Things my parents said ...

You will meet yourself going backwards was one of my mother's expressions.
You look like a pig or a dog's breakfast
He/she looked like death warmed up if not feeling well.
Your feet will not touch the ground because you will not know what has hit you.
My dad also used to go and see a man about a dog. I think that is a Scottish expression.
Only floozies go out dressed like that.
Eye makeup, wearing white shoes and/or mini skirts was "common".

How about "like a blue arsed fly"? I love some of these sayings.

If we were wailing we'd be told, "I'll give you something to cry about."
When my sister and I were going through a giggly stage as teenagers she'd say, "You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl!"

Or happy as a pig in s**t...
two helpin's of sheeps cock and pullet..
A face only a mother could love....
Smile on the other side of your face...
Here there and back again to see how far it is ....
Some one who smirked a lot was a grinny s**t a**e
Someone was 'apenny short of a shillin'..if a bit slow
My brother and I always remember the words she used ....most of her sayings where unprintable

these are making me grin and feel happily nostalgic

You would laugh if your a**e caught alight
Someone limping had one leg and a flapper
When asked if she had a match her reply "your face my a**e
Wash your hands face and ha'penny..
have a cats lick and a promise....
Keep your 'and on yer ha'penny...

My squints as a child was having one eye on the pot and t'other up the chimney
and as I was rather rotund as a child she had one arm round me and twice round the gasworks

Charleygirl my father was always going to see a man about a dog and we're welsh, so these things do travel. He was also fond of saying if you want to get ahead get a hat!!!!! Oh yes we had the blue-arsed fly too and if something was dirty it was blacker than the hobs of hell.

My Nans saying when we were swooning over someone good looking - "ever seen my arse on a windy night?"

As black as the Earl of Hell's waistcoat

Well, I'll go to the bottom of our stairs.

Neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring

Ye gods!

I now find myself exclaiming "Good God!" with exactly the same intonation and look as my father.

Someone with eye problems had "one eye and a whelk" (pronounced whilk)

Pride must abide was one of my dad's sayings

My parents never ever swore but I did hear the blue arsed fly comment d=from another member of the family.

My granny used to say 'Up the wooden hill to bed' (going up the stairs to bed). And eating my crusts would give me curls.

My mother used to say (about gossip) 'If it's nice say it, if it's not don't'. When I asked her about this shortly before she died, she said her headmistress said it to them. Now I think that is a good rule to live by!

My dad used to say 'Hands, Knees and Bumpsidaysees' in a German accent, which I found out recently was from Max Bygraves.

What I would give to hear one of them again.

My grandad ( of my grandma singing)

Your voice is like the sound of a cow farting through a small tooth comb .

If that's what you think, you have another think coming!

Late MiL used to describe someone who she considered a bit of a tart as "all fur coat and no knickers!

Very cold = Chilly bon bons.

Never heard anyone else say it.

If asked where she was going: "round the corner and up Jack's arse"

Something I still try to practise:
When in doubt, say nowt.
That was my Dad.

Thinking back, probably partly from his mother's, my Grandma's, warning when someone gets cheeky - "hold your tongue!".

One of my grandmas sayings if we showed bad table manners was "couldn't take you to Frascatti's" (I assume Frascatti's was a posh restaurant)!!!
Also "She thinks her body every self because her mother has a mangle"!!!
When my brother and I were being boisterous and having fun my mum "this will end in tears"
"Least said soonest mended"
"Enough blue sky to make a Dutchman a pair of trousers" meant it would be a nice day.

When I reached my teens I was told " don't bring any trouble to this house " I had absolutely no idea what was meant by this.
Does anyone remember the sketches with Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough where they dressed as two older ladies and talked in hushed tones about " everything being taken away" so true of that era.

Yes Christinefrance, I once did a skit based on those two, with a good friend at an evening of 'Harvest Supper Entertainment.' We kept descending into fits of giggles between lines as we tried to hitch up our massive (false!!!) bosoms and fiddle with our 'knicker - lines'!

"Handsome is as handsome does" (which her Mum used to say to her)

"When poverty marches in the door, love flies out the window"

Cheery stuff like that.

My grandma used to say about having wind "In church or chapel, let it rattle!"

good old grandma!