Whilst I empathise wholeheartedly with the OP's sense of 'vague disgruntlement' (love that phrase!), some posts here have made me wince.
I was actively involved in church life for decades, married to a vicar and have an honours degree in theology. I might also have fallen into the category of a 'middle England lady of Christianity.' I hosted tea parties in the rectory garden, I ran prayer and study groups, I set up a parent and toddler group which still serves the community. However, none of this was done with the 'sneaky' desire to evangelize and drive people through the doors of church as an imperative. Rather, I look back on a time of service to the community and intellectual enquiry, founded in love, not fundamental extremism.
The whole point of 'faith' is that it is 'beyond' what is rational - it requires a 'leap' - which is challenging because of course, rationally, it does not make sense.. Therefore it is not an intellectual failing to 'believe' it is a choice. Where 'blind faith' is apparent within a congregation, that will always require challenge if it founds bigotry and extremist tendencies.
However, many, many people who identify with a Christian faith go on enquiring and wondering, rather than ignoring the intellectual challenges involved. In my experience, they are people of deep integrity with sound values. Many have made wonderful contributions to the fabric of our society.
I have no desire for an' argey bargey' about religion, but some of these posts show a lot of ignorance and, frankly, a cheap desire to 'knock' Christianity by taking one (to my mind) ill-advised form of evangelism as representative of the whole and then applying all manner of negative and offensive labels.
Fact: it was a sneaky tea party.
Fact: it was not unreasonable for the OP to feel justly disgruntled.
Let's just leave it there.
Except to say Phoenix- what a triumph! And I for one would have preferred your tea party.