Child taking a present to another child's birthday party

You seem to be making a lot of assumptions about my lifestyle and that of other posters,*Lillie*. Gosh, people have to work long hours and juggle childcare - who'd ever have thought it?

My GS's in Beijing get invited to lots of parties in the ex pat community. Some of them are completely over the top (we are talking infant school age) but some of the wives there are given monthly spending allowances as part of their contracts and cheerfully say that some months they have difficulty spending it. GS once came home with an expensive rucsac filled with lots of other things.
Needless to say DD is a chip off the old block and does not get sucked in to things she cannot afford (or want).
I totally agree with other posters and think that £5 is fine. The trouble with this fashion for inviting the whole class to something is having to reciprocate presents possibly 30 times. 60 times if there are 2 children and if it is only £5 per present it adds up to £300 per annum. No wonder some families are struggling financially !
Lets start a petition to ban all peer pressure - it surely is not too late to add it to all these manifestos going the rounds at the moment !

Exactly rosesarered, you have the time to look round for bargains, compare prices etc. and that's great.

Mmb is wrong to say some parents have more money than sense. They may well be working a 50 hour week, juggling childcare, away on business etc. so they cannot always find the time to source presents at knock-down prices. It IS all relative to lifestyle, and indirectly to earnings.

Coolgran the children concerned were only five years old! That now means that every party DGS attends they have to spend a similar amount ( or look round for bargains) I know what I would do!

Oh BlueBelle that is a sorry tale.

We didn't even take the cake home travelsafar we ate it at the party.

Times have changed beyond recognition and it's so much harder as they get older My granddaughter(14) bought a very generous present costing about £15 for her friend's birthday, out of her own pocket money, but was in tears as all her friends had spent more and no amount of talking about worth, thought, love etc (which she well knows and understands) could change her mind, and against advice she went on her own and bought a second smaller present to go with it so she would not be different or less than all the others The peer pressure about everything now is totally off the scale

Well I certainly don't agree that it depends on your area, or your immediate circle. Anyone can turn up with a £20 gift. But if you've paid full price for it, you've more money than sense, IMHO.

I wonder where the party bags thingy started. As a child the only thing you took home from a party was a slice of birthday cake wrapped in a paper napkin. Why does everything nowadays have to be over the top. It was just as much fun having a few good friends round for a tea of sandwiches, jelly and ice cream and cakes and playing games like pass the parcel, musical chairs and statues. If it was a summer day we would also have balloons to play with out in the garden and play blind mans buff or please mr postman as you needed the room for those tow games.

No worries from your comment, phoenix. I hope things get better for you.

I think we all agree that it depends on your area, or on your immediate circle. A lot of the well turned-out ladies employ party entertainers, caterers etc. - so they're not really entering into the party spirit in the traditional sense anyway! Our DGD went to a party recently at a posh London hotel where they had organised an indoor carousel with horses! Obviously the gift taken for the child needed to be in proportion.

Maybe things have just moved on faster in the affluent circles.

As paddyann says, putting £20 in a card can be a good solution for busy working parents, or if you have no idea what the child already has. Personally I would prefer it to be a John Lewis voucher or similar.

I love the idea in your OP, coolgran! I'm going to tell my daughter about it.

I know it`s a long time ago now, but our kids used to be able to invite 6 friends, not the whole class as they seem to do now, with our 5 that made 11 anyway. I used to go to the paper shop, where lovely Mrs. Fruen kept a large cardboard box under the counter, full of bits for prizes at parties. Things like hair slides, crayons, those little plastic puzzles where you pushed the tiles around ton complete the picture or puzzle, all sorts of bits and pieces. We had the parties at home, not at an expensive venue, but the kiddies all had a great time. I did get them all a Lucky Bag to take home, but they weren`t as elaborate or expensive as nowadays.

thats quite a normal amount for the parties my GC go to ,we're not in a particularly affluent area .My son,who usually takes his daughter to parties as he has her at weekends generally puts a £20 note in a card as buying something a 7 or 8 year old doesn't already have is near impossible

Same as Baubles. DD stocks up on gifts when sales on or 3 for 2 as do her friends.

Lillie , perhaps I was not explaining my thoughts/opinions very well.

Oh well, life's too short, and I've still got that blister, other things are more important, severe case of CBA, but last try, just meant that in our area, no one would expect that sort of cash alternative, and I was perhaps wrongly assuming that these sort of children's parties were hosted by very well turned out ladies, with different expectations.
I'll get me coat, as they used to say.

Pomegranates....Oh I wish I'd been a fly on the,wall.

Luckygirl your pomegranates made laugh out loud (in a good way)

I don't think many parents buy full price toys/games, do they? The RRP might be £15, but £5 would surely be nearer the price normally paid (and it's enough!). I always kept a drawer full of bargain buys ready for my lot to take along to parties.

The area I would be referring to is just average. Nice but not affluent. Ordinary mix of private housing and social housing.

I'm not sure that being well groomed, (to within an inch of one's cuticles!) has anything to do with the amount spent on a child's birthday present.
Most parents spend what they can afford.
If you're asking where £15 - £20 is the norm, it is the case in many affluent areas where incomes are high. That's just how it is.

The whole children's party circuit can get really out of hand. £20 - that is crazy!

I once offered pomegranates as a parting gift at a party - well that went down a storm I don't think!

Bought a lovely striped Joules tee-shirt dress today in the local charity shop!
Re birthday presents:DDs have both stuck to giving simple gifts and not providing extravagant goody bags. On Saturday DGS2 is having a shared 5th b'day party, for all other kids in class, with 2 other classmates. They have put something on the invite re no pressies as buying for 3 would be silly. Also DD says she does not want any more "stuff" in the house!!

coolgran you are a woman after my own heart. I only buy reduced or brand new from the charity shop. Latest bargain was brand new (label still on sole) black dress shoes that were £79 for my son's birthday, they cost me £2 in my local charity shop.

Thanks everyone for your views. I agree the £5 should be plenty.
Couldn't believe it when I heard of 15 or 20, I too was speechless. What if two siblings were attending. !!
Roses I see you have come across this also.

I also have a gift box under the bed which already has stuff for Xmas. It includes an M and S winter coat for our two year old dgs, labelled at £35, I got it in clearance for 4.99.

My DD has a present box and when she sees things (stickers, fancy pencil, pretty notebook) in sales, she buys them and in the box they go. Nothing costs more than £5 and she always has something available for presents.