with me. She is often in pain when walking and he undertskes nothing, no painrelief nor Physio.
When her GD got married I had to tell him to take her to the hairdresser - with one day to go she looked such a mess. Later he thanked me but I felt I had overstepped the mark. Its not knowing where I am with this family.....
there seems to be no chance of her running aay. She is becoming a real couch potato and does no more housework. He does it all.

I agree with aggie, photos and chat about old times. It may be repetitive but your friend will be happy. Tea and cake is good too. Don't forget you are helping her husband as well, he is getting some down time. Play it by ear and don't disagree with her just move the conversation on. You will probably need to use distraction techniques if she feels its time to go before her husband arrives. I have recently helped out in the same way, it will be easier the next time as you know what to expect.

What about a dvd of a film that she has enjoyed in the past? It may evoke pleasant memories for her, but even if it doesn't, she would probably enjoy it. If nothing else, it may help you pass the time with her more easily.

Sometimes it is better to talk about past events , my OH got very confused yesterday with everyone talking about London , so today I have kept the TV off or played recordings of old programmes he enjoyed . Photo albums are a great idea , you will probably get sick of the same thing over and over , but to the confused it is all new every time

My school friend has had dementia for four years we usually meet up once a month for a lunch and I make sure she gets back to her husband... he recently rang me to see if I would be with her tomorrow evening as he has to go to a meeting and is getting worried about leaving her for the two hours as she is now starting to get out locking the door behind her but doesn't really know where she's going or how to get back in
I ve asked for him to drop her off at my house as I don't know her house or the heating or turning on or off of anything so feel it will be better at mine I ve got a school photo album and lots of other albums she might recognise or might not We ll have the Tv on in the back ground in case there's any blank moments some cup s of coffee and chat which she won't remember I hope she ll settle and not want to go after him Poor lady it's starting to get hard for him I don't really know him that well but he seems to be doing a caring job
with your friend just chat away about anything and everything lots of cups of tea or coffeee and photos
She still your friend

Dig out some photo albums. It's very sad to lose friends this way.