Somehow I DON'T think that's what you meant!

Mr P had a similar garden centre incident, when he asked the assistant if they had any trailing labia
Oh Phoenix stop!!! I literally spat my tea out when I read that

Our community forums!

Someone on one of your community forums wrote about "putting things into perspex"

When I was teaching Yr 6 sex ed we were discussing what we were looking forward to when we grew up. We had having a job, being independent, earning money and many other ideas. One boy then told me he was looking forward to masturbation!! The TA in the class looked at each other and tried not to laugh. He then carried on to explain he meant feeling free and it emerged he meant emancipation.
We still laugh about this lesson today.

Not a malapropism, but yesterday I was driving behind a van, company name "Shorts", advertising among other things, portable loos for hire. Made me smile.

Was Mr P after lobelia Phoenix?

Our window cleaner told me he'd seen DH just going off on his bike in his lurex. (He meant lycra)

This was the same window cleaner who had his van painted with his contact details and described himself as "Vision Technician".

Lots of Mrs Malaprop clones out there,? more please!

I was nortifies as a young teeager when my mother asked a shop assistant if shd had any durex to for me to decorate something or other. She meant lurex thread of course.

POGS did you get your wish?!

My mum used to muddle words. Sorry if I have poisted this before .

One day she was telling the tale she found amusing on the radio about a well known local park and 'the mans dog came out of the bushes with a ' condiment ' in it's mouth'.

I said what's funny about that and as she explained I realised she meant condom.

You know when you open your mouth and you realise you have changed a word , such as when somebody mentions Brexit but it comes out as Breakfast, I asked last year at the airport if could ' shit on an aisle seat please ' and the ckeck in girl said with a perfectly straight face 'I'll arrange that for you'

Brilliant, ladies! You've made me chuckle so much I'm having to dry my eyes so I can see the read the next ones. ???

phoenix I cannot work out what Mr. P wanted!

Ladies, do you mind, I am attempting to eat my baked potato and I am roaring my head off at some of these faux pas (sp).

I am chuckling at these! A friend was once talking about decorating living room and had decided she was going to have a dildo rail!

Hmm Can't believe I'm writing this.
Someone I knew who shall forever remain nameless wanted to buy cerise pink paint
What they asked for was clitoris pink paint
pronouncing it clitoreese pink

thanks for the chuckles on a grey day

Giggling about the Lady Boy chair!

Mr P had a similar garden centre incident, when he asked the assistant if they had any trailing labia

My DH once asked at a garden centre
"was it chlamydia that you wanted"?
Hmm close I was actually looking for a cyclamen

SiL wanted a new chair. The Lady Boy sort !!!!!

( Lazy Boy )

Aw, that is rather sweet bless him.

From personal experience I doubt it.

Maybe she is !

Love it!