Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

time for filthy limericks
who needs kareoke

Was in way back after my pole-dancing class but decided to call in at the Cash & Carry for some supplies. Good deal on jellied eels and pigs trotters and 8 crates of Babcham past it's sell-by date by about 10 years I've also bought some joss sticks to get rid of the smell - very 1960s.

I thought I'd book us some acts - any suggestions? Someone mentioned a programme about Monty last night, but I think he's a trifle dry for us, and besides isn't he dead?

Strong black coffee all round to sober us up ( and carrot cake please barkeep!)????☕️☕️☕️☕️

Is someone buying a round?

Can't remember what I'm drinking but I'll have another one.

I'm a bit short just now.....five feet nothing, boom boom!

ahh home
a round for the house.
g&t with lime please

No! Leave the fire, we like it hot, we drink more that way.....now what are we playing, strip poker or Texas hold'em ? I'm up for ...oooh, fifty pee.

The fire has to be lit Bo, they heat the arrers for the dart board on it. Makes 'em sharper. Just make sure you duck when you see someone take aim.

Well howdy folks. Poker eah? Bit hot to have that there fire going aint it

Your go roses. What's your bet?

You won't have for long, now that Chewy is here with pockets and sleeves full of aces, hahah!

Come and sit over here Bo, we're playing poker. Got any cash on you?

Hello Bo waves madly from a bar stool, and falls off! ?Come and have a drink.

..don't really want to flounce out. Just not having a good day and really needed to join in with something and as Pete's Bar is open again and I could do with a gallon of scrumpy I thought I'd pop in for a pack of pork scratchings and lard sandwich for olde times sake but noone's talking to me here either.

Sorry, that smell's not coming from POGS's corner. T'pies have arrived.

I've never heard Wind Beneath My Wings played with such feeling.

Don't anyone light a fag.

What on earth is that tune?

Fart away, POGS, they won't be the first boring old farts on this thread.

Yes POGS you are onstage next, get ready.

Farting in tune sounds interesting POGS - all novelty acts welcome, don't hide your light under a bushel in the corner!

I am useless at Karaoke.

Hubby says I can fart in tune better than I can sing.

I'll continue as I did to sit in the corner with my Bicardi & Coke , with 4 ice cubes and hope the bar staff keep the ice supply going as Pete did.

Come on Rigby.... I hear you do a rousing Knees Up Mother Brown on request,
And it's karaoke night, you have the stage! (well, I say stage, it's actually an old apple crate.)Have a drink, hic ?

Well in the best traditions of all working men's clubs it's time for the bingo so you'd all better keep quiet or you'll be banned.

Or, as my pint of winkles is lying uneasily with my double brandy, maybe A Whiter Shade Of Pale is in order.

Hi gb started drinking at 6.30 so sorry for late reply.
Though the AB caff is not the place for apologies I will also apologise for praising the queen - but I paid penance by joining a Twitter storm against air miles Andy. Very satisfying - what a complete and utter prat he is. How jolly all this reminiscing is about the past and what a lovely thing to share with us newbies. Such fun. . I don't think some of you have quite got the point of the ABC - never mind, I expect you want to join in in case we are complaining about how nice you are behind your backs