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Update to going solo to a wedding

(28 Posts)
Shizam Thu 01-Jun-17 21:59:27

Thanks to all for so much great advice on my eek to first big social post marriage going up. Wanted to find original post for inspiration before I went. But couldn't. So just remembered bits that I could. Got nails and hair done. Did the long trip there and survived two memorable days at the hugest wedding have ever been to, was madness. Jewish wedding. Couple thrown up in chairs in scariest way. Daughter of oldest friend's wedding, She looked after me so well.
But still came away feeling sad that I went alone and couldn't share all sorts with someone else. Felt like Billy no mates a lot of the time. And low next day. Glad I went, my friend appreciated my effort. But golly, it's hard.

Shizam Thu 01-Jun-17 22:00:19

*post marriage going up the creek.

Rigby46 Thu 01-Jun-17 22:30:12

Nice of you to update - so it was a Jewish wedding - they are quite something aren't they? I've been to one -500 guests!! Anyway, you went, that's great - tge first step is probably the hardest and I'm glad your friend appreciated your going

Penstemmon Thu 01-Jun-17 22:44:53

Good for you shizam a difficult step..but you took it grinflowers The next time will be easier.

Shizam Thu 01-Jun-17 22:54:09

Gosh, yes, they are Rigby. The dancing bit was like being in a rugby scrum. Quite scarey!
The actual marriage ceremony though was beautiful and so family orientated. Rabbi spoke such lovely words, too.
And, yes, meant a lot that friend looked out for me. I'm the only one from her past. All family gone. So guess she appreciated me making effort to go, as I did her making me feel ok.

Shizam Thu 01-Jun-17 23:00:46

Thank you penstommen. Swore to myself it was a one-off, though!

Rigby46 Thu 01-Jun-17 23:03:23

The couple on the chairs had me putting my hands over my eyes!! It was truly amazing the whole thing - I do remember a LOT of food as well

Stansgran Fri 02-Jun-17 07:54:37

Baby steps to start. Think of it as a moon landing.

tinaf1 Fri 02-Jun-17 08:52:53

Well done Shizam 💐

DanniRae Fri 02-Jun-17 08:59:59

Yes Well Done! And thank you for coming back with an update. It's always good to hear about the outcome of something that you have been following on Gransnet smile

BlueBelle Fri 02-Jun-17 09:06:44

Well done it will never be as bad again Not the best though being on your own at any social event I completely understand I m going to a 50th anniversary tomorrow and dreading and looking forward to it at the same time

Mapleleaf Fri 02-Jun-17 09:50:18

Well done Shizam and thank you for updating us. You will have lovely memories to look back on. flowers

radicalnan Fri 02-Jun-17 10:30:24

Well done!!! I am so glad you went.

nipsmum Fri 02-Jun-17 11:43:15

Well done. It was really brave of you and I promise it won't be so difficult the next time you have to do something similar.

sarahellenwhitney Fri 02-Jun-17 12:47:58

Being solo at a wedding is not always going on ones own
but being 'left 'on your own once you get there.I would never have believed it could happen to me twice
First time myself five months pregnant. Exhausted by long journey only knew the bride and groom sat in church by self DH was best man. Back to reception was put next to brides elderly gran for six long hours.Huge row later on with DH
Next time, not pregnant but a long journey, DH best man to his ex army days' friend then back to reception.
DH happy seeing all old mates, I did not know any of them and never saw DH until evening
By then having propped up the free bar I couldn't have cared less.grin

Tessa101 Fri 02-Jun-17 13:10:31

I remember your original post. Good for you that you went.flowers

inishowen Fri 02-Jun-17 13:22:12

DH and I have decided not to go to a wedding in September. I wouldn't have known anyone but DH knows bride and groom. It was a military wedding and we received instructions on a dress code. Medals and swords to be worn! The invitation also asked for cash towards the honeymoon. This I find is crass. They are well off and I think donations to a charity would have been more acceptable. I really didn't want to go but waited to see what DH wanted. Luckily he decided he didn't fancy it either, but gave a £200 cash gift, which I disapproved of.

harrysgran Fri 02-Jun-17 13:28:46

Well done for going it alone I know from my own experience how difficult social events are I went to a wonderful wedding last new year eve and although I had a lovely time I felt a bit like a spare part near the end of the evening maybe I'll start up a chaperone agencysmile

GrandmaMoira Fri 02-Jun-17 17:31:35

Well done for going. I don't think I would have done. Nowadays I go to weddings with my son or sons and DGDs but am usually sitting on my own at the reception as the younger people go off to dance etc. I really don't like social occasions as a single person. It doesn't get any easier for me.

gagsy Fri 02-Jun-17 17:44:28

Well done and take comfort that it will have meant the world to your friend and that no one else could have filled that "space "for her

janeainsworth Fri 02-Jun-17 18:00:05

Well done shizam, your friend must have appreciated your being there. I hope the experience will make you feel more confident about things NHS in the future, now that you know you can do it flowers

janeainsworth Fri 02-Jun-17 18:00:41

What the hell is the NHS doing in there ?!*%^#!

Shizam Fri 02-Jun-17 18:01:54

It is amazing how different these occasions are as we age. When I was younger, wouldn't have thought twice about it. And would probably have looked at it as a prospect to meet someone! Now, I had to plan as if for battle. So stressed running up to it, did wonder if I would bottle it at last minute. But glad I did it.
I was actually bridesmaid to mother of bride 37 years ago. And for that one turned up after 250 mile commute, post a disgraceful night out, looking fresh as a daisy. Then didn't occur to me I might not be able to get back home. So some poor relative had to put it me up. The confidence of youth!
Thank you for all your support and replies.

Shizam Fri 02-Jun-17 18:03:45

*put me up, not put it me up!

Shizam Fri 02-Jun-17 18:06:53

Oh that's made me laugh Jane! Politicos invading us?!?