Family portraits

My DM had a theory about passport photos - that one is either the murderer or the victim.
Snaps always have me in the least favourable light. It is a parody of what I think I look like - but "beauty is in the eye..." as they say. Perhaps one should look beyond the book cover, so to speak?
Like the others, I'm not too bad in the mirror [though I try to avoid those].
Since I am the snapper of the family, I am usually behind the camera...

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201803/medium-352952-053eab65-9016-46ff-903c-3a000db582da.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201803/medium-302872-0db084c7-7bc8-400b-871b-77e751e65260.jpeg

Not keen on photos of me but I suspect you are being hyper critical!
I think family portraits are wonderful for future generations but would never go to the lengths Susan Carter did in the Archers!
Just two, one of us about 30 years ago (apologies if it comes up sideways) and one of my grandpa, his brother and two sisters probably from 130 years ago if not more!
In this day of “the cloud” and everything being on computers, you can’t beat a real family picture.

I don't like many photos of myself, so I am pretty selective. But I've often wondered, whether that makes me very vain or very insecure. I'm sure a psychologist could tell me.

I used to be the same till i told myself that the people who want to take photographs of me know what i look like and that is the me they like. Just because i don't like how I look is irrelevant and presumably a bit annoying for them.

Photos are important for future generations. My grandmother died when my mother was born and my grandfather and great grandmother burnt all photos of her. It was a great sadness for my mother to never have seen what her mother looked like. Many years after my mother died, I was doing her family history and was contacted by a lady who thought that she had some photos of my grandmother. It was one of the best moments of my life, opening the files and seeing the pictures my mother had longed to see. My mother looked just like her mother, so my grandfather must have had a constant reminder of his first wife! Please leave a few photos for your family. They will long to see your image.

I’m not fond of my photo being taken but my kids see my face more often than I do so if they are happy taking my picture then it’s ok with me!

Strangely, I actually look better in photos/videos than I do when I look in the mirror, particularly videos where my face seems very animated and expressive. I have 'appeared' on the TV a few times and been amazed at how good I looked - no oil painting of course, I was never a beauty, but certainly interesting and lively.

I'd have loved to have seen photos of family members that I either never knew or were too young to remember. Which is why as much as I really do hate posing for the camera & have ruined so many photos-trying to look relaxed and natural but instead looking more like something out of Madame Taussauds. I won't object to a more candid shot ( I know you're looking at me with your camera but I'm not looking your way for anything )
This will at least be a memory captured for my grandchildren to show their grandchildren.

Well this is a common phobia that people have. It is easy to get ride of. Using theNLP fast phobia cure it will take roughly 10 minutes.
Look on UTube for the fast phobia cure.
Best Wishes
Joseph Grennell
Child Psychotherapist and NLP Master practitioner.

I just take my specs off and give a big cheesy smile. The smile is what makes you look good.

MawBroon
Re. " you can’t beat a real family picture"...I so agree and both of yours are great.
I've just completed a Genealogy course with FutureLearn which has prompted me to take a trip down memory lane, looking through our family photos.
Unfortunately, I have only two of my Mum, one when she was 6 years old and her wedding photo. She cut herself out of all the others. Such a loss

Blondiescot, I know just how you feel. I'm the same. DH will keep taking sneaky photos of me and I always look dreadful. It's made worse when there's a family photo and the "snapper" says smile! I wish the ground would swallow me up then. You and I are clearly not alone! ?

Me, I'm afraid. Mother refused to ever have photos of me from birth as I was "so ugly" and destroyed any my father took.

I just can't seem to put that aside in how I feel about myself so I don't think there are actually any extant photos of me in the world beyond the wedding ones my H insisted on. Certainly absolutely none of me and my children.

Sorry to blunt ladies, but isn’t this just vanity? I do not believe that photographs make anybody look any different. We are what we are.

MawBroon
What beautiful girls.
Yesrerday my daughter put up a collage of me from when I was 24 to present day on her FB site. She has a few ex's on there who know me. A couple commented " your mums still looking good" made my day

10 months ago I had a reasonably uncommon 'medical incident'. I was very aware that the next time I visited my daughter (4 months later, she lives overseas and I wasn't allowed to fly) she took photographs of us together, which we'd never really bothered with before. It struck me why, and although I was slightly taken aback because I intend to go on for a fair few years yet I was also quite touched.

gummybears
That made me tearful for you.

Gummybears you are not descended from Queen Victoria are you? It is said she often criticised her children for being ugly and that makes me so angry - where did she think faces and features come from?
I am truly sorry your mum had this weird idea and can imagine the psychological consequences. How could she?
One often sees babies (usually of the Churchillian variety) and thinks “well at least his mum must love him” but every baby is beautiful to those who love it just as we love our old dears and hope they love us back!

I am pretty horrified at my ageing face in photos but it is not easy for others if one refuses to be in a family snap.

My son put on weight when he was fifteen and refused to be in any photos until he was into his twenties. Consequently I have no record of him growing up which nigh on broke my heart.

I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in this. I do have a passport - but hated having my pic taken for it - and I need to renew it now so will have to go through that ordeal again. And believe me, it's definitely not down to vanity - I'm one of the least vain people you could ever meet - but I am one of those people who actually looks worse when they smile!

I know I'm not photogenic, and its been confirmed at various times with bus drivers laughing at my bus pass picture, and someone asking if I was having a bad day when my passport photo was taken.

Theresamb, get your photograph 'flipped' so that you are viewing the face that you see in the mirror - really interesting what a difference it makes.

Does anyone like having photos taken? ( unless they are a model? NO - I don't think so!) We are all so vain and don't like they way we look, until after a few years we look back less objectively and think we did not look that bad after all. But it is such a shame not to have your picture taken because your family love you warts and all and when we are gone grandchildren and future generations will love our photos. ( I am doing my family tree and really cherish the oldest photos I have found) Maybe we should stop being so vain!

Recently my daughter arranged to have a family portrait taken while my two GC's are still living at home. She asked if I was free to let her two elderly dogs out while the family were having the photo taken, as they would be taking the two younger dogs and the family cat, to be in the photo.

I don't particularly like having my photo taken and nor did my late husband but fortunately I had a few of him which I could put on display.
These days you have to wonder where they're going to end up - on social media for instance without being asked first.