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Age appropriate?

(148 Posts)
mollie Fri 12-Jan-18 12:28:45

As I flicked through some magazines today I caught myself thinking ‘everyone’ featured or pictured was at least one generation younger and wondering where magazines aimed at me were. Then I heard my mums voice in my head, raging at another poor M&S manager for not stocking stuff suitable for her (she’s been doing it for the last 20years and I have no idea what she’s looking for) and that put me in my place. The point of all this is that at 60 and 10 months I’m not sure where I fit anymore. Do you? Lots of shops and print media seem aimed at the younger market and I don’t feel ready for those that are targeting the older market. There’s a thriving chick lit market for fiction but the attempt at hen lit just disappeared. Why? Life doesn’t stop at 50 so why don’t we want to read about women of our age?

Someone once said that it’s better to make friends with the younger generation, is that how you feel? Should we pick and choose from everything on offer whether it’s aimed at a different market or do you want stuff that you think is appropriate for your age? Are you happy with things as they are or would you like the gap in the market filled?

mollie Fri 12-Jan-18 19:33:03

Good point about how old you feel inside. Inside I feel 40, slimmer, stylish and confident but when I look in the mirror... why can’t I stick with my mental image! Lol!

M0nica Fri 12-Jan-18 19:59:00

I do not feel any age, and I never have done, which is probably why I struggle with concept of 'age appropriate'. I don't have any concept of an age to be appropriate to

Glitterknitbaby Fri 12-Jan-18 19:59:38

At nearly 70 I wear what I like and read what books I fancy, get most of my clothes and books in charity shops so don’t have to worry about going shopping the traditional way, M&S Next etc. I love the Boho look, jeans, treggins, long skirts, boots, denim shirts and all different kinds of tops. If people don’t like it hard luck, though I have had many compliments on my style

paddyann Fri 12-Jan-18 22:40:03

I've never felt my age either,I stll wear leggings and over the knee boots and high heels with knee length skirts and I wouldn't ever think something was too young for me ..just that it didn't suit me.I do like the company of younger folk too and my OH is the go to person for all the young men in the area who are into cars as he knows so much about them.He is friends with a lot of our sons friends who are 30 years his junior and often pops down to the pub with them for a pint and a blether .I dont know if it helps that he looks a good 20 years younger than he is dresses well and is conversant with new music and trends ...Age is just a number ..enjoy your life and dont worry about what other folk think .When they start to pay all your bills they can have a say in how you dress or behave ,until then its none of their business

etheltbags1 Fri 12-Jan-18 22:53:14

Reading these comments make me feel better. I too wonder what looks good. Im shopping for holidays so as cheapas possible as i wont wear them again. I dont thinl i follow any style just what is comfortable

Alexa Sat 13-Jan-18 01:07:02

I am a short old lady of 86 and I find plenty of stuff I can wear. I go to M and S for bras, black jog pants, black leggings, and knickers. BonMarche has 25 length black jeans.I like Gudrun Sjoden's tunics with trousers and trainers. If you look at her website she herself is featured wearing her stuff among the tall models.

WilmaKnickersfit Sat 13-Jan-18 02:23:26

I don't pay any attention to age either, just what I think will suit me. Size is the main issue for me as I'm plus size and I try very hard not to buy clothes that highlight my size. I don't pay high prices because I like to try new things and love buying clothes. I don't go shopping that often now because I buy online most of the time. Sometimes I go to the shop because I want to look at something before I order it.

I do buy magazines but I'm not loyal to any in particular. I just look at the cover and buy it if it looks good. Until recently I did buy Glamour every month because it's a good way to keep up-to-date. Most of the clothes that are fashionable wouldn't suit me, but I pay attention to textures as it's a good way of making a simple outfit look better. Love, love updating my accessories all the time. I'm a sucker for shoes, sandals, boots, bags, scarves and jewellery.

I also love makeup and skin care products and go through phases of trying new things.

I have two 'looks' - Boho/Cowgirl and Romantic (get me! grin) and I wear separates that I can mix and match.

