The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Hmmm, impeccable timing lemon. I cleared out the cupboard under the sink today and found a pack of Turkey Twizzlers, a tin of Spam and a jar of pickled gherkins. We could lay on a banquet with that lot.

Great idea Lemon. The Kitcheners are all lovely ladies, I'm sure they would bring a bit of class to the Argy. However, I hope we won't be a bad influence on them. ?
You really can't beat white stilettos and In fact I could lend you mine. They look great with 100 denier black tights and a mini skirt. .?

Thanks folks!
Food items from Chewy and shoes from Mary such largesse.??
Mary you know Soop best, pop over to the kitchen soon and invite everyone?
Friday night alright?

Well I have done it, invited the Kitcheners to the 'do'.
What do you think of that?

Marydoll Beings as I'm a proper laydee, I wish to thank you and your lot for the gracious invitation extended to us lot for a right knees-up. I shall be otherwise engaged but, I come bearing gifts for the buffet. The trifle is not quite set. It's sort of lumpy and a weird colour. Can't be helped. I'm of an artistic temperament. I leave the cooking to others. There's also a jumbo size bag of pork scratchings. Anyone with dodgy dentures - beware! Pineapple chunks on tooth picks, add a dash of finesse. What else, you may ask. A few sausage rolls (left over from Christmas) will warm up nicely in the microwave. Stand well back. The last lot exploded. Can't think why. Had I been able to join in the fun, I'd have worn my suede hotpants and knee-high boots. Classy! The last time I wore the pants, was way back when I had a decent figure and they were in vogue. I looked so good in them my manager suggested I went home to change into something a lot less fetching.

Everything is arranged, so hope some Kitcheners make it over here, otherwise we will have to scoff all the food, drink all the drinks and proposition all the male strippers by ourselves.....hmmmm
The New Chippendales are booked from 7pm to 10 pm and will do three shows, with breaks.
Marydoll is in charge of their needs ( have I gone quite mad?) ?
Chewy and Meno will be on bar duty ( very likely drinking more than they sell) and I will be on the door checking out undesirables ( and welcoming them in)
Our other regulars will hopefully mingle and make sure all are having a good time.
The fairy lights on and main lights off will give a certain ambience( and hide wrinkles) and between Chippendale acts, we have installed a pole so that any laydee ( or other)
Can have a writhe about as the fancy takes them.
Dancing on tables is frowned upon though, and please use the spittoons.
Hope to see you there!

It beats a night at the opera.

Depends on the opera!

Galen I like opera.

In fact, I am lending my opera glasses to any of the kitcheners who are a little short sighted. I would hate anyone to miss the so-called new Chippendales. I know that we're all prim and proper but there are times when we could all do with throwing caution to the wind. I shall, as I've already said, be otherwise engaged.

I have made my special bird seed flapjacks with added hemp and I shall wear my new basque with Madonna type pointy bits. Classy me.

Now we are talking, so good to have so many people on board(captain reference), I will be there with poteen(although it appears to be fermenting a bit) and delighted to see Soop on board and her lot

Is that Soop’s lot rattling the door? Stand by your beds girls!
Mines a brandy and Benedictine before they get to the bar. X

Welcome!
Come in,the Chippendales are ready to do their first act....here they come, gyrating to ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’
Cor! Whistle! Get em off!

Hello Argy Bargists !

Thank you for your invite , I thought I would pop in ( please don’t make me eat Soops food !! Last time I had to camp out in the bathroom for 3 days ! ) . I bought a packed lunch instead.

I thought I’d dress up for the occasion sadly I took so much time finding an outfit I MAY have forgotten underwear , but I know you’ll be kind to overlook that.

I’m very excited to see the Chippendales !

Where shall I sit ?

On Marydoll's lap I think NanaandGrampy. There's more room there and she'll only drag you there later do you might as well go willingly!

A carafe of sherry for me and, as I'm on the bar tonight, I'll make it a double.

Don’t mind if I do, but hope the chair can handle us Marydoll . I’ll have Brandy and lovage if you’re going Chewbacca !

I think Mary only wants Grampy on her knee , so you had better sit here near the bar Nana where you can ogle these strapping strippers.?

Nannaand Grampy come and sit next to me, it’s my first time here, can’t resist a free night out, it’s a bit chilly for no underwear but guess it’ll warm up in here soon, I’ve my leopardskin knicks on but couldn’t find the bra, can’t mismatch so a bit of a droop up top, well we’ve a smashing view here, some of the chaps have very little on, wonder who the dancing girls are in the background, thanks for the triple rhubarb gin, my shout next, this beats watching gogglebox!

Galen delighted to see ya! Wearing your trademark pearls I see ( and very little else) I knew you would fit right in here!
Pernod and lemonade is it??
Soop you look charming too, yes, tight thigh length boots is definitely the right look, and the sparkly boob tube is very
you..... a pint of Guinness??

After their act, the Chippies will sign autographs in the cellar, one at a time or all at once, these boys are up for anything .??

^ Pssst^ Nannylovesshopping, see the dancing "girl", 2nd from the left, 3rd row back? The one with the red hair, laddered fish net stockings and a purple boob tube? Thats Marydoll. She earns a few quid doing a dance routine every Friday night, just to help out. She used to be a Tiller Girl back in the 1930s.

soop I doubt if the chipppendales have anything I haven’t seen before in my 50 years of medicine.
The design of men is very unsatisfacory with all the vulnerable dangly bits.
The second version (aka woman )was much better

chewbacca she might have laddered fishnets, but she’s got some cracking legs, not a lot in the boob tube though?

Ssssh! She may hear you, so if you don’t like hospital food keep very quiet!