Presents for Adult Working Grandchildren

We're not quite at that stage as the older ones are at uni and have holiday jobs. I send Amazon tokens instead of cash.

The eldest one will soon be graduating though and has just landed a well paid job so I will probably buy a present rather than send money or vouchers because I can reduce the amount without it being obvious.

I stopped when they got to 18 I was told by my eldest grandson in no uncertain terms that he was earning now and I'd been buying gifts all his life it was time to stop so I have. None of them have minded or commented now there are only 2 with one on the way who are under 18 but of course I now buy for 2 Great Grandsons with more on the way it does seem it will be never ending

I don't even buy for my two sons now they are in their thirties and with a much larger income than DH and I. Instead, I invite them to ours for a meal of their choice. Rather strangely perhaps, I do give the two DiLs a token bunch of flowers on their birthdays - in a way, it is in recognition of their part in seeing that I get at least a card on my own birthday

I have always given my three children and seven grandkids £100 each for birthdays and C.... since the 90 s I only have my pension but don't have many needs myself so although it sounds a lot it's amazing how little it buys once they get to teenage years I don't buy for the inlaws that comes out of the £100 which they can do what they like with share it out or buy something for the home at C....and I send them a token birthday pressie it's true my kids earn mor.e than me but for me it's my treat Two kids and five grandkids live abroad so sending presents is hard and I can't take them out to dinner or a show during the year
I expect to keep sending as they re still my grandkids and kids !

My close family get a birthday gift or money of around £100. DH and I don't give each other presents. At Christmas the DGD get a reasonable present and we give DD ( aged 50) and her husband and DS ( aged 46) and his wife £1000. We do this because we can .

No grandchildren, but I stopped giving birthday and Christmas presents to my niece and nephews when they all reached 21. I feel a little bit mean, but they're all grown up now. My aunty stopped giving me gifts when I became an adult.

I have never been one to spend fortunes on birthdays or at Christmas...even when they were young. I have now decided on £20 for my three children, their partners and my six grandchildren. The younger four get gifts and the older two get money. I have spent more on my eldest daughter this birthday...she is 40 today A gift and money.

Absolutely not. A gift, regardless of age is a good and happy gesture from one to another for what ever reasoning. You don't need to spend the same but rather something that is personal to each one. Adults still love getting gifts. Even a gift of a family gathering is so lovely. Don't stop giving if you can and enjoy doing so.

I only have one 2 year old grandchild but innumerable nephews and nieces. They all get £10 for birthdays and Christmas which rises to £20 when they reach 18 and finishes with £100 on their 21st. After that it's a card. They all know and all are extremely appreciative, especially the step children. After 21 they know not to expect anything, my pension is finite but their numbers keep increasing. (smile)

I stopped when nieces and nephews started earning, and told them I'd help out buying something for their first home etc, which to a certain extent I have done, but this is more to do with need than equality.
Now they have children of their own, it's starting over again, which is great as so far I have a relationship with each child. Not sure how I'd feel if I'd never met the child, say they were in USA

I stopped sending anything to my niece when I telephoned to ask if she had received her card and money (why do we do this when they should be contacting us as a thank you ! ) and asked if she had a nice day of had anything planned and she replied ' What's it to do with you ! Ah well money saved.

Niece/nephews I stopped gifts when they reached 18. When I had contact with eldest son and his children I gave him a smaller gift than before the children came along, the children had more but still kept the costs down to a sensible amount for them too.

My younger son gets a birthday and christmas present as he is still single. He earns a lot more than I do but as I only buy for him and a small gift for my Dad these days it's not a great spend. Myself and OH don't buy for each other.

Thank you for all the answers. I have decided to go with vouchers and reduced the amount.

I see a lot of people advocate finishing present giving at 18 I can understand that for your extended family nieces nephews etc especially if they aren't close but children and grandkids are part of you for ever I can't visualise not wanting to give my precious kids a birthday and C... present just because they are grown up
I gave my mum and dad presents until the day they died and they me in fact my dad died two weeks afer my birthday I kept the money he gave me for about three years before I could bear to spend it the card with his last message to me is on my bedroom wall

I'm in a quandary about this too. I only have three grandchildren, all adult now and I still give them £20 for their birthdays. I buy presents for my daughters and son. Quandary is this, my daughter who is the mother to the three grandchildren hasn't sent my son a small gift for the last two years, he's younger than her eldest child ( I know, complicated) and I still give something to her three. I know this is petty but I feel slightly miffed by it. My other daughter also stopped and also stopped giving to her nephews/nieces (same three) since they became adults. I'm perfectly happy about that, she's treated them all the same and doesn't have children of her own that I've been spending on.
I'd never mention it to my oldest daughter as we have a loving close relationship but still, it niggles.
My eldest daughter still gives a present to her sister but not her half brother (my son)
Am I being unreasonable in my feelings?

