Feeling upset with my DD

Does the Kindle Fire have a cover? If not then buy a nice one for her and take that on the day. You can gently remind her the KF was from you and the cover will protect it against being dropped etc.

I can tell your feeling fragile because of your DH's illness and regular hospitalisation. Why don't you tell your DH how you feel and ask him not to add to your stress by making an issue if this. What's done is done.

You've had a hard 9 months and were trying to do your best for your dgd's birthday. Your (not so) dd behaved extremely badly - it wouldn't have hurt dgc to wait for the new tablet ( quite the reverse in fact). I understand that you want to avoid it escalating so can you have a word with dd before the birthday and explain why dh is so upset and what might help make it better ( the letter or a phone call from dgd). And what on earth is your SIL on about about? 'Gift giving with conditions attached?'. It was a birthday present . If I were you I'd be hopping mad - just not acceptable behaviour and I hope DD is clear on this point

Hear Hear Monica !!

Olene, why are people who live in the 'first world' not allowed to have problems?

Can you put your hand on your heart and say that you never ever get upset or distressed about anything because you are so glad you live in the first world? I doubt I would believe you if you did.

A grandparent being upset when a treat for a grandchild goes wrong is not particular to the 'first world' (whatever that may be), it happens and has happened in every culture, worldwide since time began. The nature this problem presents will vary from culture to culture and the financial, social and other circumstances of the families involved. But the problem is the same and the sadness is the same whether you live in the first, second, third, fourth or twenty sixth world.

Perhaps you could buy a tiny present to open on the day but make sure that she knows that the Kindle Fire is from you - write something in her card as someone suggested.

It is very generous of you! In fact, we have got DGD a token this year, she's not much older but has very decided views on what she likes and dislikes! and a small gift to open as a surprise.

A couple of years ago I gave my grandson some money to spend at Harry Potter World instead of giving him an Easter Egg. A while later he said 'granny, you didn't give me an Easter Egg', but remembered what had happened when I explained it to him. So I realised that, if you don't actually hand a child a present, they don't realise who it's from, even if they've been told. It isn't that I want gratitude from the child for giving the present, just that I hate the thought of them thinking that I hadn't bothered to get them one. I agree that it's a case of putting this behind you and saying nothing, but do understand why you're upset; I would be, too.

I can understand how youre feeling. It would be a lot easier if your loved ones would just all do what's expected so as not to 'rock the boat' . Its horribly stressful to be walking on eggshells when none of it is your doing.

So the consensus is to let it go. I'd agree with you and if it was just me, I would. But DH is the sort of person who will jump first and ask questions later! He once fell out with his sister over their mother's funeral and we haven't spoken to her since! (And that must have been over 20 years ago now!) I will just have to tell him before we go, and hope it doesn't spoil his day too much. GD knows we bought it for her (according to DD). Maybe we will get a thank you card before we visit which would help to explain it to him!
Maybe I'm just being too emotional over this - I still have nights when I cry myself to sleep over DH's hospitalisation.

Disagree you're right

It was thoughtless but probably not deliberate , just practical. Follow Norahs good advice re a note in the card; ask her to show you/DH how she is using the Kindle and enjoy the chat etc. In the great scheme of things its not really worth an argument is it ? Hopefully your DH can see that too ....more important things in life! I am so glad that he is recovering.

I agree with most people on here - let it go, life's too short. I don't have a problem with the gift being given early (spaces them out a bit) but I do think DD should have run it past you first.

Olene-your post really isn't helpful to anyone!
Agree with others. Let it go and enjoy your GD's birthday.

I agree with other posters It's naughty when things like this are done but not worth getting into a row about
I too think they should have made her wait a week or two weeks whatever the time difference was and given it to her on her birthday but as you had to put it in their hands and out of your own control there's not much you can do
I d make sure I wrap everything and give it on the day for the next time and let the Dad sort it out after she's opened it It's one of those many things that seem like a good idea at the time
Have a good time at her birthday it's not her fault

Agree with other posters, just let it go. I understand, think I would also have been surprised and probably initially upset but please don't let it spoil your granddaughters birthday or your enjoyment of being with her. I think writing a little explanation in the card will make sure you are recognised as the giver and if you want to why not take a little additional gift with you for 'the day', something inexpensive that will make her laugh maybe. I can understand your concern about telling your husband, his health is not good and you anticipate he wont understand. All you can do is explaint it was needed as her other had broken and let him get over his reaction before the day. If necessary just remind him it isn't your granddaughters fault and it just isn't worth falling out with the family because of it. Yes, times have changed, sometimes we need to run to keep up. Hope you have a lovely time on the birthday.

I would let it go over my head. You bought your grandchild what she wanted, and you have enough on your plates to concentrate your energies on: namely yourselves.

You gave the FIRST Birthday gift, well done!

Say nothing, there is nothing to say. In the Birthday card write how happy you are to have replaced her fire when it was broken with her first gift for this Birthday!

Wow Olene that's harsh !

It may not matter to you but it obviously matters to MadGrandma . It might be 'petty' to you but as it didn't happen to you it's easy to say that .

I think it's just one of those things Mad , it's done . Feigning illness will just mean you missseeing your GD on her birthday . Take a small token gift and tell her as she had her kindle early this is just an ' on the day gift' .

First world problems........
Cannot believe the amount of petty posts on GN today.
MadGrandma - You're thinking of feigning illness???? Seriously? It's your family. In the scale of things it doesn't matter a jot.
............And people wonder how estrangement starts and swear they did nothing wrong....

I think it's a shame and a bit thoughtless too. I agree with MissAdventure it did used to be so exciting having a birthday, children have and many expect so much these days, the anticipation of the event is gone.

Make light of it if you can and call it a non birthday birthday present.

Oh it does seem a shame, but I think things are very different nowadays regarding presents, and suchlike. It used to be soo exciting leading up to a birthday, when I was a child. It seems to be 'easy come, easy go' these days, with regard to new things.