Grandsons school uniform

I've been collecting burrs and thistle head down to line the children's vests with ready for winter. If it's tightly packed into their knickers and vests, it saves on having to buy them winter coats. You can seal it in around the edges with warm rashers of bacon which is reusable for their breakfasts come Spring. Nothing's wasted in this house.

I cannot help but notice that in the main, you have been focusing on uniform and kit.

Perhaps we ought to be looking at the curriculum? Of course Tarquin and Araminta will be doing Latin, Ancient Greek and Art Appreciation as standard, in addition to the usual subjects demanded by today's misguided Ministry , but will be also be doing falconry, shooting and archery. (Advanced beard trimming a la Shoreditch Hipsters is an optional extra, as is Pearl Polishing Instructions for servants.)

I was somewhat disconcerted whilst speaking to a villager in the shop (very good artisan bread, with the poppy seeds guaranteed organic, locally sourced AND fair trade, apparently for every 20 loaves produced, they get an environmentally friendly biodegradable smock)

Anyway, I digress, Chardonnay was telling me that her son Dwayne, who will be going to the local school (non boarding, apparently? They must truly adore him to want him at home every day)

Well, the after school activities sound a bit odd to me, of course there are ball games (sans lacrosse, sadly) but no archery, fencing, polo, or even deportment for the gels!

It would seem that rather than the social skills that one would think would be important, etiquette, diction, knowing how to address foreign dignitaries or members of the Royal Family, dress code for Ascot etc, they are encouraged to learn such things as mechanics and motor maintenance At this rate, chauffeurs will be a dying breed.

Are you sure this is right phoenix ? It all seems rather bizarre to me. No diction? At all? But they'll grow up saying "yar right?", instead of "Good afternoon my man, how are you today"? Surely they don't want there children going into "trade"? faints at the thought

No wonder so many people can be heard saying "You can't get the staff" if the common children are going into trade and not into service.

What do common people eat I wonder? I have heard that pies are poular ( but have no idea about fillings) game perhaps, or fillet steak?
My little darlings were amazed to discover that not everybody eats couscous or lentil and white bean soup! I know, weird.?