No friends

My U3A is brilliant. I am retired but not yet 60. I do walking in the fells, cycling, table tennis and water sports with the U3A. There are 42 groups in our area so hopefully something for everyone

Or send a PM to "Pittcity* She is editor of the Colchester local site, and IO think she also edits another site in Essex as well.

Does your local site have an editor, *MissAdventure ? Many of the local sites don't have volunteer editors, so they don't get updated and promoted so people lose interest and don't look at them.

Posting on the main GN site is a better bet. Click on the "Forums" tab (just beneath the Gransnet banner) which takes you to a list of topics. Choose "Meetups/where are we" and have a look there to see whether there is anything currently planned near you. If not, start a new thread (it is easy!) asking if anyone near you would like to meet up for a cup of coffee.

You don't have to give details of where you live - you could meet somewhere in a neighbouring town convenient to you both.

MissAdventure I do not know Essex at all but why not choose a town that most folk could possibly get to and a cafe near transport and try to set up a time to meet for coffee. Maybe give 2-3 dates in case the first was not convenient. Good luck.

My main problem is my lifestyle (by no means chosen I can assure you) but it makes it difficult to have very much of a social life. I work almost full time in engineering (all men) although I spend almost all of my working days alone. (Well with Gransnet for company ) I do regular child care for my three grandchildren and see my elderly dad several times a week too (although his social life is way better than mine which is almost non existent). My one little saving grace is my WI which I attend once a month however the are lots of splinter groups I would love to attend but they're almost always either during the day when I'm at work or on evenings when I have the children overnight.
To be honest I'm not sure there is anything much I can do about it.

And so it continues...........

There seem to be a fair few "Essex girls" who would like a friend
Its strange, I looked on the local site and replied to a thread there (a couple of times) but nobody had answered the last time I looked. I didn't want to appear desperate!

I live in Colchester

You do not have to work for them Bettyboo. You could attend some of the activities they run.

Hi yes I have asked age concern and applied for a job with them
I've heard nothing been 3 weeks I have accepted the fact that friendship
For me is going to be hard to find

sunseeker. Have you spoken to your local Age UK? They often run coffee clubs or need befrienders and have a range of other activities - almost all daytime events.

I have not joined my local U3A for many reasons but one thing which did attract me that several people met on a Sunday and went for lunch, a different restaurant each time. This was mainly for people like myself on their own at the weekend. I thought that it was a very good idea and if the builders ever leave this house I may well join.

I cannot drive in dusk and dark so that rules out many evening classes and WI meetings. Not all of the latter locally are run during the day.

I am not shy but I can understand it can be a bit daunting to enter a room full of strangers and nobody makes an effort to say hello.

It is an interesting discussion.

Don't give up sunseeker. Keep going back to these clubs and classes. I'm sure that in time you'll gradually find that eg a Christmas lunch will be organised or a fund raising event of some sort will need volunteers and you can get more involved.
I'm trying to remember if there's anything special that I actually do when I go to a new thing. No special 'friend making' top tips I'm afraid apart from being an interested listener and smiling a lot! I suppose not appearing too keen too soon might help?
I've been going to one U3A group for a couple of years now. I enjoy it very much but we don't socialise outwith the group. However, another U3A group is much newer and already we're doing coffee meet ups. Different people different relationships somehow.
I should also say that I was very surprised but pleased, on my first aqua fit class, to be invited to their Christmas lunch! Some people are just friendlier and more outgoing than others.
Sorry to be so long winded. This topic got me thinking about something I've never consciously considered.

I've not had much to do with U3A, but I believe their ethos is do-it-yourself - anyone can start a group, they don't have to be a tutor who knows it all, just to have an interest in something and be looking for likeminded people to join them. It isn't just a list of tutored classes.

There is no age limit, I think it is said to be for people who are past the age of school and uni/college, which is a pretty wide range, but inevitably there are a lot of retired people,(just as on Gransnet)

Among other things, the Edinburgh group have regular lunches/dinners, in various eating places. This became so popular that the group was too big and there are now several splinter groups meeting on different days.

I suppose the difficulty comes if you DON'T have any interest in anything and are in search of an external stimulus, but your local branch hasn't any readymade groups which appeal. As ever, there has to be an element of input to get any return.

All the suggestions on this thread are good however my problem is that I live in a rural area and there are no clubs here. The nearest place U3A meet is 15 miles away and meet in the evenings (driving along unlit narrow country roads at night is no fun), I did join NWR but found that all the talk was about grandchildren (I am child free) and gave up when the whole of one meeting was taken up with a member describing in graphic detail the difficulties her daughter had giving birth to twins! I have joined classes in yoga, tai chi, keep fit, walking groups etc. in the nearest town and whilst people are friendly in class - no-one was interested in going for coffee after. If, like me, you are shy and not very confident it is hard to keep walking into a strange place alone and after making an effort keep being knocked back - perhaps it is me.

