Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Oh dear, that Chewbacca should really keep control of her ferret, it seems to have taken advantage of the granny knickers!

It was indeed a very good DOO( Scottish grans will get the pun). Unfortunately at the moment I am fighting a losing battle with a ferret. We are both in a very dark place!?PS, I think I may have overindulged in the damson gin. I am finding it difficult to focus.

Would people be interested in my rendition of "The Ball of Kirriemuir"?
Those of a nervous disposition could shelter in the Ladies. I should say I would be rendering it in the conventional way not a la POGS

Marydoll are you still up for your usual rendition of My Brother Sylvest later? Went down well at the pigeon fanciers annual do last week, I heard.

?

Chew

The more the merrier! Cougars, ferrets, how exciting!

Cougars Anya? I said FERRETS.

Ash's mate (him wot makes the home-made gin) is on his way with supplies He's a bit nervous though as word has spread that there are a few cougars amongst the clientele.

Please be gentle with him 'ladies' ....

Oh dear, I am only wearing my faux pearls, liberty bodice and granny knickers. Will I be safe from his ferreting?I could always have another gin to blot out the experience. [?????????

Evening all, pint of snowball and a cherry for me please. OK if I bring me ferret in? He's very placid, won't bite. Dont worry if he gets a bit whiffy; he's going to 'av his scent glands "done" tomorrow, he'll definitely bite then. You might want to put some string round yer trouser legs; he does like small, warm dark places to run up.

Anyway after my trials today think I will try some of Petes Piddle followed by a grungy gramps chaser...its going to get messy

Well the judges were not blown away by his performance, but a couple of balloons where and half of the audience

I guess he didn't get four yesses then.

Did hear merlot that the balloons were not inflated until he got on stage, he proceeded to blow them up from his backside hiding his underwhelming modesty with a postage stamp stuck on it....

downtoearth

Looks as though you'll have to get another batch brewing, Anya, that tureen's going down very fast (hope there isn't a leak!...)

Pogs like your suggestion of naming the beer in honour of our friends

Now apparently I am supposed to be performing on the pole tonight but have to dissapoint as the washing line pole and I had a nasty accident, unfortunately it was a whirly washing line pole,I managed to twist myself so much that we took off like a helicopter,ended up in Bury st Edmunds with only minor injuries and had to get the bus back

Have I missed the balloon act? I did hear he's a reject from Britain's Got Talent and I so wanted to wear my Amanda Holden dress which plunges at the front only mine is ripped because I caught it on some barbed wire.

A very large G&T please for another ruined mother.

Well you are amongst many ruined mothers..*ourkid*..Lil was a very ruined mother...story goes that she had neat gin in her feeding bottles...and did the same to her unfortunate offspring Cyril Arbuthnot..a Thespian of dubious tendencies....Lil has asked if a rogues gallery of photos of our absent friends pete and gramps and feetlebaum, she did suggest a bust on the bar Iike the Queen Vic.

PS I usually wear 'pearls' but they're so fake that the string keeps breaking, so I've used a bit of garden twine. Do they break the dress code? I usually accessorise with my gardening jeans and clogs and Himself's old pyjama top.

I've never tasted gin and everyone thinks I should. Is this a good place to be indoctrinated into its delights? I have heard it's Mother's Ruin and I wouldn't mind being ruined - as long as it's not permanent. Not quite ready for that ... yet.

If I sound " very relaxed" I am just about coping, however I really really want to be in " the club" need a knees up and wonderful entertainment and more than that a real knees/p..s up with all my friends. As you were back to the bar and the booze and the " talent".

" Thank God that farting woman has run out of steam."

Well I may well have run out of steam for now but I may return later to show how I can play Chopsticks on the piano with my boobs.

More tea vicar.

Liberty bodice and granny knickers will be fine, Marydoll. You could probably still wear the pearls, as long as they're genuine fakes!