There's so many resources online too, but I avoid websites that seem to assume that by our age - 50+ - we have plenty of money to buy clothes, etc. and that we're slim! grin

Willow500 Sat 13-Jan-18 06:09:22

I love steam punk stuff but have nowhere to wear such things these days but have a variety of 'rock chick' things I've bought over the years for festivals. I too don't dress age appropriately (whatever that is) and have wardrobes full of clothes. I've rarely found anything in M&S I like - in fact it took me nearly a year to spend a £100 voucher I had courtesy of their bank. I buy a lot of things online such as Kim & Co, Mr Max, Nina Leonard but also shop in New Look, River Island, Roman Originals and anywhere else I see something I like. I found a new Joe Brown store after Christmas in our shopping centre and bought two pieces from there. My problem is wearing them as I rarely go out and get so cold sitting at my desk in the winter I tend to live in several layers of warm things. I don't particularly like cropped trousers as my legs and feet are not pretty - they never were but jeans, leggings, long tops and the odd dress are my main wardrobe pieces. I did buy a short checked skirt a few weeks ago for the first time in decades and love it with thick black tights and boots. Who cares how old you are - just wear what suits you and what you feel comfortable in!

ninathenana Sat 13-Jan-18 09:23:34

I've just read this quote from Judy Garland on FB

"Always be a first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of someone else"

Quiet appropriate for this thread I think smile

wilygran Sat 13-Jan-18 09:37:19

I shop exclusively in TK Maxx & Primark. As the cheaper end of the market doesn't do age appropriate, I buy whatever suits me & is comfortable. I just love a bargain!

SussexGirl60 Sat 13-Jan-18 09:48:05

Hi Mollie, I do agree with you. Much of life seems to be geared up to younger people....or the very elderly...and the years in between do seem a little forgotten. I think it’s because they think more money can be made from those sectors of the population. So, establishing your own identity is indeed all the harder...it’s not there on a plate for you and it can feel like we are a forgotten generation sometimes. It’s all a balance I guess. I do like being with younger...and older people to an extent but there’s nothing like spending time with someone going through similar situations. (One reason why grans net is good!)

Jaycee5 Sat 13-Jan-18 09:49:01

There are websites like Sixtyplusurfers or silversurfers which are ok - but at 65 I feel that they are aimed at people older than me which I suppose makes me feel young in a perverse way.
I think the UK is much more divided amongst ages than most other countries.

SillyNanny321 Sat 13-Jan-18 09:52:46

Being a 73 year old I wear what I want & if someone doesnt like then tough on them! I volunteer 3 times a week in a charity shop processing all the donated books. Love it as worked in many libraries & love books. Some books are in a bad condition especially those from the Bookbank that get wet & dirty. So doing this 'job' I wear tshirts & jeans as they can go straight in the washing machine after. Tshirts have dragons, bands I like (mainly rock @ metal) & blow what anyone thinks.

GrannyCarrots Sat 13-Jan-18 09:53:30

Women of that 'certain age' almost become invisible in the media. It's not easy and it does pose the questions about clothing, behaviour etc. I try to just be what it is true to me. I'm 60 very soon and my partner got me a pair of purple Doc Marten boots for Christmas that I wear with skinny black jeans....don't know if that's age appropriate clothing and mostly I don't care. How society has interpreted age has changed consistently throughout history and across cultures. There's nothing 'natural' about age appropriateness.

NannyJan53 Sat 13-Jan-18 09:56:39

I am 64 and never think of my age when shopping for clothes, just the size and price!

I shop mainly and Debenhams, TXMaxx, but I often get real bargains in charity shops such as Phase Eight, and Hobbs!

I have always been a jeans person, and have many pairs, quite a few charity shop finds.

Pittcity Sat 13-Jan-18 09:57:12

I was surprised to see turtle neck sweaters and checked trousers as a latest fashion outfit in High Street shops.....I thought that was a look that my 90 plus MIL wore!

LongHaulGran Sat 13-Jan-18 09:58:18

Mollie, I think you're right - our age group (past 58 or so, I'm 61) seems essentially invisible. I freely admit I watch EastEnders and it's mostly to see the character of 60yo Kathy. She's one of the very few women my age being portrayed as a real (ok, as 'real' as possible on EE, lol) person with real interests that (gasp!) include a not-over-the-top interest in finding a love interest. She's definitely not invisible, her character isn't written as doddering into old age.

When I met and eventually fell in love with my 'new' husband (coming up on seven years next week) I was in my early fifties and my supposedly adult children were openly disturbed at the thought he and I might have a relationship that included what they politely termed 'marital-like relations'. I'd been widowed for several years and they were all for the new relationship until they realised I might, gasp, actually go off for a wild weekend with my new beau.

I don't see television programes featuring real stories about women our age, I don't see books aimed at us in a way that looks at our real interests, and the label 'elderly' applied to a mere 60something is nothing short of an insult in my book.

I honestly do feel unless our generation is handy for interest-free 'loans' and as scapegoats for all the world ills, younger people would like us to be invisible and work at making us so.

