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Do you feel punished

(54 Posts)
AlgeswifeVal Fri 08-Sep-17 07:13:41

I was reading a post on Facebook called ' I love it when people think they're going to punish me by not talking to me ' The answers made interesting reading.

If someone decides to blank me, I would be like: thank goodness I hope they feel like that forever. I might wonder what deed I did to upset them though. Sometimes it's friends or family members that stop speaking to you. I have a neighbour who does just that and I couldn't care less, in fact it's quiet funny to me.

Soos Sun 10-Sep-17 13:12:39

When people appear to blank me or upset me in some way I always use my favourite saying
"Only value the opinions of the people who realy matter to you"
It realy puts things into perspective

grannylyn65 Sun 10-Sep-17 07:27:43

Kitty. I am none of these things but this happened weeks ago via an unspeakable cruel email and am still reeling
sad

WendyS Sat 09-Sep-17 19:19:51

123kitty your post explains plausible reasoning. Good riddance I say.

Aslemma Sat 09-Sep-17 18:21:46

I never have problems with Facebook as the only "friends" I have on there are people I know personally, or with whom I have a connection in another way. As some of these people are in Scotland, Denmark, Sweden, Belgium, Tunisia and Australia we do not see one another very often and the cost of phone calls is prohibitive, so FB is the perfect way to keep in touch. If I see posts which are racist, anti immigrant, or which condemn all moslems for the actions of the terrorists, I invariably speak out, even if I am a voice in the wilderness,

Macgran43 Sat 09-Sep-17 11:05:55

I was close to my brother. Spoke every week on the phone and my hubbie and I socialised occasionally with him and his wife. They had no children together. Since he died a year ago I find that I don't enjoy my sister-in-law's company too much and there is not much communication. I do feel bad about this as I know she is lonely but she does have other family and friends . She lives about 50 miles away.

Shizam Fri 08-Sep-17 23:17:50

Facebook is not to be taken seriously. I use it only as a tool to get in touch with offspring who are being useless on phone or with friends in far flung places.
Have had issues with one or two friends, and a brother!, doing the ghosting thing. Took it personally initially. Now have decided it's their problem. I've done the best I can. If that ain't good enough, then it's not to be. Will stick to the important ones.

Eloethan Fri 08-Sep-17 22:19:45

I am on Facebook but only to keep in touch with a couple of people who only communicate in that way. I think, in the main, it is pretty silly and I hate all this unfriending business - as margaret says, a bit childish.

MargaretX Fri 08-Sep-17 21:27:07

I can't believe that discussing 'blanking out' and 'not speaking' concerns the older generation. Sounds more like Kindergarten to me.

BBbevan Fri 08-Sep-17 20:38:55

Never do Facebook. But I probably wouldn't even notice if I was blanked

Saggi Fri 08-Sep-17 19:18:11

All of you.....ditch all social media...put on your shoes...pick up your purse and meet your real friends in town for lunch and a cuppa.FB and all the other stuff is for people who haven't got a life.!! And all of you estranged from your rellies...pick up the phone!

LadyGracie Fri 08-Sep-17 18:57:41

I have a couple of very good friends, I belong to a Pedigree cat group on FB but I don't often make comments I enjoy seeing other people's cats. I also don't make many comments on GN, I did used to but found some posters responses rude, bullying almost, some do not like opinions that differ to theirs. I'll only join in on lighthearted subjects, if I have something to say.

AlgeswifeVal Fri 08-Sep-17 17:55:06

Anya, in answer No it doesn't, not at all. It was a Facebook posting I had on my timeline. Not happening to me. Just my weird neighbour.

Legs55 Fri 08-Sep-17 17:43:13

I love fb for keeping in touch with friends who live too far away to see regularly, I do however only have a small number of friends.

I had a neighbour who after a while just stopped talking to me (as she had done to many other neighbours), no loss. My attitude is "it's their loss not mine". I certainly wouldn't lose any sleep over some-one who decided to "blank" megrin

Baggs Fri 08-Sep-17 16:54:03

How does one know one is being blanked on FB?

willa45 Fri 08-Sep-17 16:46:41

Ahhh Facebook! Reminds me of a conflict we had during the last election. A disgruntled cousin 'defriended' our entire family. Why? ...because DS and DD1 wouldn't support her (idol,male) candidate of choice! After a long string of mutually confrontational posts, she was out-debated by DD1.