Looks interesting persistent. I've met up with ladies from a breakaway group of ex HWR. They had just decided to do their own thing without being formally affiliated.
I've been doing talks to ladies groups of all sorts recently. There's something about women that draws them into friendly groups. Tea and scones seem to be a feature of them all...

Oh dear, that "prickly response" from kateykrunch says a lot.
It reminds me of Groucho Marx (I think) who said he would never want to belong to any club that would have him as a member !!
It is a fact of life that when we retire, the activities on offer, being designed for the retired, will attract a wide age range. I go to an education centre in Bedford for art history or literature classes and the only "qualification" for membership is that you have to be over 55. We also have members in their 80's so that is a potential span of 25 years!
You have to be open minded, friendly and not too easily rebuffed if something is not your cup of tea or somebody doesn't respond as enthusiastically to overtures of friendship. "Best friends forever" are probably not on the agenda, shared experience is often the foundation for that, so I would say don't expect more than the company of pleasant people, enjoy the activity for its own sake, not just as a vehicle for making friends, pass the time in a pleasurable way and, by not expecting too much you won't be disappointed.

Some of you might like to look at joining a local group of the National Women's Register.

nwr.org.uk/

I was lucky to meet with lovely women, in the Dorchester group, while I lived there.

kateykrunch that is an unnecessarily unpleasant response to poor charleygirl. You can write something that seems clear to you but simply is not to readers who don't know what it exactly is that you are trying to say.
It's entirely possible to make online friends but wording is important. I received a great deal of support and kindness from GN people when I needed my knee replacement last year. charleygirl" was among the first and kindest. In such ways friendships are formed. No buses required!

Kateykrunch, I know what you mean. ....U3As can vary greatly, I've discovered through talking to friends in different parts of the country. I joined my local one and didn't like it at all. The monthly coffee morning was less coffee and more "business agenda" with different people taking it in turns "in the chair" and most of them pretending to be running ICI. One person asked the acting chairwoman something, and she said "You must address me as "Madam Chairman". I laughed thinking she was joking, but I laughed alone because she wasn't, and the person dutifully rephrased the question addressing her as "Madam Chairman".

In my working life I was PA to a director in banking and sat in endless meetings taking minutes. They were more relaxed than the U3A coffee morning ... However friends in other areas have not found the same.

I then tried their art group because I paint and wanted to learn something new, but the tutor couldn't paint as well as I can, and I'm not great, so I gave up. Any other U3A groups I fancied were full.

Charleyfirl, perhaps you should just actually read my post, before being so nasty, and you are right, I doubt I would wish to meet you!
All the posts on this thread are to do with having no friends, perhaps being lonely and finding it difficult to meet people. As a lot of people tend to suggest trying the U3A, I was just pointing out that I had tried it, my U3A may not be at all like your or other peoples U3A, I never mentioned anyones age, just that the activities on offer where not of interest to me at this time. It was also mentioned that it would be an idea to say where in the Country we where all based, I was joining in with the conversation probably with lots of differing age groups as well, but I am not going to restate my meaning of this again, if you cant be bothered to actually read, digest and respond appropriately, thats your problem.

Synonymous I agree you may well be traced if you live in a small village but all that people have to say is that they can reach eg Southampton or Liverpool easily. That to me is the sensible way of doing it.

Kateykrunch so it would not be of value to you to meet me at a U3A. I am more than 10 years older than you so definitely would be of little value. I know my place.

There could well be a very good reason that people do not say where they are. Is there anyone else out there who is wary of sharing personal details including our personal whereabouts on any internet site, even on here? And yet ........ I suppose it is the only way to make contact with potential friends. Is there a good and safe way of doing this? I have not heard of one! I am constantly being told that nternet safety is not just for children and sadly this is a reflection of our times.

It was the bit where you said it was 'not of value' to you that stung. You didn't mention that it was the activities you weren't interested in. This thread is about friends not specific activities. Your thread read as though, because local U3A participants were older, you weren't interested.
Stick with U3A - set up your own group in something you are interested in?

Charleyfirl and Jane, I didnt say anything about the age of people, I stressed that I had tried MY local U3A and there was nothing that appealed to ME personally to get involved with, I dont want to make cards or knit, I would have liked to go on the free bus pass outings but as I aint got a bus pass then that would be cost prohibitive for me! Did you pick up on anything else I mentioned in post other than your imagined ageism?