Soniah Sat 13-Jan-18 10:02:01

As long as you aren't harming anyone else do what you like and are comfortable with, I love bright colours, leggings with seasalt tunics, anokhi for East, long skirts, doc Martins, felted wool jackets, lots of costume jewellery, knee length fuchsia pink suave boots, newfrom a charity shop a few years ago and often admired by complete strangers, an brightly coloured Avocet coat also from a charity shop and also often admired but I don't really mind what other people think of my dress sense, it makes me happy. I can't be depressed if I'm wearing bright colours and I'm not sure what is supposed to be acceptable for someone in their sixties, do people really worry now?

LongHaulGran Sat 13-Jan-18 10:02:04

Whoops, I should have used 'preview'! My children came right out and said the thought of my being interested in romance was embarrassing, and yes, the phrase 'age-appropriate' was used. Both son and daughter found it appalling I might want something like that, my son said 'Don't you think at your age you might be past all that?'

Grr.

Cabbie21 Sat 13-Jan-18 10:03:20

As far as clothes are concerned, comfort and fit are what counts for me. Nothing too short, whether sleeves or hem, nor too tight, as I am a plus size. Mostly trousers so I can wear the comfortable shoes I need. If that makes me look frumpy, too bad. I am lucky to have a Boundary Mills not far away which has a huge range at excellent prices.
One thing I do wonder about, is how long I am going to go on colouring my hair. sorry if this offends anyone, not intended, but I and everyone I know of my age(72) who colours their hair does not look their age. Yet when I am really old I think it will look wrong.
In general, Saga magazine’s articles are quite appropriate and outward looking, but their adverts are for walk in showers, retirement villages, Wiltshire farm foods etc.
I would like inspiration for more interesting things.

Sheilasue Sat 13-Jan-18 10:04:00

I remember the late fifties when we were dressing like our parents. Then the sixties changed all that. Now I think you wear what you like and what you feel good in I was going to say comfortable but changed my mind, there is a lot of style for the older woman and you have to look beyond M&S and Next. I think we are looking smarter. When I go to Bluewater I kent quite a lot of ladies my age look great.

ajanela Sat 13-Jan-18 10:08:17

Thank you Mollie for this thread which has generated lots of comments showing how gransnetters dress and do how they want and don't feel they need to fit into an older type.

Re books I belong to a book club which means I read a wide variety book so at first I didn't understand your problem but on reflection much of the best selling fiction written about the older generation is written around dementia, ageing etc. Models for clothes always look so young but a friend's daughter of 50 and others in that age group look amazingly young to me so maybe some of the models are not as young as we think.

I do buy clothes in M&S need to search but plain jumpers, trousers and bras and pants. I liked East but my local shop closed and there isn't one near and I am no good at buying online.

Not sure the English weather encourages smart outdoor wear and I see far too much dull grey and beige. Brighten up a dull wet day by wearing a colourful raincoat.

A bugbear, why do people say they are nearly 73 when they are 72. I am sure we didn't say I am nearly 49 when we were 48. I am 72 and I like that number.

Blinko Sat 13-Jan-18 10:08:37

Pittcity, I think that model looks fine in the turtle neck and the check. I wonder what size she is?

luluaugust Sat 13-Jan-18 10:11:12

I do agree the shops and media are missing a trick but maybe that is a good thing for us over 60's (well over 70 actually) I was looking at photos of my aunts in their 60's and they look at least 75, not wishing to be age appropriate I wear much the same as my daughters, trousers, tops of all sorts occasional dress and tights, big thing that lets me down is having to wear flat shoes now.

maddyone Sat 13-Jan-18 10:11:48

age appropriate Haa, but what does it really mean? I have to confess that there are some things that I really won't wear now (I'm 64) and the one I'm very strict on is skirts/dresses above the knee. My legs are quite good for my age, but I don't want my knees on show, it doesn't look good on me, especially since I'm size 16.
I wear jeans all the time now I'm retired - never wore them before. And a variety of tops, jumpers, tee-shirts, tunics. And cardigans, lovely longer length ones often, in summer shorter light ones.
I buy quite a lot in M and Co, but also lots of other shops if they have something I like. I do buy in M and S, almost all my underwear, pjs, socks, dressing gowns, and coats. My mum bought me a lovely feather and down jacket for Christmas from M and S, and last year for a trip to Iceland, I bought a heavier weight feather and down coat. It's really lovely, looks nice, and is oh so snuggly.