The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

It's ok fellow Argies, I forgive you as I'm feeling very mellow having finished off a bowl of punch, well I think it was punch, might be washing up water but anyway I feel wonderful

Sorry Argy Bargies - I too —have been tied up— was very busy. Strike through not working?

Meno they do say that Fairy liquid has a helluva punch, so perhaps that’s it?

Time for a restorative

Are you after clearing your tubes again Meno? Fairy liquid will do that!

Well, that’s it! Am bushed and am sitting in this comfy chair next to the bar and not moving until closing time.
Hmmmm, what to have? My usual please, a pint of Lager with a chaser of Jack Daniels and some prawn flavour crisps( the very large pack) thanks.
Christmas doesn’t arrange itself you know ( though DH thinks it does) or maybe he thinks magic elves do it all.
I will start some cleaning tomorrow if I have the energy.

Has anybody seen the Fairy liquid anywhere?

Big Jim looks great in his costume, and so many customers are coming in ( I think he may be pushing them in!) after all, Nobody likes to argue with Father Christmas, especially when he is built like a brick wall with a Glasweigan accent.

So that's why I'm blowing bubbles from both ends, great party trick

Bloody hell! Just poked my head through the door- it’s a bit rough ain’t it?

Actually he is quite refined

I'm a bit worried. Big Jim is insisting on accompanying me to the Edinburgh Granspals Christmas lunch. The genteel ladies of Edinburgh will be horrified at what a great, big, hulking brute of a man he is. They are more used to the refined Morningside accent. I fear they may have an attack of the vapours if he appears.
I was wondering if perhaps the Argy members could get together and keep him amused, whilst I am away.

I'm sure we can Marydoll, I reckon Friday is up for a challenge

I think the genteel laydees in Edinburgh might fancy a bit of rough. Take him with you. I’ve got enough on my plate without your cast offs!

Oh well , we were just trying to be welcoming to a new member.
The Admiral is perhaps more of your type.

Listen sister, I’m not dumb. I know what you were up to! ‘Just trying to be welcoming to a new member’ pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

Now this Admiral...???? Has he still got both eyes and arms and a pulse? I’m pretty fussy when it comes to men, seeing as I’m a big of a catch myself.

Bum! Meant to say ‘bit’ not ‘big’ ...bugger that for a Freudian slip.

Well the Admiral is very discerning, as ALL of us know from experience. He does have two eyes, but they are prone to roving if you know what I mean.
He does tend to go for the "bigger" ladies in the Argy, so you may be in with a shout.

The Admiral def has both eyes, arms and a pulse and as long as the wooden leg doesn't turn you off you will be fine, although one of his eyes does swivel round now and again, usually after a large Pernod and black so perhaps check that out

I prefer them with ALL their bits in place and functioning. But I might pop in -if I don’t get a better offer- (not working either since update IOS) later.

Must get sorted the vicar is popping around for elevenses and tiffin this morning,

Elevenses and tiffin? What a greedy vicar!

Though I say it myself I pride myself on my tiffin.

That’s just bragging. We know what tiffin is a eufywhatsit for! We didn’t come down in the last shower!

Anyone want to build a snowman in the back yard? ( that isn’t a eufywhatsit btw)

Didn’t drop in last night ‘cos I had a better offer.

You from the US of A lemongrass?

Lemongrass are you lemongroves distant cousin?