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Time Alone

(62 Posts)
NanKate Wed 02-May-18 07:43:01

I know I am very lucky to still have my DH.

This coming May Bank holiday Friday to Tuesday DH will be with our DS and GSs and I will be home alone, just like many other Gransnetters. I can’t join the family as I promised to look after a friend’s house and cats which I am happy to do.

I have planned to clear out the wardrobes of clothes I never wear. Have an express manicure. Have invited a widowed friend round for coffee. Visit the French Market. Have my trusty IPad ready. Finish a book. But then I might start feeling a bit lonely.

How would you or do you fill your time alone ?

kittylester Wed 02-May-18 07:51:52

It rarely happens here, Kate but I relish being a football widow and find I just pootle about. You sound as though you will be well occupied!

This coming weekend, DH and I were planning to be at the Cheltenham Jazz Festival, leaving our neighbour to pop in and feed the cats.

However, we think one of the cats is about to have kittens and feel it would be unfair to expect him to cope with that.

The upshot is that dh will go to Cheltenham and I will stay at home. I expect to do some gardening, sit in the garden and keep an eye on the cat!!

Pittcity Wed 02-May-18 07:54:12

I like to binge watch programmes and films that DH wouldn't be keen on.

yggdrasil Wed 02-May-18 08:11:39

I have a partner not a husband. We don't live in the same house. We spend every weekend together, and holidays.
But during the week I have my house to myself, and can do just what I want. And ditto for him, He does clear up all the radio and bike parts from the kitchen before I get there grin
We can phone & email any time, even when he is at work. I can't imagine having someone around under my feet all the time. Lonely? No

Marydoll Wed 02-May-18 08:26:21

DH is out playing golf⛳ at this moment and I'm sitting in bed on my tablet, something I wouldn't normally do. I'm relishing the peace and quiet and just being able to take my time. I rarely have time to myself or lie in bed.
I intend to clear out some wardrobes this morning and get rid of things for charity shop.

sodapop Wed 02-May-18 08:27:51

I like to catch up with films, tv etc too. Some jobs that are easier to do without interruption, eat junk food and read a lot.
In between times I have to walk the dogs so it's not all slobbing out 😀

BlueBelle Wed 02-May-18 08:30:49

This is my daily life 😂
it’s good to be lonely sometimes makes you appreciate whoever your missing ENJOY the space sounds like you have a good plan

mcem Wed 02-May-18 09:04:40

I live alone but am not at all lonely. I have frequent visits and overnight stays with DGCs plus a reasonably busy social life.
I cherish my my independence and freedom of choice! I have no problems filling my time.

Anniebach Wed 02-May-18 09:08:15

I have lived alone for over twenty years, never been lonely but am now because family has moved on .

MawBroon Wed 02-May-18 09:16:21

I used to sometime * long* to have the house to myself for a couple of hours because anywhere Paw went, I had to take or accompany him. The exception would be hospital admissions but even then I was kept busy fielding phone calls, washing pyjamas and visiting usually twice a day.
It is lovely to have that “space” when it is a luxury.
But I should have been careful what I wished for, shouldn’t I?
Enjoy having the place to yourself, it is so much easier to get things done smile

Panache Wed 02-May-18 09:25:44

This is something I live with for the best part of my time over these latter years.

Yes I too have a DH but he is not only my Carer but he takes care of our quite substantial property,prepares all the meals plus takes good care of fairly large grounds.
Therefore as you can understand I am left more or less alone for many long and tedious hours.
This was the prime reason for putting our house on the market with thoughts of a great down sizing into a Retirement apartment which would then free up so much more of his time ..........benefiting his health and giving us that precious time to share together.
Sadly at the last minute our sale fell through and our pipe dream crashed at Christmas.
We are about to start the awful business all over again,a daunting prospect but we so need time to be simply together.

I am more than well aware how precious is this time together,we never know for how long..... so it is up to each of us to make the very most of that time we do have together.

In the earlier days my Volunteering/counselling cancer
patients and those with life limiting illnesses took up most of my time, and I was as "Happy as a pig in muck"" excuse the expression!!
Whilst when well enough I could partake in my love of gardening, pottering about amongst my pots and window boxes.
Sadly no more though.
Then I learnt the rudim ents of computing, and thereby found these Forums...... which then meant I could follow my first love of writing.
That kept me happy again filling my every moment spent alone.
Whilst a little reading,keeping up with the main events of the world,some T.v and lots of crosswords help fill up the rest.
My love of fashion has never waned so I get a lot of pleasure in following styles and choosing garments that will enhance my life such as it is now.

