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Child taking a present to another child's birthday party

(56 Posts)
Coolgran65 Wed 24-May-17 19:16:17

My friend and I were discussing this recently. I was amazed to hear that it's quite usual for these gifts to cost about £15 each. And if at short notice......No gift..... put a £20 note in the card.
Yes, I do understand that the host might be spending quite a bit on the birthday party, using a venue etc.(doesn't have to use a venue) but it still seems to me to be over the top for a gift for a school chum. The guest will likely return the party invitation in the future.

I asked a family member who lives abroad what way it worked for them, their child is 5 yrs. I was told that at a recent birthday party each child was asked to bring a gently used book. No gift for the birthday child. At home time the books were laid out and each child got a 'new' book and cake, including the birthday child. No party bags filled with plastic tat to take home, no hassle.

The birthday child of.course had family gifts.

I thought this was a great idea.
More about having fun and less stress and cost for all of the parents, host and guest.

What does anyone else think, or am I a party pooper.

baubles Wed 24-May-17 19:30:02

In my experience of DGs birthday parties, their own and those of their friends, gifts cost between £3-£6. Most parents stock up in sales or buy books, colouring books or sticker books from the pound shop. No need to spend more I reckon.

baubles Wed 24-May-17 19:31:19

Oh and if it's a card with cash then it's £5.

NanaandGrampy Wed 24-May-17 19:31:31

I think that sounds like a lovely idea. We asked for no gifts at my daughters baby shower but instead a copy of their favourite book when they were a child. The baby had a lovely little library to start off with and each had meaning .

My daughters have a £5 limit on school friends gift and it often is less than that. It's more important that it's something the child will like. £20 is a ridiculous amount in my opinion.

phoenix Wed 24-May-17 19:32:11

Absolutely disgusting!

I am speechless at this, which is unusual for me.

Is this now the norm? And if so,where? Doesn't seem to happen around here, but then this is rural North Devon, and all the 4x4 are actually usually covered in mud (or worse ) and the mummy drivers , whilst lovely ladies, are not often of the groomed to within an inch of their cuticles type.

rosesarered Wed 24-May-17 19:47:21

Small DGS had a birthday party recently ( venue) and received lovely gifts from 20 small friends ( it surprised his parents as the gifts were all ten to fifteen pounds)shock

Sar53 Wed 24-May-17 19:56:16

My DD has a present box and when she sees things (stickers, fancy pencil, pretty notebook) in sales, she buys them and in the box they go. Nothing costs more than £5 and she always has something available for presents.

Coolgran65 Wed 24-May-17 21:09:54

Thanks everyone for your views. I agree the £5 should be plenty.
Couldn't believe it when I heard of 15 or 20, I too was speechless. What if two siblings were attending. !!
Roses I see you have come across this also.

I also have a gift box under the bed which already has stuff for Xmas. It includes an M and S winter coat for our two year old dgs, labelled at £35, I got it in clearance for 4.99.

grannypiper Wed 24-May-17 21:47:45

coolgran you are a woman after my own heart. I only buy reduced or brand new from the charity shop. Latest bargain was brand new (label still on sole) black dress shoes that were £79 for my son's birthday, they cost me £2 in my local charity shop.

Penstemmon Wed 24-May-17 22:00:53

Bought a lovely striped Joules tee-shirt dress today in the local charity shop!
Re birthday presents:DDs have both stuck to giving simple gifts and not providing extravagant goody bags. On Saturday DGS2 is having a shared 5th b'day party, for all other kids in class, with 2 other classmates. They have put something on the invite re no pressies as buying for 3 would be silly. Also DD says she does not want any more "stuff" in the house!!

Luckygirl Wed 24-May-17 22:02:28

The whole children's party circuit can get really out of hand. £20 - that is crazy!

I once offered pomegranates as a parting gift at a party - well that went down a storm I don't think!

Lillie Wed 24-May-17 22:07:48

I'm not sure that being well groomed, (to within an inch of one's cuticles!) has anything to do with the amount spent on a child's birthday present. confused
Most parents spend what they can afford.
If you're asking where £15 - £20 is the norm, it is the case in many affluent areas where incomes are high. That's just how it is.

