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Anyone brought up little boys?

(31 Posts)
Luckygirl Sun 10-Sep-17 12:07:50

I have two of my GSs staying this weekend and it is a huge challenge. They are 8 (highly intelligent and intellectual) and 5 (totally the opposite). The young one is nearly 6 and he is never never never still! - or quiet! Even when he is sitting in the car he is jiggling his legs about and humming loudly; filling his mouth with spit and inadvertently letting it out so we needed a change of clothes!

I have just tried to do a simple jigsaw with him - silly grandma! - and it is impossible - he just boshes about randomly trying to force pieces to go together! - his brother is there trying to explain about corner pieces and matching the colours - some hopes!

He seems not to hear you when you talk to him, but then you realise that he has and is simply processing it very slowly. When he wants something he just stands where he is and calls your name - loudly! - I ignore it and wait for him to come to me - but it takes some patience.

He is the most loving and sociable of children - so not on the spectrum - but just a force of nature, crashing from one mad thing to the next!

No wonder my DD asked us to have them so she and OH could have a quiet weekend together!!

We have had them before of course, but little one seems harder work this time - maybe I am just a few weeks older! But we love them dearly.

norose4 Sun 10-Sep-17 12:20:45

Well he does sound hyperactive. So maybe jigsaws not the way to go, sounds like tiringout physical activities maybe better suited or water play tree climbing , etc if that doesn't work maybe he does need to be reassessed. Ps some foods sweets can have this affect, one of my sons would get very hyped up when he had sweets with red colouring in them .

Luckygirl Sun 10-Sep-17 12:30:08

Yes - he has done the rampaging around the garden this morning and the jigsaw was my (failed!) attempt to wind him down a bit. Confession - they are watching Charlie and Chocolate Factory at the moment.

I had 3 little girls and they were very physically active, but also had the ability to be still and to play by themselves. One of my DDs was dyslexic and could not even begin to understand maths - she, like this little lad, was (and is) the most loving and warm of personalities.

MissAdventure Sun 10-Sep-17 12:30:09

I think boys seem generally more active and fidgety than girls. I can remember my friends little boy biting his sandwich into something he thought resembled a plane, which then got 'flown' around, with sound effects..

ninathenana Sun 10-Sep-17 12:30:28

Oh dear, rather you than me.
I think norose has a point, active past times would seem the way to go. I do appreciate that some of us GN's me included find being out and about 'doing stuff' a bit difficult.

MissAdventure Sun 10-Sep-17 12:33:26

I can also recall a programme where children were given plasticene, and whilst the girls made pies and food with it, all carefully colour coordinated, the boys squashed it all together, after making things for fighting with. grin

paddyann Sun 10-Sep-17 12:34:28

he sounds like a normal 5 year old boy to me,they have enough energy for 10 adults.Just try to find things he's interested in and he'll happily do them...preferably something that he doesn't have to sit down to do

Eglantine19 Sun 10-Sep-17 12:55:41

I'm afraid I allowed the rampage and they had games like Crocoldiles where you put all the cushions on the floor and they jmo from one to another, Bashacars in the hallway (self explanatory) and Treasure Hunt, where you get a picture of the "treasure" and have to go all over the house to find it. Next to it is the picture of the next treasure and so on... It was a big old house.

trisher Sun 10-Sep-17 13:18:21

My youngest DS was very fond of digging holes in the garden in the hope of making a tunnel to his best friend's house. Never got there but it did tire him out! I had 3 DSs. A favourite game for wet days was "explorers". They took a rolled up blanket and a box of jam sandwiches and set off round the house, the stairs were a mountain to scale etc. Every now and then they stopped to camp,unrolled the blanket and ate the sandwiches.

FarNorth Sun 10-Sep-17 13:43:26

Possibly the younger boy feels overwhelmed by his clever brother, and by adults who know a lot of things he doesn't, so he makes no effort with something like a jigsaw as he doesn't expect to be any good at it.

Could you give him your full attention, for a while, doing something he wants to do, while his big brother does something else?

My DGD is a bit like this 6 year old, so it's not just a boy thing.
One problem her parents have found is that too much physical activity sometimes leads to more agitated behaviour, as her brain seems too tired to concentrate on anything.

Elrel Sun 10-Sep-17 13:45:20

Little Women without John Bunyan! Sounds like fun!
A cousin, who could later be described as intelligent and intellectual, dug a deep and wide hole at the bottom of his parents' garden. I loved going there as did all his mates. I'm not sure whether Australia was the aim!

MissAdventure Sun 10-Sep-17 13:48:42

My nephew, when he was about four, asked my sister if he could dig a hole in the garden. She said he could, and off he went with his little spade. Some time later my brother in law arrived on his bike, having set himself a challenge to gradually reduce the time it took to get home from work. He flew around the corner, and disappeared, still on his bike, into an enormous hole! grin

DanniRae Sun 10-Sep-17 14:06:41

That made me laugh MissAdventure! Thank you grin

MawBroon Sun 10-Sep-17 14:51:29

I certainly wouldn't looking for any sort of "assessment" (norose 12.25) just because a boy doesn't like jigsaws! Some people do, some don't. I remember sobbing my heart out when I got my present from Santa at the Edinburgh Press Club's Christmas children's party.
Yes it was a "gender neutral" jigsaw. I really really wanted a doll sad
My 2 Birmingham DGSs love very jigsaws and are very good at them. They are also inexhaustible when it comes to playing outdoors, sport, any sort of physical activity, fighting with each other etc
Luckygirl they sound like entirely normal little boys (or girls!!) to me!