I have never been lonely, but I must admit these latter months and its uncertainty, has had me very aware of my own fraility, and I am more eager than ever to get our lives sorted.
My motto being........"Where there is a will there is a way!!"

Menopaws Wed 02-May-18 09:37:50

Isn't it a bitter sweet thing, we want space then we get space then we miss the company that filled the space. I love alone time but love husbands company but also,aware it won't be forever so I do appreciate peace and company in equal measures I think.

eazybee Wed 02-May-18 09:54:04

Because I am an only child I rarely feel lonely and enjoy my own company, but do find the summer months tiresome, when all my activities close down, friends are totally preoccupied with grandchildren, and TV is rubbish.
This year I will spend more time in the garden.

Gagagran Wed 02-May-18 09:58:07

There is a difference between loneliness and solitude I think. Solitude is peaceful and calm but loneliness is empty and sad. At least that's how I see it.

Harris27 Wed 02-May-18 10:06:39

Read 'panache' agree with her and thinking of downsizing now while we're still fit enough to do it. A friend died a few days ago and she was on,y 67 .it make you realise that you have to do things now. I will be on my own sinday and have decided to sort my winter wardrobe out, sort some clothes for jumble and read a book if I'm lucky. I still work so time alone is precious. Love family time but also look forward to me time.

Sar53 Wed 02-May-18 10:06:42

My OH is going to France this evening for a week. I am going to stay with DD2 and 2 DGD's til Sunday then I will be home alone til next Wednesday.
I will spend my time reading, catching up with tv and watching GofT which I have recently discovered and OH isn't interested in.
I will eat what I like when I want it.
I'll probably go for a walk along the seafront if we have some sun.
I do get lonely but have learnt to live with it.

Venus Wed 02-May-18 10:15:58

As one Gransnetter said, solitude is different from loneliness.

Since the loss of my husband, I now know what loneliness is. Even being with family is not the same as being with your lifelong soul mate. Relish the time you have with your partner because it may not last forever.

Jimbow15 Wed 02-May-18 10:21:00

I would so all the things I love doing on my own.
All my various musical instruments would be out and I would play music all day.

mabon1 Wed 02-May-18 10:33:05

You are confusing lonely and alone. Nobody wants to be lonely but being alone can be good sometimes.

Minerva Wed 02-May-18 10:33:30

I wouldn’t be lonely but I’ve never had the chance to try it. When my husband moved on (he lives not far away but far enough😬), I was so looking forward to the freedom but it worked out otherwise and I am busier than ever co-parenting a small child and dreaming of having nothing to do but look after myself.

MawBroon Wed 02-May-18 10:34:46

Who exactly is confusing “lonely” and “alone”?
Most people have made the distinction.

Coconut Wed 02-May-18 10:40:24

I feel I the best of both worlds, living in a granny annexe at the side of my daughters house ... so company when I want, and solitude when I want ... so never lonely. Most of my married friends say that they wish they had more “me” time, so being divorced does have its perks !

sluttygran Wed 02-May-18 10:42:27

Lonely? If only!
Don’t get me wrong, I know how lucky I am that my house is always full of children, grandchildren and hangers on. I love them all dearly and enjoy their company, altho’ I fear that their joke about ‘Nan’s 24hr cafe and nursery’ is all too true.
However, on the rare occasions when I do have a day or two to myself, I thoroughly enjoy the space and freedom. I go shopping sometimes, and have even been known to sit down.

kazziecookie Wed 02-May-18 10:48:18

I live and work with DH as we have a guest house. We do it all just the two of us, work hard 7 days a week so our free time is precious.
I do try to spend some time on my own, he hates shopping so I take myself into town. I go SlimmingWorld once a week and tomorrow I am starting a keep fit group called Silver Swans. It is ballet dancing for over 55/60s.
I am not sure if I will be more of a fairy elephant than a swan though.
Long to retire so we can spend quality time together but I have every sympathy Panache as we are struggling to sell the house.

Eglantine21 Wed 02-May-18 10:51:15

My husband died, my parents were dead, I knew the children would be leaving home in the near future, frankly I was terrified of being alone. I never had been. Straight from home to marriage in those days.

Like Annie I have been alone for a long time and I have grown to like it. Quite a lot!

I think it is the freedom to come and go as I please that I value most, go off on the spur of the moment, stay over an extra couple of days, disappear to the other side of the earth for a month or more.......