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(28 Posts)
Nana2934 Tue 10-Apr-18 21:36:18

Hi am new on here am having a nightmare as my sons girlfriend had another baby boy noing she can’t keep it I’ve all ready got there son who I have had from birth he 4 now so I thought I would of atomically got the new baby but for some reason I got a negative assment because of my son and his girlfriend behaviour towards me and said they dint think it was a good idea baby coming to me so we went to court and the judge said I hand to have a independent social workers report Which was positive so I thought this good but went to a cor meeting yesterday and found out social service still want to have my grandson adopted I just don’t understand why can anyone advice please
am going bk to court on 14th of may

BlueBelle Wed 11-Apr-18 07:00:38

Nana I m not sure I can be of any help but I didn’t like to see you with no answers
First welcome to GN I m not sure I totally understand your post tell me if I’ve got it right
Your daughter and boyfriend had a baby boy who was taken away and given to you to bring up from birth and you still have him four years on (Obviously a big problem with your daughter or her life style) She has now given birth to another boy - where is he at the moment ? And you don’t think the authorities want you to have both boys and you are asking complete strangers why, but Nana how will we know, have you asked social services for a reason
Perhaps they think two boys are too much for you to manage

ninathenana Wed 11-Apr-18 07:15:07

They are her son's children.

I agree BlueBelle, we don't know enough or have the expertise to comment.

Nana2934 Wed 11-Apr-18 07:54:20

Hi he in foster to adopt at the minute I had a independent assessment and it was positive but the Local authorities still want him adopted

Iam64 Wed 11-Apr-18 08:03:51

You need to be legally represented. The Court makes the final decision.
Often, but not always, in family courts the Judge asks the local authority to pay the relatives' legal bills.

Iam64 Wed 11-Apr-18 08:07:08

Sorry, we need an edit button. I see your OP is called sgo , which suggests you have a Special Guardianship Order on the grandchild in your care.

harrigran Wed 11-Apr-18 08:47:29

I am sorry I did not understand any of the post but you are clearly in need of support, I hope someone can help you.

jenpax Wed 11-Apr-18 08:51:11

Hi I would urge you to get a solicitor to represent you as soon as possible if you have not already done so. I don’t know the back ground to your situation as you didn’t really say why SS were opposing your application for SGO for the baby. Are there any other family who would be able and willing to be considered for SGO if you aren’t able to so that the baby is not adopted?

Teetime Wed 11-Apr-18 10:11:48

Nana2934 I am so sorry that you are in this distressing position and I don't have any expertise in this area but Gransnet is a good place to share your worries and get some comfort so please keep posting.

Nana2934 Wed 11-Apr-18 10:21:18

I’ve already had a sgo for my 4year old but they don’t want me to have one for my other grandson even though I’ve got a positive report now x

Chinesecrested Wed 11-Apr-18 19:37:33

I have heard, (although I don't know how accurate it is) that there is a target the sociàl worker has to meet and she gets a bonus of £5000 if she can get a child adopted. We were in a similar situation a couple of years ago, and that was what we were hearing. What you need is an independent assessment from a social worker NOT connected to your local council (and therefore who won't benefit personally).

Granny23 Wed 11-Apr-18 20:19:38

I know that in a similar situation in our county, the family member asking for custody of the child got a lot of help from the local Councillor for her ward, who was able to challenge the SWD on her behalf.

Nana2934 Wed 11-Apr-18 20:35:40

I’ve had a independent assessment and that was positive an he had said the baby should of been with me from the start but the local Authority still want him to be adopted x

jenpax Wed 11-Apr-18 20:43:52

It’s absolutely not true that social workers get any bonus for placing children for adoption!!

lemongrove Wed 11-Apr-18 21:04:34

That will certainly not be the case Chinesecrested !
They will be doing what they consider best for the baby.
Nana2934 You already have a four year old to look after, surely another child would be too much for you?
What on earth are your son and partner thinking to keep on having babies they either don’t want or can’t look after?
Why can’t they look after them?

Iam64 Wed 11-Apr-18 21:10:07

Chinesecrested- it's absolutely untrue that social workers are given bonuses for placing children for adoption.
The Children Act makes absolutely clear that children should be supported to remain with birth parents, where all attempts fail, or assessments say its too high risk, family members are to be considered. Adoption is the final option.

Nana2934 Wed 11-Apr-18 21:22:29

Am only 50 I brought 6 children up of my own with no social workers involvement I’ve never been in trouble in my life I’ve looked after my grandson for last 4 year from birth am fit and heathy so one more child makes no difference to me and the independent social worker as said I should of had the baby from birth and has give me a positive report he has recommended the baby comes to me it’s the local Authority that want him adopted I’ve got a nice home I got a bedroom ready for him with everything in it so I can’t get my head round why they trying to get him adopted when he as got family that want him

BlueBelle Wed 11-Apr-18 21:59:15

Nana there must be some real reason as I m sure they want to a) keep two siblings together and b) have the baby looked after by a family member Yes 50 is not too old to look after two children so there must be a reason as they are not over run with foster parents
Is whatever problcem has meant your son and daughter in law have lost both children have an influence do they live with you? or close by you? Are they afraid they will influence how you bring them up Why do they trust you with one child but not two These are all questions you need to ask your solicitor/social worker
Chinesecrested that’s not a good thing to be passing round and I m sure totally unfounded

Nana2934 Thu 12-Apr-18 10:55:06

No the parents live bout 3 mile away

jenpax Thu 12-Apr-18 14:40:38

I would think that SS would have given their reasons for objecting to the order if they haven’t then the judge would make enquiries!! Usual reasons would be if your health or that of others in the home would possibly impact on your ability to care for the new baby as well as the older child or if you were not putting boundaries in with regard to contact with the parents (assuming such restrictions are in place) or there are worries about your financial resilience or the impact of contact with wider family or friends. I can’t know the reasons as you have provided them

MawBroon Thu 12-Apr-18 17:19:16

I appreciate you can’t go into too much detail because of anonymity, but why are they having another baby if they know they can’t keep it?
Is it for the same reason you have their 4-year old?
It is so hard to give any advice at all when there are few facts.

mcem Thu 12-Apr-18 17:30:43

My SW niece works in fostering/adoption and would be horrified at the suggestion that she earns a bonus for every child who's adopted!

Day6 Thu 12-Apr-18 17:44:32

Hi Nana2934. You mention your relationship with your son and his girlfriend as a reason the baby won't be brought up by you. Is that the crux of the matter? Obviously, bringing children into the world that they won't be allowed to raise, for whatever reason, is very irresponsible. If you are having lots of contact with them that might not be the best situation for the baby. Only you know the circumstances of the case but I imagine knowing you have another grandchild out there that you cannot see or love must be very hard.

Shelee Mon 18-Feb-19 11:48:22

We currently have an SGO for our 3 granddaughters, there mother is an absolute nightmare making allegations against us and our wider family, it is putting a strain on our family life. Social workers are telling us there is nothing they can do. Is there any advice someone can give to Safeguard us from this abuse?

ninathenana Mon 18-Feb-19 12:09:09

Shelee you have added to a thread from April '18. It may have been better to start your own.
However, I think it would be difficult to give advice about dealing with the abuse if SS say there is nothing they can do.