Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

I do, but I don't have the energy to go down to the cellar. We have had baby granddaughter all day and I am shattered. Roses does your sailor friend have any kind FRIENDS who would be willing to bring me a little drink. They would be safe with me.

Pint of brandy coming up Roses, glad u could join me in the cellar, anyone else need a drink?

Haha Katek..... very Frankie Howerd! Oooh, ere missus.

The fuzz never come in here, and if they do look in they only come down ere in pairs.

No....that's the fuzz! You get it...the fuzz?? Oh, suit yourselves.

Is it too early for a pint( of brandy) only I had to come in now, as am going out later on.Sling a cherry in it, one of my five a day doncha know.
Who is that slumped over a table in the corner with a ferret curled up on their head, Chewy....is that you?

As the main bar is all cleaned up and I don't want you lot messing it up I propose a secret cellar party (now it's been exposed) but hey ho, it was your place to hang out and you have welcomed me in to the fold so this ones on me as a thank you.
Bloody hell im being nice, I must be pissed.

Hello Mary just popped in for an early black coffee ( was out on the razzle with my sailor friend last night) we ended up having tattoos! I had a tasteful anchor with his name on it ( on me arse) just a pity that the tattoo artist couldn't spell though,
As it says 'Dive' instead of Dave.I think the tattooist was an Aussie.

Good morning, fellow Argy, Bargies! I came for a night of fun last night and it was closed. I'm wondering if Menopaws was exhausted clearing up after everyone and decided to try the contents of the secret cellar.. Ooops, you didn't know about the cellar. Drat!
Do you think we should don our overalls and lend a hand?

I personally think that Chewey's Grayson is to blame, but she won't hear a bad word said about him.
It's better to keep the peace. Too exhausting to argue and good to be kind to each other..

Moi?

Careful, check the black pudding on the table is not Galens offerings, hey Marydoll did you have that bottle of galliano that was in the cupboard under the stairs, I was saving that for cocktail night?

I hope no-one is gossiping about us Remember Gransnett etiquette
Envy is such a destructive emotion. Be nice and we will share.

No good, probably!

Talking of lechers, where are Chewy and *MD? They are up to something

Or even leches!

Talking of letches....

I have to go....one of my sailor friends is in town!

Not those off the bar if you don't mind - I think we all know where they've been...

I will have a pint of Old Lecherous though - could do with a good old lech!

Anyone seen Georgette the ferret? I have a dish of left over black pudding for her.
Oh well, will leave it on the table for you all in case you get peckish.

Why, fank yew!
Have a beer on me, and a few peanuts.

I didn't know you wore glasses roses! They really suit you...

I make all my own roll ups too, ( said modestly) and the pink flowers for me hair.

Hey! Who said you could print me photo? I'll get fellas chasing me for months now!

Ok she can keep it as long as she makes me some lovely cookies to take home

No Menopaws , don't throw the medicinal stuff away! Despite what that dratted Marydoll alleges, it belongs to roses. She's been growing that in the cellar for months. She likes to nip outside every now and again for a roll up. Don't you roses? She won't mind sharing it with you though, she's been sharing it for weeks to some chaps who come in the bar.

I'm not cleaning anything until you lot have left after tonight's do, don't fancy doing it twice but I promise I will spend all day tomorrow on it and it will be lovely by the evening. Maybe the whiff is the medicinal snuff that someone hid under the bar behind the crisps....anyone?? I was going to keep it for myself but thought I'd better come clean now the cat is out of the bag/ferret is out of the knickers!