Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Actually, Jamilla, I'll come clean. The firefighter has nothing left to give. I think I may have worn him out.

He was mine first - before even rosesarered took a fancy to him.
No, the Admiral only will do for me thanks.

'All the nice girls love a sailor
All the nice girls love a tar
For there's something about a sailor
'Cos you know what sailors are
Bright and breezy, free and easy,
He's the ladies' pride and joy.

like you lot really (free and easy)

So you've finished with the bikers now Marydoll ? In the photo further back, you and roses seemed to be "heavily involved" with the biker boys. By the way, which one is you?

Jamilla, I don't mean to be rude, but I have an arrangement with Roses that I get the cast offs, unfortunately for you, the Admiral is mine. However, I can find you a nice firefighter, I have grown tired of him.

Fake mink knickers
Tattoos on rear ends
Biker grannies brawling in the street

This place just gets more upmarket by the hour

ferret?
Those are my new fake mink knickers.

Surely she doesn't want all the nice sailor boys?

I'll settle for the Admiral in the corner thanks.

No ooooooh Jalima ! For heaven's sake don't chat up the sailors, roses will get mad with jealousy and will wrestle you to the ground in a nano second. And would you mind not sitting on my ferret?

Me? I was just sitting in the corner quietly drinking my pint of gin of elderflower pressé.

'Ooh - Hello Sailor, you look like a nice young man'

jalima were you involved in that fracas outside?
Here roses, have a pint of Martini Ross on. I've stuck a plum tomato on a stick in it; we've run out of cherries.

The shame of it! This is a very respectable bar roses and you and Marydoll shouldn't be brawling in the streets on your zimmer frames. What with arse sized tattoos and sailor friends, you'll be having this esteemed establishment raided by the cops soon. And then what will we do with all those topiary plants we're growing under arc lights and tin foil?

Cindi Lauper going full blast in the background, turn up the record player spotify someone and make it quick!

Now get behind that bar Chewy and start pulling pints...and while we are at it, get that little blighter Geoffrey out of the peanut bowl.

I cannot tell a lie, it is me and Marydoll.......... girls just wanna have fun!

You certainly look "hot" in that photo roses! Is that you on the far left?

Needless to say, my sailor boys think I am hot stuff!

Actually, now you've wiped the nicotine off the window, the ones with the biker chains, studs and tattoos looks a bit like roses and Marydoll don't they?

Well, I could tell you where the dragon's flame is.....but that would be an inflammatory remark , heehee.??????

It's all done in the best possible taste, as the late great Kenny Everett was wont to say.?

Exciting cos I'm imagining they are fighting over me but now I wipe the nicotine off the window and put on my glasses you are right it is two of the local bikers! Oh well fun for a while

Exciting? The one with the studs and chains and piercings had his knee in that old man's chest! Which one is yours Menopaws ? The old chap or the Hells Angels lookalike? they both looked a bit dodgy

Yes Mary he does have a friend but I'm saving him as a backup

Oh bugger my silver fox is arguing with his son....how exciting!

I'm cracking up here!

Two pints of Cherry B please, with a saucer for me ferret. There's a punch up going on out in the street. Anyone know what's going on?

Roses, where about on your arse is the flame?