She reacted by 'unfriending' ALL of us...SILs, other cousins.....even my apolitical (quiet, peace loving ) DH, who seldom even looks at his FB account and who became 'guilty' by association only. Not surprisingly, our entire family bid her 'good riddance'.

Conversely, if someone were to 'blank' me (FB or otherwise) for no apparent reason, I would probably react differently. Personally, I would want to know what I did wrong. I would feel badly being dismissed without a reasonable explanation, and I certainly wouldn't feel happy about it.

Marieeliz Fri 08-Sep-17 16:46:04

Riversidegirl, I have had this problem live in a terraced 3 bed and the access to the rear belongs to my house. Have had three tenants since a long standing one left and they seem to think the access is theirs to store things in. Nightmare. Previous owner on other side tried to stop us erecting a fence on our side. Tied string through posts had to go out with scissors and cut it off. Consequences were that the fence is not straight, she would not let contractor put a foot on her side. She is well gone now and new neighbour keeps complaining fence is not straight. I just tell her it was the previous owners fault.

KatyK Fri 08-Sep-17 15:53:58

Gillybob I don't really have many friends either (by choice) and I can't stand Facebook. I have a few ladies who I meet up with occasionally for lunch but (sorry if this sounds bad)
it wouldn't break my heart if I never saw them again, nice though they are. I do, however, have 2 sisters who I am very close to and would be devastated if we fell out. My older sister hasn't contacted me for years. It's not something I'm too bothered about as she is very much a
'me me me' sort.

Norah Fri 08-Sep-17 15:51:16

I am also happy alone with my family. If people blank or ghost to me I really do not care and might not notice.

W11girl Fri 08-Sep-17 15:20:15

Same here Gillybob, I don't have friends, but plenty of acquaintances. So never have a falling out. If I am not happy with an aquaintance I give them a wide berth without any animosity. Fantastic! I'm must be one of those rare people who is happy in their own company.

Sheilasue Fri 08-Sep-17 14:57:19

Have no problem fb if the comments are racist then I delete them.
I can keep up with my family on line many live quite a long way away so nice to hear the news and share mine.

grannylyn65 Fri 08-Sep-17 14:49:48

This has happened tome friend over many sent me a abuse email. NC Forever. No idea why

Riversidegirl Fri 08-Sep-17 14:19:24

Our neighbour has stopped speaking to us because we have had our front garden turfed. He has never done anything to his for 50 years. Any shrubs, plants, etc were on our side of the border. He has strung a clothes line along the boundary posts (thank goodness we kept them!) and has actually POSTED a letter to us saying we have removed his visual security, and removed a plant that his wife planted when well. (She must have put it on our side then!) I never fall out with anyone, much less a neighbour, and I am finding it very difficult to cope with.

BlueBelle Fri 08-Sep-17 13:45:21

I love fb and if I ever lose any friends I m sure it's probably something political or when I ve been on my soapbox but that's no problem I ve noticed a cousin has disappeared when I started helping refugees .... No skin of my nose, up to him if he doesn't agree I m glad he's disappeared

I don't think FB is mundane I ve had some great success stories finding old friends and setting up groups and seeing my kids and grandkids pics never had anything but positive thinks happen

Joyfully Fri 08-Sep-17 13:21:50

GillyBob

I can't believe you have no friends as you always sound such a nice person, always have friendly advice for others.

I am glad to be without Facebook, not for anyone saying anything nasty, just because most of it is mundane, and wastes too much time. I prefe a good game of solitaire or scrabble on my IPad?

GrumpyOldBat Fri 08-Sep-17 12:43:04

Facebook is a tool like any other. It is how you use it. I have blocked a few people, and told them why before throwing them out of my social media space. One's social media space is just like a physical space - if you wouldn't accept the behaviour in your living room, don't accept it on your Facebook wall.

As for the 'blanking' thing, having grown up with the queen of guilt-trip passive-aggression, with the withdrawal of communication and affection being the ultimate sanction, I actually quite like the peace of being ignored. It beats being sniped at whilst choking on the fumes of burning martyr.