Displaying emotions

Every council in the land should have in place a Disaster Control Plan/Major Emergency Plan which should swing into action - what has happened that of Kensington &Chelsea?

This council seems to have a problem with listening to people.

In 2009 the Evening Standard reported:

"BLIND people and the elderly are being put at risk by a council removing pavement kerbs, it was claimed today.

"Kensington and Chelsea has merged the pavements and road outside Sloane Square station and has similar plans for Exhibition Road in South Kensington.

"The "shared space" schemes are supposed to give cyclists and pedestrians more room and encourage drivers to go slower.

"However, residents and disabled groups including Guide Dogs for the Blind Association have launched a campaign to reverse the changes."

Needless to say, the scheme went ahead and in 2015 The Architects Journal reported:

"A new House of Lords report has called for a moratorium on any new ‘frightening and intimidating’ shared space schemes

"Overzealous councils are risking public safety with fashionable, ‘simplified’ designs for shared spaces, according to the document Accidents by Design: The Holmes Report into Shared Space.

"After finding ‘overwhelmingly negative’ experiences from the public, the report’s author, blind paralympic swmming champion Chris Holmes has called for an immediate ban on new schemes.

"Holmes branded the projects, such as Dixon Jones’s innovative Exhibition Road streetscape in Kensington, an ‘architectural conceit’.

"The study claims that of the 523 drivers, cyclists and pedestrians polled by researchers, the overwhelmingly majority were opposed to the schemes with 63 per cent of people rating their experience as ‘poor’. The report also noted a significant under-reporting of accidents occuring in shared spaces."

The cost of this "architectural conceit" (or, as some might call it, "vanity project") has been somewhere in the region of £30 million.

Of course, this is not in the same category as the terrible Grenfell Tower horror but it demonstrates the way in which ordinary people's fears are ignored.

I don't think it is just a problem with Conservative Councils but I think the Kensington & Chelsea Council's behaviour is particularly reprehensible given the vast amount of money it has at its disposal - accrued because it has made substantial cuts to public services and projects.

I know people, mostly younger people who post on Facebook when a so called celeb dies or a tragedy occurs. They put RIP so and so even though they don't know them, it's as if they need to show they have feelings. To me it's all false and just for show. This doesn't mean I don't feel I just don't need to let everyone else know.

How many homes are needed ?

Silly me, I had forgotten that Royal prerogative trick. English MP's used it to take a whole Welsh valley, flood farms and a village, told the villagers to dig up their dead or accept the graves would be under a resavoir because Liverpool needed more water.

Does that mean you object to it being used to house the people who have lost their homes in this disaster Anniebach. Might be nice if it could do some good for a change.

This thread about displaying emotions and how we feel about them has turned into thread abounding with emotions and some of it doesn't make good reading.

Emotions have nothing to do with hugging which is now so fashionable. Kissing has alsways been a way of life in France where groups of 10 people very often kiss every one before sitting down to a meal.

I hate seeing those mounds of flowers as I can't imagine how a bunch of flowers still in their plastic wrapping can ease any kind of emotion. (The florists are pleased)

I must be more like TM and you can see than she has shed many tears in private and in my opinion that should be enough. She has work to do and gets only criticism,
We are in a sad state when you have to weep in public before anyone believes you have sympathy. She gets a lot of criticism from people who have never been at an office desk where in spite of tears you had to make difficult decisions.

Good post Margaret??

I agree, very good post Margaret and it also gets us back to the OP, as I for one was wandering away from it.

People are saying that TM 'looks ill' and her eyes look 'baggy' etc - yes, she probably has shed many tears but, like the Queen, sheds them in private.

although, may I just say, in response to Elegran, I remember seeing something on the news or another programme about the 'Shared Space' scheme and how dangerous they are for pedestrians as there is no definition between the road and where pedestrians may safely walk.

Bravo Margaret, and thank you for replying to the question, I agree with all your post, May was vilified for not speaking to victims the first day, she spoke to the rescue workers to see if they had what was needed .

I don't like the flowers and toys left at scenes, and I cannot hear - I 'feel your pain ' without swearing at such an empty statement, we cannot feel another's pain, fact.

Trisher, I am against those houses being taken, not to protect the rights of the house owners but the reasons put forward on this forum for doing so. There has been no discussion just - let's take the houses off the wealthy, communism at it's worse because it is based in hatred and envy not on justice.