Coolgran65 Wed 24-May-17 22:27:36

The area I would be referring to is just average. Nice but not affluent. Ordinary mix of private housing and social housing.

Maggiemaybe Wed 24-May-17 22:33:09

I don't think many parents buy full price toys/games, do they? The RRP might be £15, but £5 would surely be nearer the price normally paid (and it's enough!). I always kept a drawer full of bargain buys ready for my lot to take along to parties.

Cherrytree59 Wed 24-May-17 22:40:19

Luckygirl your pomegranates made laugh out loud (in a good way)

Coolgran65 Wed 24-May-17 22:44:49

Pomegranates....Oh I wish I'd been a fly on the,wall.

phoenix Wed 24-May-17 22:52:59

Lillie , perhaps I was not explaining my thoughts/opinions very well.

Oh well, life's too short, and I've still got that blister, other things are more important, severe case of CBA, but last try, just meant that in our area, no one would expect that sort of cash alternative, and I was perhaps wrongly assuming that these sort of children's parties were hosted by very well turned out ladies, with different expectations.
I'll get me coat, as they used to say.

ElaineI Wed 24-May-17 23:20:26

Same as Baubles. DD stocks up on gifts when sales on or 3 for 2 as do her friends.

paddyann Wed 24-May-17 23:21:57

thats quite a normal amount for the parties my GC go to ,we're not in a particularly affluent area .My son,who usually takes his daughter to parties as he has her at weekends generally puts a £20 note in a card as buying something a 7 or 8 year old doesn't already have is near impossible

callgirl1 Thu 25-May-17 01:55:29

I know it`s a long time ago now, but our kids used to be able to invite 6 friends, not the whole class as they seem to do now, with our 5 that made 11 anyway. I used to go to the paper shop, where lovely Mrs. Fruen kept a large cardboard box under the counter, full of bits for prizes at parties. Things like hair slides, crayons, those little plastic puzzles where you pushed the tiles around ton complete the picture or puzzle, all sorts of bits and pieces. We had the parties at home, not at an expensive venue, but the kiddies all had a great time. I did get them all a Lucky Bag to take home, but they weren`t as elaborate or expensive as nowadays.

thatbags Thu 25-May-17 07:20:17

I love the idea in your OP, coolgran! I'm going to tell my daughter about it.

Lillie Thu 25-May-17 08:10:30

No worries from your comment, phoenix. I hope things get better for you. smile

I think we all agree that it depends on your area, or on your immediate circle. A lot of the well turned-out ladies employ party entertainers, caterers etc. - so they're not really entering into the party spirit in the traditional sense anyway! sad Our DGD went to a party recently at a posh London hotel where they had organised an indoor carousel with horses! Obviously the gift taken for the child needed to be in proportion.

Maybe things have just moved on faster in the affluent circles.

As paddyann says, putting £20 in a card can be a good solution for busy working parents, or if you have no idea what the child already has. Personally I would prefer it to be a John Lewis voucher or similar.

travelsafar Thu 25-May-17 08:26:40

I wonder where the party bags thingy started. As a child the only thing you took home from a party was a slice of birthday cake wrapped in a paper napkin. Why does everything nowadays have to be over the top. It was just as much fun having a few good friends round for a tea of sandwiches, jelly and ice cream and cakes and playing games like pass the parcel, musical chairs and statues. If it was a summer day we would also have balloons to play with out in the garden and play blind mans buff or please mr postman as you needed the room for those tow games.

Maggiemaybe Thu 25-May-17 08:28:16

Well I certainly don't agree that it depends on your area, or your immediate circle. Anyone can turn up with a £20 gift. But if you've paid full price for it, you've more money than sense, IMHO.

BlueBelle Thu 25-May-17 08:47:29

Times have changed beyond recognition and it's so much harder as they get older My granddaughter(14) bought a very generous present costing about £15 for her friend's birthday, out of her own pocket money, but was in tears as all her friends had spent more and no amount of talking about worth, thought, love etc (which she well knows and understands) could change her mind, and against advice she went on her own and bought a second smaller present to go with it so she would not be different or less than all the others The peer pressure about everything now is totally off the scale