Vaguely disgruntled

Three weeks after our wedding DH and I were invited to a party by one of my work colleagues. This was after a chat about our respective spouses and a general remark about how broad minded they were.
We turned up to what appeared to be a nice summer party and we're introduced as the newly weds..... I soon became evident what kind of party it was. ?
We made our excuses and left.... We weren't THAT broad minded!

*it

How awful ... but funny to look back on ...

By the by ... l quite like a bit of vague disgruntlement ... sometimes it is good to be taken out of our comfort zone, especially when we can follow up with a touch of righteousness indignation. Hah! I am obviously in a provocative mood today , which is perhaps just as well as l need to advocate for a family member at the drs. Taking on the woeful lack of mental health care in a new burrough today. Whoopee!

Jehovah's Witnesses, don't call at our house, they call at the other houses in the close but miss ours out. I wonder if it was something I said.

Eglantine19, this tea party wasn't in the church grounds was it.

I'm afraid I'd have made an excuse and left, but then I'm that sort of person.

Too often these kind of people take advantage of our good nature and our reluctance to be impolite.

Apparently all faiths have 'targets figures' now so sadly possible recruitment will go on in the most inappropriate gatherings.

You had a lovely time with lovely people. You enjoyed it & you chose not to go again. Sorry, I don't see a problem. Everyone is different.

The problem is that the tea party is not what it seemed and that a Christian group, who should have embraced honesty and transparency, used it to try to convert people. It was dishonest and underhand and unworthy of them.

Agree with you - and I do go to church. As it was clearly 'the point' of the little garden party, you should have been told earlier. I often am invited or go to, events that are fun but also for some cause or other - but it is always made clear what the set up is. Your time and good will have been exploited. You need to let 'them' know how you feel about this. I don't believe it can really be an effective way of bringing people into faith - more likely to put them off.

Religion is a strange subject to talk about and some people think it's a subject that should not be talked about. However, it's part of people's lives and why shouldn't they talk about it, if they feel strong about it. Some faiths, feel the need to share their love of it as I suppose, they perhaps they want you to join their happiness and not harmful in anyway. I presume everyone at the tea party were adults and therefore, if it's not for you, then you enjoyed the feast and perhaps the company with no harm done as they are only showing you their love of a subject.

Very sneaky, but so many religious people are so obsessed with their religion that they just can't accept others lack of interest. I would have stated at the time that I am an atheist and not the least bit interested. I have a very close friend who has found religion after a traumatic time. She asked me to go to church with her just once, which I did, then she just accepts that it all just means nothing to me.

Trust your instincts. If you felt you were being used you were and on the evidence you have provided it was certainly 'tea with strings'.

I'd think twice about joining any group which had to resort to such tactics.

Beware 'nice' people.

Years ago my husband and I were invited to supper with people he knew from work. To our surprise they started doing an Amway demonstration. They weren't even embarrassed that they'd hoodwinked us. By the way, Amway is a cleaning range.

Yes I would have been peeved. I would have politely said it was not for me & left. I would also tell 'friend' that although it was a nice afternoon I would have appreciated fore-knowledge that I would be preached at.

I'm an atheist but my mantra is - if you don't use it , you'll lose it- and what it will be replaced with will truly be far worse. Think about that before you criticise. I've just been to a lovely Christening in a C of E church for my second granddaughter. It didn't make me believe or want to attend church other than for special occasions but it made me remember to appreciate the tradition of it .

That crowd had some brass neck assuming that a) you had spare time to give to their cause and b) you were remotely interested.

You're right to be ruffled, it makes you wise after the event! It makes you question the integrity of folk who think its reasonable to act in the way they did.

Hope your next invitations are genuinely great fun. x

He in VERY rural France we have two women JW who call to see my husband - mother and daughter. Had I spoken to them the first time they came they would never have darkened our door again but DH is too nice to them and is always up for a chat! They do not talk about religious things and I think they use him to up their quota for the month. I never go out to see them - just hide indoors!
We have our religion and do from time to time go to church together and I have suggested he tells them this but he has so far not done so.

It sounds a bit like the 'time share' days out from years ago. One minute you're enjoying a drink and some nibbles, overlooking the sea, the next you've bought 2 weeks in the Costa Brava every October!

I am a Christian and a church goer. I cringed when I read your post. Of course people should have been told beforehand. Maybe something like: we're getting a group of friends together for a chat/nice afternoon and there will be a 5 minute talk and an invite, if anyone's interested, but there will be no pressure at all. It may be that your particular invitee forgot to mention that but others were told? I'm glad that you had a nice time but. like you, I would have felt I was invited under false pretences if nothing was said beforehand.
I agree with pp who said it would be a good idea if you gave some feedback on how your felt - probably helpful for all concerned.
Also thank you to quizqueen's post too .. an important point I think.

Churches as a sentimental tradition??

A few years ago now, a new C of E vicar arrived in our small town, and set his congregation off to 'evangilise'. Two of my good friends overnight turned every lunch, every trip out, into a constant attempt to get me to go to their church. It was painful for me, as I didnt want to be rude, and I thought embarassing for them.
2 years into the new vicars 'posting', he got moved, suddenly. He had caused a lot of upset, halved his congregation and caused a lot of upset.

I now see my friend for lunch regularly again, she never mentions her church.

Disgraceful, would have wanted the courage to walk out.
Did any of the other invitees express their shock or displeasure ?

That was to Eglantine and anyone else who's been in that sort of awkward situation.