Looking back

I wanted to fall in love get married, have children and a home and enjoy life. My first h cheated on me and I divorced him but he did give me 3 wonderful children and I was lucky enough to fall in love again and remarry. I have a gorgeous little dgs and another gc on the way and they make me so very happy. My house is far bigger than I thought I would ever have. I am financially better off than I could have imagined, but my health not so wonderful. One thing though, I never realised how much I would miss loved ones after they had died. I often still feel sad when I think I won't ever see them again.

Dontaskme that is sad, do you feel able to share why you had to be 'normal' in your early twenties? I do know what you mean - until my late 30s I worked in a developing country and had an amazing time, but then had to return to the UK; after that, I had my dd, but other than that, I have always felt since then that I have become bored and boring

A lot of your post really resonates with me Dontaskme .

Like you, I was full of fun when I was young. I had a large friendship group and had huge dreams of becoming a social worker and how "I would really make a difference". I passed my 11+ and was the only person in my family ever to do so. I had such high hopes.

Moving on... I got myself pregnant at 17 (almost 18) with a complete waste of space and my happy go lucky life came to a very abrupt end. I know I "made my bed" but what happened to the person I was supposed to be? Where did she go?

I didn't have a life plan but I did love someone very much but we decided to go our own ways and if it was meant to be we would get together again. We each found someone else and there have certainly been plenty of ups and downs but life is OK and I've been lucky enough to have had some wonderful experiences over the years - and some ghastly ones. I'm glad I didn't have a life plan as the convoluted path I've followed has certainly been interesting!

I always feel my life started after I married. I had a very lonely childhood. Was born 10 and 13 years after my sisters and was always told as a child that I was a mistake. I was a rather sensitive child and was bullied at school, but if I said anything at home was told to "just get on with it". Was introduced to my husband by a friend and we just hit it off. Met and married within 6 months, and have just celebrated our Golden wedding. Have 3 wonderful children and 6 grandchildren. Life has had its ups and downs, whose hasn't, but there have been so many more ups. I have so much more than I could ever have hoped for as a child and think I have been blessed.

Wanted to work at something that would make a difference to peoples lives rather than make money for someone. Achieved that but at the cost of being poorly paid. Responsibly saved for my old age. Am now financially and emotionally supporting a grandchild with severe mental health problems. However after marrying far too young and him walking out on me (with my best friend) met the love of my life. He has severe health issues and is rather on borrowed time but we are happy together. My planned financial security hasn't worked out and I sometimes regret all those years of being responsible and wish I had travelled more, but in the main I'm content.

I never had a master plan for my life, but my best decision was to go to work overseas as a teacher - a profession that is a great passport. Those five years proved to be the most memorable of my life. I came back to UK married and pregnant. There are no 'wrong' decisions, as, even when some things don't work out, good things can happen. The marriage didn't last, but my sons are at the centre of my life along with my lovely GC. The marriage break-up allowed me to be 'me', to take the kind of holidays I loved and to get involved in local politics.
Je ne regrette rien!

My only ambitions in my childhood and teens were to travel and to write. I was adamant that I didn’t want children.

Well, I’ve travelled, a lot! I’ve always prioritised it, so we’ve never had a big house or fancy lifestyle, but I’ve absolutely no regrets on that score and so many happy memories to look back on.

Oh, and I’ve 3 children and 4 grandsons, all of them currently happy, healthy and living near enough for us to see lots of them. They are my pride and joy - how could I ever have thought I didn’t want this?!

I’ve been very blessed and very lucky and take nothing for granted - life can change in a minute.

Though I might have enough time left to write that book.