The things I regret......

To Lilypops, Don't regret being a stay-at-home mum & not having a career. I'll tell you why: I left school at 16, married at 21, had 3 kids too quickly, did A levels at evening class, when the youngest started school went to university as a mature student, got a full time job, ran myself ragged looking after the family, aged parent & in- law's, ran church bookstall, got fat through comfort eating, then my husband had an affair with a colleague which wrecked my equanimity for ever. You can't have it all, in spite of feminist propaganda.

I agree with the op about treasuring every moment when your children are little. When we are young, we don’t know how quickly those times pass.

Getting married when I did but if I had not then I would not have my DS & DiL & my lovely GC. So maybe not so bad after all!

Don't get me started!!! And yes, I know we can't change the past, but oh how I wish I'd had a career in costume design, or floristry, or millinery .... anything except becoming a secretary.... What a waste of my creative talents...
And I regret that my daughter left to live in USA in 1996.
I can't help it, I DO have regrets....

Yes.....being too busy with pointless 'stuff' and not realising that childhood is so short and the sad bit is that those tiny, loved people disappear and are never seen again. If you are lucky (and I am) you have the adult version but sometimes I have ached for the days when they were little. If only I could go back and hand out more hugs and play more silly games rather than dusting or fussing over nothing. And people pleasing. I tried so long and so hard to please a couple of horrible people who were never going to like me any way and resented my very existence; what a waste all that was. I should have employed 'F off' probably but too late now. Other than that - I try to live in the moment and not dwell on past mistakes that can't be changed - but can be forgotten.

Not seeing either of my parents before they died. Marrying my first husband, estrangement from my daughters. The eternal struggle to make ends meet throughout the last 40 years and not being a home-owner - lost my house as part of my divorce. Above all, not having been sufficiently dedicated to my professional violinist career, although now I can no longer play at all due to severe arthritis

People pleasing throughout my life instead of standing back, occasionally and saying "I want". And not having my teeth done when I was working and could easily afford it.

I regret not sorting out all my crap treasures last year so I could sell up and move into the city - as a result I found myself snowed in twice this winter!

Regret is such a negative activity. It won't change anything, and is only good for wallowing in. Yes, we've all made mistakes. We're only human after all. The important thing is to learn from them, and to turn a negative into a positive.

Poppyred, mine are exactly the same as yours. Now I am in my 70's I keep thinking back as to what I would have differently.
It has been worrying me for some time now.

Everything since ,1966, except staying near my older parents whilst my siblings cleared off to live their own lives. Also, being so cheerful, (not)

Mostly I regret not realising how important some things were at the time and valuing them more. I gave up a well paid job to stay ay home with my children. At the time I envied those friends of mine with careers and foreign holidays. But now I have special moments I treasure that I'd have missed had I not been there. I regret though the long hours my husband worked.
I'm seen too many people die far too young to regret materialistic things.

I refuse to pander too deeply in regrets and try putting my sparse energy into making those perhaps areas that could be better, very much better..... whilst there are some things in life I believe that simply was meant to be,and it it is that initial stepping stone that brings you on to other things at a later date.

I regret not being more assertive in my marriage. I don't regret the marriage itself, we had some good times, and we have four lovely children, but I think I was too afraid of losing him, and became complicit in his mean treatment of me. It might have failed earlier, who knows, or we might have established a more equal relationship, who knows, but I would have avoided at least ten years of a pretty miserable married life if I'd stood up for myself more. Having said that, life is good, and it doesn't do to think too much about "what if...."

Not having the confidence to voice my own opinions and deal with consequences instead I just agreed for the sake of peace

Well - I could have loads of regrets, but what's the point? The things I did or said all taught me lessons, and I think it is how you view the past which is more important. Have a laugh over them, lighten up and let yourselves off the hook, and make the regrets into funny stories you tell the grandkids!

Being a "people pleaser" for so long. Many times I have agreed to do something I didn't want to do simply because I didn't want to upset someone.

Oh yes me too MillieBear!!

HA HA MillieBear!

Not telling more people to F off

NfkDumpling Everybody dies alone in the end. It's how the process works. Do not regret your absence. Rather, remember how you were there when your parents were alive. That is what really matters.

Not going to the Beatles concert in my town in 1963. I missed the beginning of Beatle Mania because I didn't like crowds !

Following my best friend into nursing instead of thinking for myself. I had a 43 year career in a field that never really "fit".

Marrying my 1st husband instead of travelling and learning about life.

Marrying my first serious boyfriend and thinking it was "true lurve". We live and learn...and learn and...

Much

Yes Day6 that is. School should have a 'life' class to try and explain why it's so important to try and match what you like doing with a job that's going to take most of your precious time. Wish i had more common sense when growing up.