Moral dilemma

I'm not sure where the benefit would go if you didn't claim it. I would take it and help others e,g charity donations, food banks, there are lots of ways you could use this.

This is a real dilemma Luckygirl
I had no hesitation in applying for AA for my H as it means I can employ a cleaner, pay for occasional gardener and use taxis as I can't easily get out myself.
I also ,infrequently, use online grocery shopping when I don't feel up to going myself.
These are all new things needed since my H"'s illness, but I don't apply for council tax rebate, as I could, we payed it before and I feel that would be unfair, it isn't a new expense.

If you refused it the payments would not be given to another.

Why not accept it and give the money to research into your husbands illness , the money would still be helping someone with the same needs in the future

I would take it, save it, because we never know what is round the corner.

I think Ann makes a lot of sense, Lucky - you have talked about the difficulties you have encountered with your Dh so any help you can get is worth having. You might employ a 'sitter' for instance.

And Harri's point is well made!

You have paid into the system all your working life luckygirl and so has your partner.
Why shouldn't you claim it?
If there was a storm and your roof needing repairing, would you not claim on your insurance because you were not struggling financially?
The money you are entitled to wouldn't go to anyone else. It would stay just in the Treasury's coffers.

If you don't take it, that simply means HMG can spend it on all sorts of nonsense (or of course, the NHS) over which you have no say. OTOH if you accept it, you can give it worthy causes of your choosing. I'd take it.

Yes, Luckygirl, take the disability benefit. You and Mr L paid in throughout your lives, the benefit is there to give a little support during this difficult period in your lives. If you don't you can be sure it won't be 'saved' and given to someone whose financial need is considered greater.

I agree, there are many ways to use the money, not least to make your life just a little easier now possibly setting up things in case life got more difficult. Easier to have things in place before you need them!

There is a wider argument for taking the money.
In a system to which everyone contributes, it’s important that everyone at some stage gets something back.
If money is only paid out to disadvantaged people and the better off are excluded by means testing, this could lead to resentment and further fuelling of the divisions in our society.

The point about being able to pay for someone to sit in is a good one; also taxis etc.

Please apply for and take the money. The more people use the system as it is currently constructed the more likely we are to have reviews about how best to use the money being 'allocated'.

Huge swaths of benefits are not claimed but mean governments (of all flavours) can point to the fact that they are available even though few are actually benefiting from them.

I agree you should take it. DH had PIP and I had Carers Allowance when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had the benefit for less than a year. We didn’t need the money but it went to pay for some of the extras and to charity. It also meant we had a blue badge which was a godsend for hospital visits and trips out as time progressed.
As he died at 64 having worked 40 years he never received a state pension. Don’t feel bad about it, it is there to support you. Use it or give it away as others have said.

Do you feel you need the benefits this money will bring?
Personally, I wouldn't apply until they were necessary, ie I didn't apply for a bus pass until I had stopped work and I paid for the few medications that I needed rather than getting them on prescription.
You clearly feel uncomfortable about claiming them.

Take the allowances to which you are entitled. My mum eventually got the AA after years when I think she could have had it, but didn't. It pays towards care. We all pay taxes towards this which supports our welfare state. (Thank goodness.)

Do take it, please, you have paid tax all your life. Use the money to, as others have suggested, to pay for help, etc.

We felt very conflicted about claiming benefits for a very disabled younger relative but with the benefits, we discovered that other more practical help was also then also available.

?

You have both paid into the scheme and are not asking for anything that you are not legally entitled to. You are not taking from someone else by claiming this money. You say you are “ticking along” at the moment, but as you know, things can change in s heartbeat. You are not claiming this benefit so that you can go live it up on the Costa del Sol, or Blackpool ?. You are entitled to claim it to help make your husband’s and your lives just that little bit easier and less stressful financially. Excellent idea to use some for some respite and to help get around a little easier. I really think you should claim and as other posters have said, there might be an instance where you may need some extra money for an emergency. Please do it and help make your lives that little bit easier.

Where is the moral dilemma? You paid into an insurance scheme and are going to make a claim.

Forgot to mention too, some benefits can also be a route to claiming other kinds of help. You have to try think of possible future needs and requirements. You come across as a very caring and unselfish lady. Nobody would begrudge people in your situation claiming this help.

Lucky, on my hobby horse again.

I know you won't need help to fill in the form but please talk about the very worst of days and don't underestimate the help you do give ie laying out clothes, making drinks, ensuring drinks are drunk etc and times when your DH needs assistance in the night.

I assume that you have already got a blue badge - this is not dependent on AA but receiving AA might then have some other benefits kick in eg Pension Credit.

The Severe Mental Impairment act allows a person who has dementia to be discounted for Council Tax and has to be signed by your GP. That would mean a discount of 25%. You might need to explain it to your local council though!!

This is not a “benefit” but an entitlement.
No it would not go to somebody else but be a mere drop in the ocean of the “benefits pot”.
I put off applying for AA for paw for a year - mostly because I abhor filling in forms but also feeling like you, that there were those worse off. When I finally gave in and applied it came almost by return and “lasted “ only two months until his death.
Do it.

Luckygirl you need to think of your own needs as main carer too. Your caring role saves the state huge costs.
A bit of extra money would help you have some respite time as well as a few shared treats/outings.

Take it and use it as you wish. Otherwise the need will be unmeasured

If it's a genuine disability I would claim. The money can be saved for the future. Or part used to help others. I know many people claiming for invented illnesses just because they can . They are never better off they just waste it. If it's not claimed it doesn't just go to someone else who needs it. Saving for an unknown future is a good middle road in my opinion.