i stopped giving to nephews and nieces a very long time ago. i used to look for ages to match the present to the child and my children just seemed to get rubbish in return.
i have a maximum of £25 each for christmas for everyone [daughter, son, daughter in law and four grandaughters]. daughter, son and daughter in law get £20 cash for their birthdays but generally grandaughters get a present - although the oldest one at 15 is difficult to buy for so, this year for the first time, she got cash. but it's around £20 even so.
i have never gone overboard on presents for children or grandchildren - my daughter does spend more than i do on her daughters though.

Yes, I stopped when my nieces started earning proper money in good careers, in their late twenties. I give the money to their children now.

I spend about £30 on children and their spouses, and also on the grandchildren. My siblingsand DHs siblings and partners get £15 presents (and send the same amount often as vouchers) . Stopped sending to nephews and neices when they grew uo and had their own children. I now send around £15 to great nephews and neices but as they are showing no signs of marrying or having children I decided to stop for the oldest when they were 21. Still buy toys etc for little ones and usually vouchers for teenagers (amazon, music or book tokens or as requested eg claires accessories, wh smith, itunes.)
Some of them never acknowlwdge receipt, let alone send thanks! But our own GC do, or their parents do.
Im amazed some send £100- we have close family of over 30 to send to and feel we spend a fortune at Christmas as it is!

I'm thinking about stopping this year. I have 2 nieces who are 29 and 31. They rarely thank me for the gifts or vouchers I send them and although they have both left home I get a card at Christmas and Birthdays from my sister with their names tagged on, which I think is a little bit mean. The eldest niece is in Australia at the moment for a year and I put myself out to make sure she got a gift and a card there for Christmas and a card for her Birthday, but still didn't get a thank you.

Also can't really afford it now that OH has taken early retirement!

Personally, I think it's all about reciprocity, and I don't mean in terms of money spent. In my second marriage I took on the role of buying for hubby's nieces, and as time has gone on, I have done this for their children too. I do this as well as for those on my own side of the family, all of whom have been brought up to say thank you for a gift of any kind. However, all the effort I have put into sourcing appropriate presents isn't always acknowledged. For example, sending gifts to the house so they arrive on the day, knowing for certain that they have done so and then never actually receiving so much as a phone call in thanks. I have decided over the last year not to do this again. Those who have the common courtesy to pick up the phone and spend just five minutes of their time expressing their gratitude will continue to earn an hour of my time as I think about what they might like and do the ordering. Those who are too wrapped up in themselves to bother, can do without. Surely, there's a moral education in all of this. My hubby's cousin who is 76 has hit on the same policy. In our discussions we find it's always the same ones who never acknowledge the gifts so they're ungratefulness has become the deciding factor - not their age, or how much we can afford.

I was brought up to believe that a gift isn't yours until you've said thank me you for it. I've taught my ds 1and ds2 the same. They are adults and I still give to them. I would even if they didn't reciprocate. But not if they didn't say thank you.. My nieces,also adults, have never thanked us. They don't get gifts. My sister is not happy about it and has stopped giving to my kids because of it.

With 8 children and 20 grandchildren plus greatgrands I couldn't afford to be as generous as some. But it is £20 each Christmas and Birthdays until they are 16 and then £50 on their 18th and 21st birthdays. My children only get a card. My brother died last year so I now treat his two grandchildren like mine and put money in their bank accounts for birthdays and Christmas.

I always send gifts to family for b/days and Christmas. and have done for some time. We have now reached the stage of what to do after ages 18/21 as three of the grandchildren and their partners are in their 20s while the two youngest are very young. The adult grandchildren/partners have very well paid jobs apart from one of them. What is making us re-think our gift giving is never a thank you. One grandson always sends a little message ..not so the others. Receive thank you from our adult children. My sister says thank you on behalf of all her family but that is not the point. I have started sending parcels to them via Tracking service so at least I know they have arrived. I am not a mean person by nature but my attitude to gift giving is changing. As a child we always sent thank you"s for all our gifts and brought our children up to do the same. We just have our pensions but enjoy buying for them all.....now our attitudes to this are in conflict with our previous generosity.

Stopped giving my grandchildren presents years ago.... oFten forgot/ got the date wrong. The solution is to hand out £20 each when I see them