The Topper- been there done that.

I have a BiL like that. I find it very wearing. Any medical complaint I have he's had it much worse. Any achievement: he's done it better or is so uninterested he changes the subject or is disparaging about the activity. I then get bored with endless one sided conversations about how clever he's been, or how badly treated, how ill (but uncomplainingly so!) etc. I dont think he knows he's doing it!

Phoenix he probably told his friends he suffered more than them because your periods were the worst ever

I always thought it was called bragging. Know plenty of people like that

Two of the Television Toppers were old girls from my school
(but much older than me of course!!)

did no-one pick up on my topper

It's called, I believe, the "Alright Everyone - Attention Back To Me, Me, Me!" syndrome......
Margs -
as DD and I say about someone we know - 'Me, me, me, me. Well, that's enough about me, let's talk about you. What do you think about me?'

Oh yes, I too have a topper! Speaks the biggest load of rubbish re her health to try and trump everyone else. We all just let it pass but does she honestly think we believe it? She said she'd had serious spinal surgery......no scar to be seen at all when we went swimming. (V low cut backless swimsuit). In fact, it's not just topping people, it's lying.

My Ex husband is a topper, everything is bigger and better than everyone else's. So much so that everyone avoids spending to much time with him.

Yes I have a neighbour who has wonderfully intelligent grown up daughters who have married terribly well, live in fabulous houses. Are at the very top of their careers, and their children are all very intelligent and doing very well in school winning lots of competitions and are surrounded by lots of lovely friends. She never asks about my family.

I feel sooo much better knowing I am not the only one.
Now I just need someone to tell me how to deal with it without falling out all together.

Goodness me! Most of my acquaintances are like that!!! on top of which they rarely listen to what I have to say. I just let them get on with it and smile to myself thinking, "Well, if I am that boring, why bother having me around?"

Angela we have friends like that!!
Not only that, but one of them constantly puts down my DC and has done for years.

I can never get a word in edgeways with some of them to tell them what my DC are doing and they never ask.

Jalima, do tell, or at least give clues!

Here's one for you, "why didn't (insert name of choice) ever get to be a singer?"

Because when practising their scales they went:

Doh, Rey, ME ME ME ME!

I can't remember both names, one was Ann Taylor and the other Janet somebody (in my cousin's year, both older than me )

You think YOU have problems with friends like these?
Well, tell me about it!!
I can top that. Let me tell you about .........

Oh yes I have/had? not sure as I have not heard from them for years, they could be dead by now for all I know. Not a topper friend, but a Topper Aunt and Uncle, everything they did, or had was more expensive, better or bigger . My Cousins were all brilliant at school, and as soon as they started work they were CEO after a month and turned the whole company around.

None of this was true of course but they ALWAYS did it. Funny thing is they always tried to be " Posh", especially the Auntie, I used to giggle to myself when she got her words muddled up. She did that all the time. Mrs Bucket had nothing on her.

Oh and when they went on Holiday they always made friends with
Surgeons, or company directors , you get the drift?
You know what I am glad I have not heard from them in years they drove me mad

When our next door neighbour used to rattle on about how much her latest acquisition had cost, (always more than anyone else would afford, naturally), my old Dad used to say that she "knows the cost of everything, but the value of nowt". Very true.

I love that expression chewbacca.

When we were first married we bought a white wall which we were very proud of. DH's friend from University came to visit and said. 'We've just bought something like that except it's wider, taller, deeper.....well just better really!' We trot that out regularly to describe 'toppers'.

We stayed with the same friend once in the early 70s when showers were still fairly unusual. He had just had one put in and said 'the shower is a bit of a novelty, isn't it?' As we also had one, I was slightly confused so asked if it played music? That flummoxed him.

My (long deceased) MiL, if ever an illness cropped up in conversation, whether cancer or a cold, always knew someone who'd died from it.

And my SiL, who's a lovely lady, is a terrible name dropper. She's given up with me now as I have a terrible memory for names and her efforts are completely wasted on me. I love listening to her at gatherings weaving names of apparently impressive aquaintances into conversations in order to impress. She's very skilled at it.

Had an aunt like this - she could always top everything - either she'd seen it/done it/bigger/better etc.,, or else one of her bosom buddies would have.

I remember my mother mentioning someone who had a fairly rare disease, and my father came straight back with, 'if you tell X she'll know someone who's had it twice.' lol

Why would you care? Why are they friends?

There's a lot of them about! We have two, a married couple, who are experts on everything, their information being gathered from what they have heard of other people's experiences and ailments. Anything we do, any ailments we have, any acquisitions - including our home - are dismissed as 'small'. A sense of humour is essential .

Why do the toppers do it ? Is it because they are trying to boost themselves because they feel inferior or insecure ? Just wondering. I tend to pick friends who do this and I think it's because I am quiet and so don't have to make much effort in the conversation. I love my family but don't feel I have anything to brag about .......except my DD and G S

I have just remembered the occasion, about four years ago mow when a distant cousin, who I had "met" online while doing the family tree asked if he and his wife could visit while in the area and he and his wife called for coffee en route to somewhere.
we actually got on quite well and still e-mail occasionally.

His wife was the topper

She was telling us about someone she had met who had impressed her and she visited them at home.
She said she was quite surprised by their house,quite small and very ordinary really, and with a sweep round with her gaze she topped it with, rather like yours actually.

My m always had to say the brothers had done it better were more poorly etc etc than I was. She loved her boys. Girls were just a nuisance to be endured and belittled. Even operations were belittled. Her boys had had it worse. This made me be sure to treat daughters and sons the same