Is it OK to return gifts to Giver?

Never never never it happened to me when I gave my son in law a birthday present some years ago he was going on holiday and I bought him a beach t shirt plain white and some beige Bermuda shorts similar to some I d seen him in before they were from the local sports direct so I knew they were up to date and he's an average size I was proud that I d used my iniative however he opened the present then handed it back and said thanks but I won't ever wear them I was so shocked and hurt that I have really never felt any warmth to him since ( not just that I might add) but it completely knocked me sidewards I couldn't imagine how someone could be so blunt and unkind ..... he didn't even try them on ....the following year I sent him an oxfam token for some chickens in Africa

Loving the Oxfam idea , Bluebelle !

That's just plain rude Bluebell but it's a great idea to give all his future gifts to someone who'll appreciate them

Years ago my mum gave my DH a Charlotte Church CD for Xmas. It was not to his taste at all but he said thanks very much over the phone to her etc. She later asked me whether he was enjoying it and I admitted we had swopped it at whichever shop it was for something more to his taste( classical music). I got a lecture on how ungrateful he was etc!! After that we didn't always tell the truth!! However she swopped gifts I gave her from M and S and I didn't mind at all!

Petra I have one of those daughters too! She's a chip off her fathers block, I seem to be able to manage him but not her?

If I am buying a gift for someone and I'm not sure whether they will like it or it will be to their taste I always pop a gift receipt in with the present . I would hope/assume that if the gift was unsuitable they would take it back and exchange it rather than it going to waste.

If someone gave me a Charlotte Church CD for a present I would have to try and swap it or else it would be used as a coaster. How silly to second guess someone's taste in music if you don't know them well enough to be sure you have got it right.

I would never return a gift if I didn't like it - it is so rude, although people have done it to me.

I have just done a table sale and sold at least 3 unsuitable Christmas presents from 2016! The buyers were happy to get brand new things so cheaply and I was glad to be rid of them....Result!!

My MiL never liked anything that was bought for her, she either gave to my sister-in-law or did not use the gift. So I stopped buying for her.
I have a friend that I buy gifts for and she says it is lovely, but have never seen her with the item.
It is really hard work with some people and just wonder why we bother.

I've just had this happen to me and I must say my feelings were hurt. It was only a little extra gift (a silky scarf) I also put some money into their bank account also as it was a milestone birthday and they thanked me a month later! I have had gifts from this same person that I haven't liked but would never dream of telling her because I know she puts thought into what she buys.

I accept politely and donate. That said, I never meddle in others business. Especially I never meddle or interfere between my children. None of my affair whatsoever.

I once read a short story (I think it was by Ephraim Kishon) about someone who was given a box of chocolates for a gift. He didn't want it, so gave it as a present to someone else, then it was passed on to several others.
Some time later he received it back again, but by now the chocolates were going mouldy - poetic justice!

my husbands best friend prides himself on "always being honest" he likes a good whisky ,single malts and not inexpensive .Over the years we've (I've) bought bottles for him with no real problems ,sometimes he'll say it was not as peaty as he thought but not really complained.Last christmas he was much more vocal ,apparently it was utterly disgusting! So a wasted £50 odd .I'll stick to old favourites in future....or my husband can buy his friends presents himself

Is my family alone in always asking what they would like for birthday, Christmas etc?
This extends even to Easter as one GC is not keen on chocolate. Of course we also give a few extra 'surprises' but no-one be so rude as to say they don't like it and hand it back.

hallgreenmiss No, you're not alone, my dds, gc, ggc, tell me presisely what they want, picture of, store, etc.

I don't reciprocate, whatever they give is lovely.

I gave one of my friends a Radley umbrella and bag for Christmas five years ago, only to be given it back to me Christmas just gone, do you think she was trying to tell me something? I've always thought she recycled things for Christmas but I think after giving me slippers that were the wrong size along with other unsuitable gifts (which I hasten to add I accepted with good grace) I am in a quandry what to do next Christmas, I always try and get her nice presents but I think my benevolent spirit has worn off, anyone any suggestions?

Tallulah... cross her off your list of friends and put me on instead, I would love a radley bag please, thank you x

Get her some Oxfam chickens or a goat next year.

I ALWAYS ask what is the right thing to buy for my GD''s as I'd hate to think I'd got something they didn't ĺike.
I can't see that it's a problem. My DIL checks what we like too.

Tallulah There is a Mark Twain story called ( I think) 'the smoking jacket' where a velvet smoking jacket ( all the rage in the 1800's) with a matching hat and a pipe, is first given as a Christmas present to a friend, and then circles around for a lot of further Christmases until it eventually reaches the original giver, slightly dishevelled and minus the hat and pipe.

Tallulah buy something a bit cheaper for her....slippers in the wrong size?

Totally unacceptable behaviour! Oh what a material society we live in!

To the OP, it's always wrong to give a gift back to the sender....always!

I agree - NEVER return the gift to the donor. It is the height of bad manners.
Having said that, my DM used to take one look at the gift, say "I don't want/need this" and Turn to another person and foist it upon him/her in front of the donor - usually me... It was unbelievably hurtful!

I've had some humdingers of gifts in the past which I have said thank you for and put in the attic. I have no problem with people exchanging anything I buy - I pop a gift receipt in with the presents or give money or gift cards if I'm not sure what they would like. I would hate to think I have spent a lot of money on something that gets put away and never worn or used or just given to a charity shop.

It is not acceptable to return a gift, and certainly not to then ask for a different one! One sister is disappointed by what was given by her sister - tough - you are not able to say "Don't want that, get me this instead!" Her mum should tell her to get real, it is one present, not exactly a life or death situation. My mum returned my christmas present to me the following year as a gift, which really upset me, but shortly afterwards she was diagnosed with Altzimers which explained it.