Gransnet forums



(114 Posts)
Catlover123 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:20:58

Having just retired I find my husband seems to expect me to make lunch everyday. I would rather he 'foraged' for himself or made it for me once in a while. It is the expectation that I don't like and I don't always want to eat at the same time every day. I don't mind continuing to make our evening meal and do the food shopping, but I can't get my head round this 'lunch' thing! I thought he might just get the message, but no there he is wondering where lunch is!! what does everyone else do?

Jane10 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:28:48

I make sure the 'makings' are there but after that it's up to him to make whatever he fancies when he fancies it. I think you'll need to clarify the situation with your DH.

Marydoll Wed 25-Oct-17 13:29:25

When I first retired, lunch became a problem. DH was used to having lunch at noon, whereas I was used to eating on the run in school at one o'clock.
So I just told him what was in the fridge and to eat what he liked. It has worked out well.
I don't mind making dinner, but I would like to be able to have lunch when it suited me, not someone else.

annsixty Wed 25-Oct-17 13:33:03

A very old saying and one to stick to,
I married you for better or for worse but not for lunch.
I can't keep it up now but I did in the days I could get out, although H didn't like it, he would expect me to make him a sandwich and put it in Tupperware before I went out!!

jusnoneed Wed 25-Oct-17 13:41:15

If I bother with lunch I ask if he wants any, sometimes he wants something totally different to what I'm having so then he does it himself.
He's home all day so can move his backside and do his own. If he can't be bothered then he can go hungry lol.

merlotgran Wed 25-Oct-17 13:44:11

Yes. What is it with men and lunch?

I was always happy to grab something quick at whatever time was possible or convenient but when we both retired DH started dropping lunchie euphemism hints as soon as mid-day beckoned. hmm

'Bite to eat' is his favourite although 'Something to nibble at' (we're not mice FFS) will creep into the conversation when he's too scared to actually say the word, LUNCH. grin

FarNorth Wed 25-Oct-17 13:59:11

"I could do with a bite to eat."

"There's plenty of stuff in the kitchen. I'm sure you can knock something up."

End of story.

Jane10 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:59:51

How irritating merlotgran. I hope you tell him where the kitchen is.

lemongrove Wed 25-Oct-17 14:14:02

Merlot 🤣

Nonnie Wed 25-Oct-17 14:14:22

Can't you just explain that as you are both retired this is one meal he can do for himself? Are there lots of things he does and you don't which makes him think this is your job? A straightforward chat should solve it.

lemongrove Wed 25-Oct-17 14:17:33

A favourite (hopeful) phrase in this house is Mr L saying
‘Time for lunch, do you think?’
My reply varies, depending on what I am doing, so I either say, ‘I’m not hungry yet. You go ahead.’ Or ‘ ok what would you like?’ Sometimes he makes me lunch, soup or a sandwich.

pensionpat Wed 25-Oct-17 14:19:13

When we were both working breakfast took care of itself since DH was a shift worker, and he retired a long time before me. Lunch wasn't an issue either. We made or bought something. Then I retired and had to start thinking about 3 meals a day, rather than 1. Soon adjusted and made sure I shopped accordingly. There is always something there. We eat what we fancy, usually at the same time, often different food, often at a pub. Things find their own level don't they?

GrannyHaggis Wed 25-Oct-17 14:19:18

We only eat our evening meal together.Different getting up times in morning mean different breakfast times and we eat as and when and if we want during the day. Works for us...but I do wish he'd offer to make the evening meal sometimes! And believe me, I've dropped some hints!!

Barmyoldbat Wed 25-Oct-17 14:22:50

My H seems to always be eating and he not overweight by any means, just a runner and cyclist. It drives me mad but he gets it himself and I just do the evening meal, except on Monay when it's his turn. The bit that drives me mad is going out for the day he still expects to eat lunch but I leave that to him to either make a sandwich or buy something. Mind you if I do make something for lunch he thinks he has died and gone to heaven.

FarNorth Wed 25-Oct-17 14:24:23

Men aren't good at taking hints. A straight out request or instruction is usually needed.

pension pat, why did you have to start thinking about 3 meals while, presumably, your DH gave it no thought at all?

dogsmother Wed 25-Oct-17 14:27:24

Heck, you guys!
We are both around quite often here, and I may prepare something if I’m hungry and offer him something.
I might just as easily say, would you mind doing some lunch for me I’m starving and can’t be bothered today, he will oblige as fairs fair.
It all eventually evens out. But I refuse to be a servant 😉

Alima Wed 25-Oct-17 14:33:18

This has never been an issue for us. Either of us will make the sarnies, DH mostly because he will turn the radio onto one of the old comedy shows to listen to whilst preparing them. Sounds like some husbands have not been trained were well, maybe send them on a refresher course?

CherryHatrick Wed 25-Oct-17 14:52:49

DH takes charge of breakfast and morning coffee when he is able, I generally cook our evening meal, and whoever gets hungry first makes lunch. As he is always ready by mid day, I get to choose if I join him or make my own later.

DanniRae Wed 25-Oct-17 15:16:54

We sort out our own breakfasts and lunches - this was never discussed it just happened. I cook dinner every night except on Saturdays and that's when my husband cooks. This suits us both. If we go out shopping and eat lunch out I don't cook in the evening and we forage for ourselves later on when we are hungry.

ninathenana Wed 25-Oct-17 15:37:01

We do our own breakfast and I usually sort our lunch but if he is hungry before me he will willingly do his own and mine if I want him to. He only ever has a sandwich and crisps if I want something different I'll do it myself. He does cook some evenings but has a limited repertoire.

Auntieflo Wed 25-Oct-17 16:28:23

Alima, when are you taking bookings for the refresher course? grin.

merlotgran Wed 25-Oct-17 16:49:42

If I suggest a refresher course to DH his eyes will light up because he'll think I mean refreshment course. grin

Allegra22 Wed 25-Oct-17 16:58:04

I wouldn’t dream of making lunch for mine. He’s lucky if he gets his dinner cooked. He’s got two arms and two legs the same as me and is perfectly capable of sorting himself out. I can’t understand women who run around after their husbands tending to their every need as if they are either slightly simple or they’re overgrown children!

Catlover123 Wed 25-Oct-17 16:58:35

thanks for replies, and Nonnie I have had that conversation before, maybe need to do it again!

Christinefrance Wed 25-Oct-17 17:02:36

Oh dear now I feel really guilty. My husband does lunch and the evening meal every day. I just ask where it is. Works for us smile