MawBroon Sun 10-Sep-17 14:53:37

"Love jigsaws" - don't know where the "very " came from!!

mumofmadboys Sun 10-Sep-17 14:55:56

We have five sons who took a lot of tiring out!! We always went out every day somewhere or other. They enjoyed walking in the countryside, swimming, climbing trees, soft play , bikes , parks, museums,etc. They liked treasure hunts in the garden. I used to cover lots of little stones in silver foil and hide them all around the garden. Aaah those were the days!!

Jane10 Sun 10-Sep-17 15:02:05

Reading stories seemed to be popular with my 2 DGSs. Their busy parents didn't have time to do that. Of course this would be after playing outside or something physical. Just sitting quietly listening seemed to have a calming effect.
Just having an adults undivided attention seems to be a treat so we spend hours playing 'what's the time Mr Wolf' or 'Grandmother' s footsteps'. Even a game of Snakes and Ladders can last for ages and helps with concentration and counting practice. It's all fun (for me if no one else!) The poor cat hides in the wardrobe until they've gone and I can pass out to recover!

Baggs Sun 10-Sep-17 15:14:47

My two grandsons have lots of energy and their parents take them on long walks and "expotitions".

When I visit they love to play board games with me: anything from snakes and ladders to chess.

seacliff Sun 10-Sep-17 15:18:53

Thanks Miss Adventure, made me laugh out loud (love a bit of slapstick!)

I had 2 boys, 2 years apart, and it sounds normal to me. They would always want to walk along the street in the most dangerous way, possible climbing on walls etc. Never nicely like my friends little girls. They were always falling over and getting a split lip. I always carried tissues,cream, spare top etc.

They need wearing out. Mine also loved making dens, indoors or out.

I did make a treasure map for them to follow round house. But as one is older that might not work.

I took them to an indoor soft play sometimes, that wore them out quite well. You sit and have a cuppa, although it is rather noisy.

Is it worth asking the younger one what he'd like to do? Within reason lol.

Good luck. I'm sure your daughter is VERY grateful.

Luckygirl Sun 10-Sep-17 16:40:11

They have gone!!!!!

I explained to DD the problems we have had, which were not just about over-exuberance and being demanding, but with the younger were about defiance, refusing to listen to what you are saying, pretending he can't hear you, looking you in the eye and just staring at you when you are trying to ask him to do something (e.g. put your shoes on if you are going out). It seems that his teacher has been having similar problems, which I was not aware of. She told him he must stand outside the door when he was being naughty and he just said - that's fine, I like being outside. He was in line for a detention and he told her he liked doing that - just generalised stroppiness. So I do not feel that it was personal! Something is troubling him I guess. At least I did not also have to deal with a classroom full of other children!

DD and her OH had a lovely weekend and that is what matters.

Greyduster Sun 10-Sep-17 16:56:57

My BF has two grandsons like this. The older one is very quiet and intelligent - the younger one is a noisy whirling dervish. Nothing wrong with either of them. You just have to let them be who they are. My DS was an engine of frenetic activity throughout his childhood. He was miserable to his very core if ever he had to stay indoors and "do something quiet"!

trisher Sun 10-Sep-17 17:58:58

luckygirl it does sound a bit as if he is trying to make his mark and show he is as important as his big brother (if I can't be better I'll be badder). Perhaps a few encouraging things- like "you are much better at football/games than x was when he was your age.". "you are a really fast runner" "you can probably get your shoes on quicker than me"
As for the teacher-a detention at 5!? What sort of school is it?
There may be a problem because he is a physical child and he is being forced into learning in a very passive way. Boys especially find too much formal teaching too early very harmful and react by rebelling. They need to have short bursts of physical activities between the more formal teaching.

Luckygirl Sun 10-Sep-17 18:16:18

I am sure you are right trisher and one thing I will suggest to DD is that she leaves him with us on his own so he is not feeling in competition with his super-bright brother. Both of them are fine here individually. I can see it is hard for both of them - they are what they are and are really very incompatible.

I understand his frustration at school - I had a similar situation with his Mum who followed her very bright sister on through the school and comparisons were made. I used to get very cross about it.

It is not a solution to play board games etc. with him as he just does not get it!

I also agree that there are some boys for whom school is just not their milieu and who need to be more active. He is not noticeably behind at school; but he is within the family which is tough for him. All his local cousins are brainboxes. We love him to bits and I feel quite sad that the weekend has been so difficult - I do not think I was able to meet his needs at all - but I was feeling quite tired and OH was unwell and it was b****y raining of course! I will have to think through a strategy for doing it better next time. It has not been a major problem when they stayed before.

watermeadow Sun 10-Sep-17 18:39:38

I had only daughters then five granddaughters. The one little grandson is inherently different from all the girls. He's quiet and well behaved, no whirling dervish, but fascinated by how things work. He loves Minecraft, Lego, science and technology. luckygirl's grandson may like finding things out, magnets, making models, computer games.

Luckygirl Sun 10-Sep-17 19:24:02

Thanks or those suggestions.