The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Just popping in to wish the regulars of the Caff all that you wish for yourselves. Don't get greedy...you're allowed a couple of hunky chaps each. Continue to have fun, and to hell with the housework.

Can we have a whip round? Lemon is still banged up in the nick, been there since Boxing Day. The charges are: causing a public nuisance; drunk and disorderly; behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace; wearing a traffic cone as an item of clothing; streaking naked through a shopping mall in a manner likely to cause alarm and knocking a police officers helmet off his head. Bail is set at £200. Shall we have a whip round to get her sprung? I took this photo of her, sat in the cells.

Greetings fellow Argies!
As you can see ( above) am quite happy in my cell, have even got a big cigar, and the food isn’t bad here either ( and lots of fit coppers around to ogle. )
If I’m here long enough they may pay you the bail money to take me away heehee.
What a week I have had, although tbh don’t remember much of it clearly.
Happy New Year to all.????

Am now out of jail! They needed the cell apparently.
So have popped in here to celebrate ( quiet tonight though) are you all still hung over from New Year?
I shall put my feet up and crack open a bottle of merlot, steal a few packets of nuts to munch, and have a chat with the lovely Barry, who is on bar duty tonight.He is wearing his leather trousers and looks hot!

you're incorrigible lemongrove! Leave the poor lad alone!

If he is looking hot, has the thermostat gone wrong on the heating?

Can I have a large glass of port please Chewbacca? All alcohol gratefully received tonight!

Just here for a coffee, must hit the shops soon looking for bargains.
Turned out you were right Jane he was too hot in those leather trousers and felt much better after he had taken them off.

I don't know why you are bothering going out, Lemon, I cleaned out the shops of bargains yesterday.
It would be more productive if you did a few extra hours to clear up the aftermath of your session with BIG Barry.
I never could fathom out why he was given that nickname.
Perhaps you could enlighten us Lemon
By the way, has anyone seen Meno? She said something about a hot date with Big Jim , I hope MD doesn't find out.

Hmm Marydoll, you are right - where is Meno? I don’t think the pipes need clearing again yet and it’s all quiet in the cellar. Didn’t she say something about research at the seamen’s mission?

Oh , hold on though - isn’t she still banned from there after the last incident?

Well, it’s a humerous thing Mary about Big Barry, because he is actually (ahem!) rather small.

Meno was last seen at the docks, weaving about on her six inch stilettos and waving a champagne bottle, don’t worry, she always finds her way back home ( like a cat) although we could check the cop shops and hospitals if she doesn’t get here soon.

I think we can leave checking cop shops and A&E departments to you lemon. seeing as you've spent more time there than the rest of us put together.

Big Barry ?

Oh yes, I know all the boys in blue here, we are on first name terms.
I was thinking, should we have a very large cat flap fitted at the back door in the yard? Then any of us could crawl in when we are, umm incapacitated.Although, it would have to be pretty big for some of us to get our bums through.You know who you are girls!

Oh Lemon you know how sensitive I am about my humongous posterior. This could be on FB anytime soon and everyone will know how BIG I am ?

Top of the morning to you all, I've been to Ireland for a few days. I fell asleep on one of the ships in the dock and woke up in a different country. Anyway checked out many pubs for research purposes and got a real taste for Guinness so my backside is broadening, my language is riper and I made lots of new friends.
Anyway I'm back now and will do my stint behind the bar if I can fit, good to be back

Bring any poteen with you?Thought not, so greedy, you drank the lot!

Did you manage to catch sight of the little people Meno they can lead you to a pot of gold you know!

There were a lot of little people in my head, usually in the middle of the night thumping on my brain but no poteen but have brought recipes back home and I am peeling spuds as I speak, and yes saving skins for further use

Oh it's good to see you back Meno ?

Friday night is poteen night, I've made a vat of it and it's doing something weird so think it will be just right. Let's make it Irish night dress up

I'm going as a pint of guinness

I’m going as a shamrock?

I'm going as a leprochaun