GNHQ please make it clear that these forums are public!

'Having a fit of the vapours' ?

I'm sorry, I must be rather naive, but I've never heard the term pearl clutching before. It appears that it's not very complimentary but what exactly does it mean?

It is used on the political threads quite often BlueBelle but the poster who used it very regularly seems to have disappeared (clutching his/her pearls no doubt ) as we are all 'beyond the pale'.
Whatever that means.

Never heard that word before (well we live and learn) but the post sounded condescending Willsmadnan of course we knew it was public and anyone could read posts but it's very different to being linked,

Well said Jalima. It's a demeaning term which reinforces the stereotype that we all get an attack of the vapours at the slightest thing, whereas in fact those of us of a more "mature" age are a lot tougher than people take us for. I think we are justified in being concerned that when we post on here it is likely to appear on a site many of us are not members of.

willsmadnan it may not be rocket science, but clearly many people do not/did not understand that what they post on here might be shared on another public forum, including notoveryet who posted yesterday at 11:47.

P.S. I don't own any pearls to clutch. I do sometime spin my pearl ring around when I am deep in thought.

Agreed.

I am sick and tired of people using the term pearl-clutching.

It is stupid, ridiculous, patronising and meaningless and used by anyone who thinks someone else's concerns are of little value or concern.

I don't think one necessarily needs to be unburdening for info to be possibly recognisable. I certainly haven't: I'm not even a particular regular user, but nonetheless I think I could have given away a fair bit of info, as have lots of people.

Surely the answer to this 'pearl- clutching' reaction is to make sure you understand how the internet works, and don't unburdened yourself on a public forum. It's not rocket science. If I Google my user name on any of the forums I use, I 'find' myself, as I do when I do the same with my professional name as a blogger and features writer for online magazines. Anything I have written in the last 10 years is there to see.

Definitely, a chat is better.

My adult children know I'm on GN but don't know my user name.
I don't think they look at GN but who knows what might pop up in front of them on FB or worse - I saw a Mumsnet thread featured on MSN today.

If I wanted to post something personal, I'd change details to disguise it but if that wasn't possible I'd have to abandon the idea.

All that will left to contribute to are the most mundane: reinforcing some peoples idea that over 50 means nobody has anything of worth to say. Nobody has a sex life (or would like one!) Nobody feels jealous, or behaves childishly, or wonders if they're doing the right thing. Nobody ever fancies someone they shouldn't, or has too much to drink...

Yes we can pm, but personally I think it's better when there is a group chat, you read other peoples comments and respond, it can all help the person needing advice.

What a pity.
The site will end up with nothing more interesting in threads than 'what colour marigolds do you wear for washing up'

I am currently going through something which I would have liked to have posted and received GNs advice and support. I won't do that now.

Yes, that's an option. I prefer to have a 'chat' though, by far, and about more than bland subjects..

It is always possible to send a PM to someone you want to support. They only get your GN name on it, not your real name or email address, unless you choose to include that.

That was meant to say 'many' threads.

Same for me. I'm not a huge poster, haven't made any threads, but was beginning to relax and share a little more. That wont be happening much now.

It has changed how I use GN. I won't open up about anything personal, either to ask for help myself, or to support/help someone else. Not unless I can be assured it won't be shared on social media by HQ. Very sad to deny support to people who are sometimes in quite a desperate lonely situation.

Was that what mcem was asking about...?

Maybe GNHQ are listening- they have only lifted 2 GN threads onto Twitter in last 3 days and they are the good friend one and mobile phone etiquette.

Well they haven't bothered to let us know, if they are.
More likely they're keeping a low profile at the moment, waiting for us to forget about it.

I do use Fb quite a lot with family and friends and actually love it but do NOT want the two social media forums mixed I use FB mainly for sharing photos and happy things whereas here I look for empathy, information hopefully some helpful thoughts and yes sometimes a kick up the bum I wouldn't share deep problems on fb I might share missing a train or being awake at 2 instead of 7am but I wouldn't go much deeper
I would want and expect both of these to be entirely seperate and if that's not possible I would expect to at least have to give my permission to belong to both
Gransnet is making a big mistake to mix and match as obviously by the posts on here the vast majority don't want it and it will sorely deplete the depth of passion and problems shared between us older folks
Think carefully how to manage this HQ it's not working with us at the moment