I think most of this emotional outpouring is the invention of the media and the young who think due to the media it's a requirement and the way to behave. The press do not cover and promote the British stoical and dignified approach to tragedy. My father who suffered and saw many horrors in the war didn't keep trotting them out, he downplayed them or didn't go into detail - I don't need to know more detail than it was hell. Escapees from the Tower saying it was Hell won't sell papers or news reports though, so the press are encouraged to go into graphic detail for our mawkish tendencies, the outpouring of raw emotion demands similar in return to appear empathetic. I'm not unfeeling I have cried at the loss of life, but sorry if I was in a disaster I wouldn't mind the PM or the Queen leading the Nation in a message of sympathy etc. Even a "private visit" that's their job, but various celebs, local dignatories and politicians - most of whom should be jailed after this or the publicity seeking hugs of strangers is not required. I would expect that an Army field kitchen would have been sent for survivors and rescuers to use, the LA and WRVS etc to sort out practicalities and enlist other official help when needed etc. And the media circus and rubber neckers can go and gawp at someone else's tragedy. My kids are glued to events wringing their hands and empathising - a young and very American thing encouraged by social and traditional media I would rather help if I can than be a voyeurs, and I prefer to change channels and leave them with some dignity to grieve - I feel it no less but my empathy helps no one. I'd rather pay my respects, help if I can and then contribute to a prosecution fund.

I don't see that it's anybody else's business how people show their emotions. I think this is a very sad thread that has just given people a chance to be judgemental about other people's motives in a rather unpleasant fashion.

I do think it is up the the 'leaders' in a country to show concern and support for citizens in such tragic and overwhelming circumstances, if only to let them know that their plight isn't being ignored and that they will be helped. Whether they do it by hugging, a touch, or just listening is up to their individual style. It is their presence and empathy that matters. Ignoring the people most affected is not good.

I don't agree MazieD as I think the thread was just trying to show that we are all different and not joining in with an out pouring of emotion should not be judged as not caring.

We are all very different in how we react to bad news/tragic events. Hugging, kissing and weeping in public, might be some peoples way of dealing with it, whereas, someone else might prefers to cry in private whilst quietly doing something practical to help.

But some make it their business , and if it's judgemental to say one doesn't need to publicly show cincern then you Maizie are being judgemental in your post by claiming a show of empathy is what matters.

I think it's all more nuanced than this - and however we react does not mean necessarily that we are more or less likely to do something practical to help. They are I think two different and unrelated things. We can't infer that crying in private = doing something practical quietly ( and vice versa). And I agree with Maizie leaders should show presence and empathy. That's not judgemental, more a basic requirement of leadership ( and her comment was about leaders not the general public)

That's a bit of a leap Annie from what Maizie said to your summary.

I agree with her and quite honestly your responses give me the impression that all you want is for people to agree with you and tell you that you are right. The thread is going around in circles, so I don't see the point of posting anymore.

I agree with Rigby and Maizie: it wasn't necessary for TM to cry/hug etc. but she was seriously out of order in not talking to survivors of the fire in addition to the emergency services during her first visit.

Then I can only suggest you find a thread less boring for you Wilma,

As for me wanting people to agree with me , that is so funny, there is a number of sycophants on this forum and you accuse me of wanting anyone to serge with me , got thst wrong didn't you

Seriously out of order? What orders?

You know as well as I do that that is a turn of phrase, Annie, unless you don't know what 'out of order' means.

It is a rather silly turn of phrase sorry. To me it means behaving in an unacceptable manner which causes disruption or offence to others.

I do not think not talking to survivors on the first day but talking to emergency services to see if their requirements were met was 'seriously out of order ' and I respect the fact she did it without the need for cameras.

It's an interesting thread actually, as it's about human feelings, although I do wonder if T May had been a Labour Leader, would there have been calls ( from left wing voters) for her to do more, to openly empathise more etc.

To return to the OP: yes, I agree. That's not to dismiss the need to support each other or the need for better mental health provision, but the stiff upper lip was part of what made Britain great.

However, I don't think we can keep politics out of what is happening now. The grief of those involved with the Grenfell Tower disaster and the sympathies of the nation have been hijacked by John McDonnell to promote the insurrection by Labour that he has been on about ever since they were thrashed two years ago. It's another instance of brainwashing by media.

Theresa May is out of fashion now so nothing that she can do will be right.

rar I don't think so, no, as JC was interacting with residents