VQ, I can empathise with you.
However, your funny description has made me laugh, as I was in a similar situation. The end result was that as I ended up in A&E with a black eye and a suspected fractured cheekbone.
As I was crawling about on the floor, trying to mop up the flood, my ham fisted husband decided to try and help, but accidentally hit me on the face with a squeedgy mop. The doctor in A&E thought my husband had attacked me and it took some effort to convince him that it was actually an accident.
To make it worse, I had to go on a course the following day, funded by the Italian Government. My SIL was also on the course. The Italian Consul was trying so hard not to stare at my very noticeable shiner. I told him my SIL's BIL did it, omitting to say that SIL's BIL was also my husband.